Draw This

How can you (Germany) have a 4-0 lead in the 60th minute (in Berlin) and then end up with a 4-4 draw against Sweden at the end of the match (a World Cup qualifier)?

Beats the hell out of me. But nobody else here seems to know what happened, either. I guess this was just one of those thrill-of-victory-and-agony-of-defeat moments or something. Only it was a tie. Which makes it, I dunno, worse?

Looking on, their manager, Joachim Löw, was in a “state of shock,” unable to comprehend how his players had managed to throw away a 4-0 lead on home soil to a Sweden side that days earlier had scrambled to victory over Faroe Islands. Germany had drawn but it felt like a defeat.

Another reason to like Germany’s national team

(And they haven’t even beat Argentina yet) German neo-Nazis don’t like them.

For neo-Nazis it is next to impossible to back a team that includes players with names like Boateng, Özil or Podolski. This German national team is the most ethnically diverse ever, celebrated widely as finally being representative of the wider German society. But to the far right, a squad where 11 of the 23 have migrant backgrounds is no longer really German.

“The black-red-gold flag that attaches itself to the Federal Republic of Germany is not the flag of the German nation! Whoever proudly waves that flag is supporting the exact opposite of what is really German and national.”

Germans in drag

OK, fine. But in Pakistan?

A German national terrorist type wearing a burqa got busted by Pakistani security forces while trying to sneak through a security check post in northwestern Pakistan.

Worse still, he was also wearing one of those loud and annoying German World Cup flag jerseys and antler sets everybody’s wearing around here these days – or he might as well have been.

The German was wearing a full-body sewing cloth that Muslim women wear for cultural and religious reasons.

It’s Selbstzerfleischung time again!

Everything goes from one extreme to the other here, that’s just what Germans do.

Selbstzerfleischung means something like self-destructive criticism and with German Fußball it goes like this: Just a few hours ago, what seemed like the entire German nation gathered together at public and less public viewing locales everywhere to watch their team beat Serbia mit links (with the left hand – hands down). They won’t necessarily admit that this is what they were thinking but this is precisely what they were.

Then they lost for some reason. So now it goes back the other way: The entire German nation is now down on the same team they were so confident in a few hours back for being the biggest bunch of losers they’ve ever seen since the last time they saw them lose – although it was a different set of losers then – only now they admit openly that they were thinking this would happen all along.

Then come the reasons why they lost, and they are legion. Blah, blah, blah. Everybody knows why afterward, and the venom gets on everything. It’s a real mess and practically impossible to get out unless you use Ariel at 60 Grad, twice.

But they’re trying this time, the Germans. I must say that they’re doing their best to spread the blame around a little more unfairly, as best they can, although the way they’re spreading it isn’t all that terribly original: They’re blaming the referee this time too.

“Der Schiedsrichter ist auch nur ein Mensch – aber kein guter.”

Athletes are dumb

We knew that already, right? But sports commentators can be pretty dumb too, you know.

Nobody knows what this lady was thinking when she said it, least of all herself I’m sure, but after Germany’s Miroslav Klose shot this beautiful goal against Australia the other night (and ended a long dry spell everybody had been ragging him about), she said “That’s a real inner Reichsparteitag (Nuremberg Rally) for Miroslav Klose, that he scores a goal like that here today.”

Huh? That’s a new one for me – although it’s clearly not a new one for a bunch of other folks around here. Dict.cc just told me that it’s an idiom meaning “a feeling of deep satisfaction over the outcome of something.” Oh. That makes it, uh, better, I guess.

“Es war eine sprachliche Entgleisung im Eifer der Halbzeitpause.”

Work, work, work…

While watching World Cup at work, work, work.

You got to set your priorities, I guess. And when it comes to the soccer (some say football) World Cup starting this weekend, Germans have clearly set theirs. Even the head of the national employers’ association believes his countrymen should be allowed to watch the World Cup on television at work without getting into trouble with their superiors.

This is a sensible thing to say, I think, because they’re going to be watching it one way or the other anyway.

“Watching soccer together encourages team cohesion and staff motivation.”