German Of The Day: Andere Länder Andere Sitten

That means other countries other customs.

Vatertag

Finally, a holiday for the rest of us.

German Oddity 391. Only in Germany is Vatertag or Father’s Day commemorated by hordes of oddly dressed men pulling little wooden wagons overloaded with beer and snaps through wooded areas (or right through the middle of your town) roaring and swearing and pissing all over the place until they vomit on themselves and pass out but not before having called their wives to pick them up and drag them back home again.

Half Of All Germans Too Fat?

And here you thought that Americans were too fat. And they are.

Fat

Ah… screw it. Let’s go out today (Happy Vatertag, Männer) and refocus our thoughts on something more positive and drink a swimming pool of beer! Yee-haw!

Fast ein Drittel der Weltbevölkerung ist übergewichtig oder fettleibig.

Same procedure as every year, men.

Happy Christi Himmelfahrtskommandotag!

Vatertag is also Ascension here (or the other way around), and a real holiday. And a real boon to the German liquor industry, too.

And there really is some connection between the two holidays here somewhere, I think. Jesus is known to have drunk wine and wander around the countryside with his buddies, for instance. Although without the Bollerwagen (handcarts), of course. Nor did they ever drink and drive, as far as I know.

Not so here in Germany, however. Bild tells us that there will be three times as many alcohol-related accidents today as usual. And I believe it, too. Just ask these guys down here.

Herrentag ist Unfalltag!

PS: Christi Himmelfahrt is the Ascension. A Himmelfahrtskommando is a kamikaze operation.