German Of The Day: Migrationshintergrund

That means migrant or immigration background.

Migrationshintergrund

You know, like almost half of the unemployed in Germany have Migrationshintergrund? 46 percent, to be exact, sort of (answering this question at the employment office is not mandatory so the number will actually be higher). Back in 2013 it was 36 percent. Kind of a high percentage, don’t you think? But the talking heads in government and media don’t worry about something like this turning into a larger problem than it already is because they have been told, officially like, that “they can do it.”

Die entsprechende Quote liegt demnach bei 46 Prozent. Ende 2013, vor Beginn der verstärkten Migration nach Deutschland, hatte der Wert noch bei 36 Prozent gelegen.

Who’s Your Daddy?

The German birth rate is suddenly spiking or something. I knew you could do it, guys.

Pregnant

German officials say growing numbers of pregnant immigrant women are paying German men to pose as fathers so that they can qualify for residency.

German broadcaster RBB found up to 700 cases in Berlin alone. “There are many unreported cases,” said Ole Schröder, a top interior ministry official.

Some pregnant immigrant women are reported to have paid fake fathers and solicitors as much as €5,000 (£4,356; $5,628) to get paternity registered. Once that is done, the baby automatically becomes a German citizen and the mother has the right to stay.

“Wir haben teilweise Personen, die über zehn Vaterschaften annerkannt haben.”

German Of The Day: Leitkultur

That means the dominant, leading culture. In this case, the one with dominant German values.

Leitkultur

This is of course a bad word because it incorrectly implies that Germany should be more like Germany and less like, I dunno, Pakistan or something. That kind of thinking is anti-multikulti and therefore racist not to say Nazi (which will be said soon enough) so when the German interior minister suggests a 10-point plan to help establish these dominant German values – in the hope of actually helping immigrants to integrate – massive waves of righteous moral outrage are virtually guaranteed.*

“Wer sich seiner Leitkultur sicher ist, ist stark.”

* Election time is approaching fast, folks. If this suggestion would have been made by the AfD, by the way,  this moral outrage would have been expressed by the very government that just made the suggestion.

Latest Cultural Exchange Takes Place

This time at Berlin’s Carneval of Cultures. Like, duh. Where else?

Culture

Police have detained three suspects after two teens were groped and robbed by a group of young men during Berlin’s “Karneval der Kulturen” festival. The assault was reminiscent of the New Year’s Eve attacks in Cologne.

Germans everywhere immediately began apologizing for not having first properly explained to these young men how sexual harassment, rape and robbery are not generally viewed as being socially acceptable in their country and then immediately sought to make amends for their shameful oversight by referring them to the German government’s latest $136,000 porn site specially designed for sex-starved refugees like themselves who are desperately trying to integrate with German women or anything else out there that moves.

Sex

Hmmm. They could have at least explained to that guy (I’m assuming here he’s the asylum-seeker) that the two of them are going to have to take the rest of their clothes off first.

The site is adorned with cartoon illustrations of various sex acts that are equally graphic and clinical. (Imagine the stick-figure man and woman on a public restroom sign pictured in virtually every conceivable sexual position.)

I Got Your Demographics For You Right Here

No babies. And no immigrants, either.

Each year, the German government spends billions of euros in an effort to stop the country’s ticking demographic time bomb. By 2050, it is estimated that only 70 million people will be living in the country, down from today’s roughly 82 million. Without a major change in the birthrate or a mass influx of up to 24 million new immigrants, the population could soon begin shrinking, according to United Nations forecasts…

Birthrate this.

“…Germany underestimated the importance of a culture of welcome and overestimated the attractiveness as a country of immigration,” said Ulrich Kober of the Bertelsmann Foundation which commissioned the study released on Monday.

The country could pay a heavy price for its anti-immigration views as its older workforce dies out, concludes the Foundation. “Highly qualified people from non-EU countries actively avoid moving to Germany,” added Herr Kober.

Humanitarian effort here? Nein Danke!

In Libya, maybe. But only if you ask nicely.

Uh oh. Germany is lecturing about responsibility again (immigrants from North Africa are trying to make their way to Europe for some strange reason these days and the EU is showing EU solidarity again).

Germany criticized Italian officials for undermining the Schengen Agreement, which established passport-free zones, and said Italy should handle the immigrants on its own.

“Within this European solidarity, it is necessary for each individual country to first face its responsibility,” Germany’s interior minister, Hans-Peter Friedrich, said in a television interview.

Libya: Frankreich reagierte mit Spott auf Deutschlands Pläne: Die Bereitschaft Berlins zu einem humanitären Hilfseinsatz in Libyen sei wie eine “mündliche Nachprüfung”, sagte Verteidigungsminister Gérard Longuet am Dienstag vor der französischen Nationalversammlung.