German Of The Day: Hartz IV Und Der Tag Gehört Dir

That means: Get on welfare (Hartz IV) and the day belongs to you.

Welfare

Jeden Tag Pizza und Bier – Pizza and beer every day!

In a verdict Tuesday, the Federal Constitutional Court found that monthslong slashes to welfare benefits known as Hartz IV for “breaches of duty” are unlawful.

Under current legislation, recipients of the benefit can have their payments reduced by 30% for a period of three months if they don’t fulfill certain conditions. The amount can also be cut further — by 60% — or even completely, if a job center adviser deems they have failed to cooperate. The rules are stricter for people under the age of 25.

“It hardly makes any sense to go to work.”

German Of The Day: Kater

That means tomcat. But it also means hangover.

Kater

And here you thought that the courts of the country you live in made wacky court decisions (and they do).

A German court has ruled that hangovers are an “illness”, in a timely judgement days after the annual Oktoberfest beer festival began in Munich.

The case landed before judges in Frankfurt when plaintiffs claimed a firm offering anti-hangover “shots” and drink powders to mix with water was making illegal health claims.

“Information about a food product cannot ascribe any properties for preventing, treating or healing a human illness or give the impression of such a property,” the sober ruling from the superior regional court on Monday said.

Ein Alkoholkater ist eine Krankheit. Hersteller von Nahrungsergänzungsmitteln dürfen daher nicht damit werben, dass ihr Produkt gegen den Kater hilft oder ihm vorbeugt, wie das Oberlandesgericht (OLG) Frankfurt am Main in einem am Montag veröffentlichten Urteil entschied.

Just In Time For Summer!

No creeping multicultural parallel societal infiltration going on here, folks.

Burkini

German court has lifted a city’s ban on the burkini, an all-encompassing swimsuit used by some Muslim women.

Wearing the garments in municipal pools in the western city of Koblenz was forbidden at the beginning of this year after the local council narrowly approved a ban. Officials argued that the suite makes it impossible to check whether wearers have open wounds or diseases.

The rules were challenged by a Syrian asylum-seeker, a pious Muslim who said doctors had recommended that she use a swimming pool to tackle pain caused by a back problem.

Das Burkini-Verbot in Koblenzer Schwimmbädern ist nicht rechtens. Es verstoße gegen das verfassungsrechtliche Gleichbehandlungsgebot, hat das Oberverwaltungsgericht Rheinland-Pfalz entschieden.

German Of The Day: Bildungsurlaub

That means educational or vocational training leave. You know, like that yoga course you took for your job?

Yoga

What? Your boss freaked out at the suggestion? Well, everybody does it here in Berlin. Yoga to go with the times, people.

A yoga course can be considered vocational training, a Berlin court has ruled, paving the way to doing the “Downward-facing Dog” or “Greet the Sun” on company time in Germany’s capital.

The state labour court for Berlin-Brandenburg has ruled a worker has the right to paid leave so they can attend a five-day adult education course entitled “Yoga I – successful and relaxed at work with yoga and meditation”.

The judge ruled that under Berlin’s Educational Leave Act, even a yoga course fulfills the far-reaching criteria of “professional development” which would promote an individual’s “adaptability and self-assertion”.

“Yoga I – erfolgreich und entspannt im Beruf mit Yoga und Meditation.”

No Parallel Society Here

Not yet anyway.

Kindergarden

But if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

Germany: Muslim kindergarten loses appeal against closure – State officials had ordered “Al Nur” to close following revelations that inappropriate literature had been shared at the kindergarten. The day care center is the only Muslim kindergarten in Rhineland-Palatinate…

The state’s decision to revoke Al Nur kindergarten’s license was lawful because evidence showed links between the school’s administrators and the extremist Salafist ideology, an administrative court in the city of Mainz said. The court said the links made it difficult for children at Al Nur to integrate into German society and compromised their independence.

“Efforts by Arab Nil-Rhein, the association that runs the kindergarten, to distance itself from Salafist thought were not convincing.”

Not Paying Him Would Have Been Inhumane

German prosecutors have launched an investigation into why a Moroccan man convicted of assisting the 9/11 suicide plotters was allowed to leave Germany with an envelope containing €7,000 in cash.

Terrorist

Well, on the one hand… It is forbidden to pay the money from a “prisons account” to terrorists or terror suspects because their assets are meant to be frozen and inaccessible.

But on the other hand, dumping this poor mass murder accomplice off in Casablanca without any cash in his pocket would have been just plain cruel and unusual.

Motassadeq war Mitglied der sogenannten Hamburger Zelle um den Todespiloten Mohammed Atta, der 2001 eines der Flugzeuge in das World Trade Center in New York gesteuert hatte.

Colombia

Beautiful German weapons sale of the week.

Guns

OK, in this case beautiful German judicial deal of the week.

Because somebody has to admire them.

Three former executives at German gun-maker Sig Sauer, including one who became CEO of a sister company in the United States, reached a deal with prosecutors over allegations they illegally exported arms to Colombia and likely won’t go to prison, a court official in Germany said Wednesday.

We Are Justified In Taking Away Your Children

If you don’t send them to our schools. Where they learn our rules. And become proper tools. You fools.

Home Schooling

We simply must INSIST on giving your children a classical education, you see. And as George Orwell himself put it: “I doubt whether classical education ever has been or can be successfully carried out without corporal punishment.”

German parents whose four children were taken into care because they refused to send them to school did not have their human rights breached, the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) has ruled.

Home education is banned in Germany but the Wunderlich family, from Darmstadt, who are Christian, wished to educate their children in this way.

“Based on the information available at the time, the domestic authorities had reasonably assumed that the children were isolated, had had no contact with anyone outside of the family, and that a risk to their physical integrity had existed.”

Fifteen Will Get You Eight And A Half In Germany

Which is really more like three or four, but still. German math is einfach kompliziert (simply complicated). The German justice system is pretty straightforward, though.

Mia

A German court has sentenced a migrant to eight and a half years for murdering his 15-year-old ex-girlfriend.

Abdul D, believed to be Afghan, admitted stabbing Mia V in December in the south-western town of Kandel.

Prosecutors believe he acted out of jealousy and revenge after Mia, a German citizen, broke up with him…

The accused said he was 15 at the time of the crime but an expert medical assessment ordered by prosecutors said that he was more likely to be between 17 and 20 years old.

 „Mein Mandant verzichtet auf Rechtsmittel und ist mit dem Strafmaß einverstanden.”

German Of The Day: Ordnung Muss Sein

That means order must prevail. And prevail it does in Germany, sort of.

Ordnung

This stuff just keeps getting weirder. The recent deportation of Osama bin Laden’s bodyguard and suspected jihadist Sami A. to Tunesia has now been ruled illegal because a last minute fax blocking the decision to deport him was received only after the plane carrying him off to Tunesia had already taken off and this led a higher German court to now order him to be brought back to Germany where he will eventually be deported back to Tunesia again but only after this orderly German deportation process has been carried out in a thoroughly orderly German fashion. I feel like I’m in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest here sometimes, people.

A higher court in the western German state of North Rhine-Westphalia has ordered the city of Bochum to bring back Sami A., a suspected former bodyguard for Osama bin Laden, who was deported to his native Tunisia last month.

Bochum can appeal the decision in Germany’s top constitutional court in Karlsruhe. But an appeal is not likely to delay the return of the suspect.

Maybe the Tunisians might come through here, though. They are bound to be a little more advanced in matters of jurisprudence.

“The process here in Tunisia is still ongoing, so he has no ID to travel with.”