These Old Germans Are Doing It All Wrong

The number of people relying on food donations has increased to 1.65 million in the past year, a 10% increase overall, and 20% increase among people 65 and older.

Food

They need to approach this problem differently.

1) Go to Austria.

2) Throw away your passport.

3) Enter the country as a refugee from, well, it doesn’t really matter where you’re from as long as you call yourself a refugee.

You’ll get free room and board for as long as you want

“This development is alarming — old-age poverty will overrun us in the coming years.”

Where’s The Pork?

German oddity 415. The pig is big here. Germans have more pig and sow idioms then wurst varieties – and that’s a whole lot. They also seem to think that any phrase or saying can be improved just by adding the words pig or sow to it, thus making said phrase or saying saugut (sow good or damned fine).

Pork

So what about this German oddity in the news today? After a German day care center in Leipzig decided not to offer pork on its meal plan anymore (gee, I wonder why?) threats started coming in. The police have now decided to guard the place.

And after BILD decided to report about the day care center’s decision the hashtag #Schweinefleisch (pork) reached the number one spot in Germany.

Polizeischutz für Kita ohne Schweinefleisch in Leipzig.

German Of The Day: Bratwurst

That means bratwurst. Oh, brother. Dopey Americans eating goofy German food.

“It smells like prune juice and beer had a baby.”

Amerikaner mögen Pizza, Burger und Cola. Was passiert aber, wenn sie deutsches Essen probieren? Was halten sie von Vitamalz, Lakritze und Bratwurst? Ein Youtube-Video zeigt die Antwort.

 

German Elderly And Single Mothers Stealing Food From Migrants

The racist, xenophobic swine.

Food

A food bank in Germany has temporarily stopped taking on new foreign clients after saying a huge influx of migrants had displaced desperate locals.

Joerg Sartor, chairman of the Essener Tafel charity that serves free meals to the poor in the western city of Essen, said: ‘We want the German granny to be able to keep coming to us’.

He said especially German elderly people and single mothers had been gradually displaced over the past two years as the share of migrants had risen to three-quarters of recipients.

“Wasser auf die Mühlen der Rechtspopulisten.”

Vegan Meat?

Is that like… Clearly confused? Passive aggressive? Least favorite? Pretty ugly?

Meat

Only oxymorons at Berlin’s Green Week talk that way. No open secret.

International Green Week has been running in Berlin since 1926, showcasing innovation in food and agriculture industries to 400,000 visitors a year. In celebration of Green Week, German news publication BR24 featured a segment on vegan meat startup AMIDORI.

AMIDORI is the name behind upcoming vegan line M¡dori, who specialise in meat-alternatives made from pea protein. Their products contain 25-35% protein, with just 2-4% fat. The line includes stripes, sticks and Crunchlets of ‘meat’, as well as food resembling pulled pork and mince.

Grüne Woche – Großes Gedränge und kaputte Rolltreppen.

No More Döner For Dinner?

Huh? That’s absolutely, positively my favorite German food!

Döner

Leave it up to the Enlightened Left to help protect us from ourselves again.

The EU’s Umweltausschuss (ecology committee) plans to restrict the use of phosphates in frozen meats. A loophole in their legislation had allowed frozen Döner Kebab to contain phosphates up until now. Only fresh Döner will be allowed to have phosphates in the future.

The problem here: Almost all of the Döner restaurants in Europe depend upon frozen Döner meat being delivered to them. Some 500 tons of it are eaten every day. 80% of that in Germany. Over 110,000 jobs would be affected. And please note: The same EU bureaucrats (from another EU department, of course) have declared that 4200 mg of phosphates per day does not pose a health hazard. A Döner Kebab has on average 134 mg.

What can you say? What else can you say? “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.”

Wegen Sozialisten und Grünen im EU-Parlament – Dem Döner droht das Aus!

Misleading AND Unsettling

That’s what German agriculture minister Christian Schmidt thinks about food names like “vegetarian schnitzel” and “vegan curry sausage.” He even thinks that names like these should be banned because they mislead and unsettle the public.

Wurst

And I almost agree – those two names unsettle me, for one. Only what do you do about all those other weird traditional German food names out there already? You know, like Leberkäse (liver cheese – neither liver nor cheese inside), Teewurst (tea sausage – no tea), Bierschinken (beer ham – no beer), Baumkuchen (tree cake – no tree), Armer Ritter (poor knight – no knight, poor or otherwise) and Amerikaner (there sure the hell better not be any Americans in there!)? I mean, how misleading and unsettling is that? Let’s cut our loses and call the whole thing off, Herr Minister Schmidt.

Niemand dürfe „bei diesen Pseudo-Fleischgerichten so tun, als ob es Fleisch wäre“, forderte Schmidt.

Police Brutality Is Real

Police in Berlin had to drag a man from a bus on Wednesday evening after he refused to stop eating a Döner which he’d brought on board.

Döner

It’s a far cry from the relaxed attitude promoted in BVG advertising.

Döner im Bus ist verboten – was ist denn erlaubt?

Bio Business Big Bad Business

Everybody buys Bio (organic) here. You know, like with real, non-organic money? It’s not just for the bio bourgeoisie anymore.

Bio

So don’t watch that there “Bio-Illusion” documentary on Arte if you can help it, folks. Not even if you can go back in time to yesterday to see it when it was on, I mean. Which you can’t, I bet.

Those who believe that organic farming is the work of some sinister food mafia will only be reinforced after watching the documentary “Bio-Illusion.” The others will be angry, with good reason.

Wo Bio draufsteht, muss noch längst nicht Bio drin sein.

PS: Speaking of the organic illusion, here’s another one for you here made in the US of A.