German Of The Day: Abschiedstournee

That means farewell tour. That’s right. Angela Merkel is farewell touring these days.

And she won’t be satisfied until the tour is over and she has left her party, the CDU, in a shambles as she walks out the door and turns off the light. She has spent the last sixteen years taking the wind out of opposition parties’ sails – through compromizing her own party’s principles – and has not only managed to destroy the SPD (Social Democrats), for instance, she has turned her once conservative CDU into the new SPD. Conservative CDU voters are perfectly aware of this, of course, and the polls for the upcoming election are showing it. And that’s one of the reasons why her hand-picked mini-Merkel-man, Armin Laschet, does not exactly inspire confidence with the German electorate. This election might just get ugly, in other words. But Merkel will be fein raus (gone and off the hook). Can’t wait for books to come out. Not.

Merkels Abschied vom Kanzleramt: Was kommt nach der Bundestagswahl? „Werde mit der Zeit schon was anfangen können.“

“We Don’t Have The Money For It”

But you do, German taxpayer. So we’ll take it from you.

As you may have noticed, Angela Merkel’s CDU became the SPD (Social Democrats) long ago and Armin Laschet, her designated mini-me survivor, is holding that red flag high. As you also may have noticed, the only thing socialists do well (or Social Democrats – or Democrats, for that matter) is spend other people’s money.

Armin Laschet, Germany’s leading candidate to replace Chancellor Angela Merkel, has created a rift between German conservative parties over his comments that now is not the time for tax relief.

Laschet, representing Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union (CDU), on Sunday categorically rejected a proposal for new tax cuts as Germans emerge from the pandemic. “The core message is no tax cuts right now — we don’t have the money for it,” he said in a televised interview.

German Of The Day: Missmanagement

That means mismanagement. Odd. That second S must mean it’s female here.

COVID mismanagement: German government under fire.

Right. Under a small fire. Under a teeny weeny little fire. The German government has messed everything up with this COVID mess from day one so why should there be any consequences now? There are never consequences in Germany, not even at the polls. Don’t know why that is but that’s just how Germans tick. If you do demand consequences, by the way, you will be labeled a Nazi.

‘Criminals must be punished’ – as long as they’re not government criminals.

There Is A Certain Logic To It

Mutti” (Mommy) doesn’t have any children herself.

The gay Health Minister there doesn’t have any either.

COVID: Germany’s Merkel wants vaccines for children aged 12 to 15 – Children in Germany will soon be able to get vaccinated against the coronavirus, but only if the EU’s EMA approves the BioNTech-Pfizer shot for 12 to 15-year-olds.

Frank Ulrich Montgomery, chair of the World Medical Association (WMA), came out in support of StiKo’s reluctance: “Currently, we do not have enough information on the risks of a COVID vaccine for children to make a clear recommendation,” he told Rheinische Post newspaper.

You’re Just Not Trying Hard Enough!

Lock yourself down harder already!

I dunno, lock yourself in your bathroom while you’re locked down at home or something. Just make it happen, people.

Chancellor Angela Merkel on Saturday called on Germans to stick to tighter coronavirus restrictions imposed in areas with high infection rates over the weekend, saying the step was needed to break a third wave of infections.

“I am convinced that if we can now manage to reduce infections significantly and quickly, we will be able to relax them step by step in the foreseeable future,” Merkel said.

By 2023 at the latest.

Curfew This!

Has the Empress of Europe noticed yet that the German natives are getting restless about all these COVID-19 restrictions?

I doubt it. Why should she? She’s the Empress of Europe. And she’s already abdicated anyway.

Coronavirus digest: Germans protest curfews in several cities – Demonstrators have taken to the streets in Frankfurt and other cities to protest a recently imposed nighttime curfew.

German Greens Decide It’s Time To Finally Have A Woman As Chancellor

They’re progressive or something.

And she won’t remove that mask until she gets elected. It heightens the suspense, I’m told.

For the first time in their party’s four-decade history, the German Greens have announced a candidate to run as chancellor.

Equally historic is the central role the Greens will play in September’s general election.

On Monday, the Green Party announced that 40-year-old Annalena Baerbock would be its choice to take over from Angela Merkel after September’s election.

Merkel’s Mini-Me Man Maintains Mandate

Although “man” might be a little übertrieben (exaggerated) here.

They toss the manly-man types out on their ears here in Germany. Or Merkel does, I should say. You know, the popular ones? The ones the voters down below actually want? The swamp folk above do whatever she tells them to do. And that’s just what happened here.

Germany’s conservatives threw their weight on Tuesday behind Armin Laschet, a cautious centrist, as their candidate to succeed Angela Merkel as chancellor in a September national election instead of his more popular Bavarian rival.

Markus Soeder, leader of Bavaria’s Christian Social Union (CSU), conceded defeat in his week-long battle with Laschet, chairman of the larger Christian Democrats (CDU), to lead their alliance, dubbed ‘the Union’, into the Sept. 26 election.

“The die is cast – Armin Laschet will be the Union’s candidate for chancellor.”

Germans In Uniform Again

When it comes to their next lockdown, I mean. Or maybe they aren’t. Hard to say for sure.

Merkel backs ‘short, uniform lockdown’ across Germany – German Chancellor Angela Merkel has thrown her weight behind calls for a “short, uniform lockdown” as the country grapples with a high level of coronavirus cases fueled by the spread of a more contagious variant first detected in Britain

I’ve been very sceptical about anything Angela Merkel attempts these days but if she’s thrown her weight behind this measure then it might just happen.

After A Thorough Analysis…

We have decided that Russia’s Covid-19 vaccine is actually pretty good.

Of course, this is also after we have done everything and we mean everything wrong in trying to provide our citizens with any kind of Covid-19 vaccine at all, ever.

Germany Willing to Consider Russia’s Sputnik Covid-19 Vaccine – Germany would consider buying Russia’s Sputnik V Covid-19 vaccine even if some of its European partners choose not to, according to Chancellor Angela Merkel’s chief spokesman.

“We’re still coordinating the details and have already had weeks of talks.”