Damn. Somebody’s sure trying to blow up stuff around here these days. And they keep blaming it on those old WWII bombs folks keep diggin’ up.
Wie der Flughafensprecher weiter sagte, werden möglichst viele Flüge nach Berlin-Schönefeld umgeleitet.
Tag Archives: Satire
Gerhard Schröder: It wasn’t me…
Who was in the car with the drunken church lady that night she got busted and then lost her job. He swears.
He refuses to comment on speculation about him being the guy who planted that 250 kilo bomb they found at S-Bahn Ostkreuz today, though.
Gegen 18.15 Uhr konnte das Entschärferteam Entwarnung geben.
German anti-Scientology film false and intolerant
Say Scientologists everywhere, and like they should know.
“The truth is precisely the opposite of that which the ARD is showing (Until Nothing Remains),” said one Scientology spokesman. “This crap could have come from us,” he might have added.
Scientology – eine “faschistoide Welt” – and we (as in you) Germans should know.
More risk assessment, please
Last year, Germany had considered accepting Guantanamo prisoners but later backed off amid concerns that the men could prove to be dangerous. Duh?
This year, Germany is doing the same thing.
Auch in Zukunft will Deutschland die Aufnahme von Guantanamo-Häftlingen im Einzelfall prüfen.
Ich robot, Du Döner wollen?
A fully automated Döner Kebab slicing robot? It’s about time, is all I can say.
Germans eat about 400 tons of Döner meat a day. Somebody’s got to slice the stuff.
Erste Döner-Messe in Berlin: Branche bestaunt vollautomatischen Döner-Rasierer
You can’t depend on ANYBODY these days
Sheesh. Of all folks (or Volks, if you prefer), rumor has it that the Germans are now beginning to lose thier angst about climate change. Now, of all times. Where angst is in the air and everywhere, I mean (they’re scared of freakin’ daylight savings time for crying out loud).
According to a Spiegel survey – and Spiegel Leser wissen mehr (Spiegel readers know more) – only a piddly 42 percent of Germans lose sleep at night anymore when it comes to global warming. Pitiful, people.
Come on, now. Get with the plan, Volks. Boo! Or something.
Heute hält jeder dritte Deutsche die Prognose der Klimaforscher, nach der es langfristig immer wärmer wird, nicht für zuverlässig.
Germans endangered by time change again
What a difference an hour makes. If you’re German, that is.
German sleep researchers are concerned, some might even say downright nervous about the coming daylight savings time change here.
The German biological time system being much more sensitive than say, uh, everybody else’s out there, pushing back/forward the clock just a mere hour can be an extremely stressfull undertaking here and can even lead to untimely German heart attacks. Or could. Maybe. Maybe not though, too. Hard to say for sure.
Doesn’t anybody care? Other than not me, I mean?
“Richtig gewöhnen wir uns daran nie.”
Invisible glue goo
“Once the invisible glue that bound the Union…
German policy is now being dictated by less idealistic priorities rooted firmly by national interests.”
When weathermen go bad
Weather he’s guilty or not…
Popular German weatherman Joerg Kachelmann was arrested in Frankfurt after his long-standing girlfriend claimed that he had forced sexual relations with her after an argument, something he denies vehemently.
But other than that, Kachelmann reports that it’s going to remain generally warm and even a bit humid in the next few days, especially for him, with a mild chance of rain and thunder showers, which he’ll miss, should they happen, him being in jail and all.
“Without wishing to prejudice legal proceedings, we regard it as unthinkable that the accusations could be correct.”
Time to get nervous again
Gee, I wonder how anti-Atom Germany is going to react to this one (not).
Clean nuclear technology? Not with our ideology.
Bill Gates is sinking “several billion dollars” into a project with Toshiba to develop small-scale efficient nuclear reactors that burn spent uranium.
Observing Hermann 