How do you keep the hysteria going?

It’s clearly getting tougher and tougher with each passing day. When you’re well into your third week of daily reports about the Fukushima SUPER-GAU (disaster beyond all expectations) and that nuclear worst case scenario just simply won’t happen, even the most loyal alarmist starts getting a little pooped out. The Spannung (tension) just won’t steigen (mount) anymore.

I mean, we’ve already had the German atomic turnaround and the German Green triumph and the old German nuclear reactors are already shut off (and won’t be turned back on again) and the entire German nuclear power industry will be shut down next before all too long too so like what’s left to get excited about? Nothing? But what’s that got to do with anything? There was nothing to get excited about in the first place.

Poor devils, they’re scrambling and hustling as best they can but the pickings are awfully slim. They’re trying it today with 2285 missing fuel element ball thingies at a German nuclear research center. Talk about boring.

Like I said, slim pickin’s. But hey, it’s a Monday. See what they throw at us tomorrow.

Es klingt wie ein verspäteter Aprilscherz: Das Forschungszentrum Jülich vermisst 2285 Brennelementekugeln.

PS: Thanks for the link, A.K. – Diese kollektive Besoffenheit über Fukushima, diese unglaubliche Dummheit, dieses Ausrasten eines ganzen Volks haben mich eines Besseren belehrt.

Heine, der Emigrant in seiner Matratzengruft, hat alles richtig gesehen.

http://zettelsraum.blogspot.com/2011/04/biografien-ein-deutscher-dialog-zettel_03.html

Blind Me With Science

Please.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that 300 scientists “from various areas of expertise” have written a letter to Angie Merkel requesting that Germany shut down Germany’s risky nuclear reactors (the entire industry) as soon as possible. What surprises me is when I occasionally bump into a German scientist who isn’t prepared to jump off the cliff with everybody else. They are, needless to say, very few and very far between.

Here’s what physicist Christoph Barthe (a climate change guy) has to say about German nuclear power in an opinion piece called Despite Fukushima (page 15, Die Zeit No. 14, 31 March 2011):

Felix Dachel maintains in his response to “In Praise of the Movement” (Zeit Nr. 13) that the majority of Germans were already against nuclear energy before Fukushima. This is incorrect. An Allensbach survey from March, 2010 revealed that 44% of those asked said that, “all things considered,” they were for the further use of nuclear power, 37% were against it. A survey taken by TNS Emnid in February 2010 revealed that 60% of Germans asked were for the continued use of nuclear energy once the question of the final disposal of nuclear waste gets cleared up, 37% were against it.

Now a lot of nonsense is being spread around in the public concerning this question of the final disposal of nuclear waste. The unresolved waste disposal issue is certainly an effective public appeal argument for the anti-nuclear movement, but it is completely inappropriate as an excuse to phase-out nuclear power. The amount of highly radioactive waste is extremely small: Three-thousandth of a gram per kilowatt hour in Germany. There are more than enough suitable rock layers available which have been stable for countless millions of years and which we can expect with good conscience to remain that way for a few more million years to come. That is simple geologic knowledge. In contrast to that, greenhouse gases continue to be pumped into the atmosphere with foreseeable catastrophic effects that the same anti-nuclear activists warn us about.

It is the same thing when you compare the risks of climate change with the risks of nuclear energy, a technology that has been, despite 30 years of resistance to it, the most climate compatible energy source yet developed. If you compare the very slight risk of radioactive pollution with the very real danger caused by the continued unabated pollution of the atmosphere through greenhouse gases, generation after generation, then it must be clear that the question of risk speaks in favor of nuclear energy and not against it—despite Fukushima.

“There’s an app for that”

And there’s a market for it too. In Germany there is.

This one is bound to sell like hotcakes. A German developer has wasted no time in bringing out an Apple app that gives you the location of the AKW nearest you. You know, Atomkraftwerk (nuclear power plant)?

It also gives the user the pertinant information about each one located like how soon we’re all gonna die, the next demonstration planned, the shutdown date. Stuff like that.
 
Dank des AKW-Finders muss man sich nun nicht mehr durch komplexe Online-Angebote arbeiten, sondern bekommt sämtliche Infos auf einen Blick präsentiert.

Fossil Fools

In Japan, we have seen mighty tectonic shifts, with tragic effects. In Germany, teutonic plates have been swirling around uncontrollably, and the country has undergone a nuclear U-turn at the hand of Angela Merkel, the normally iconically-cool Chancellor.

But now for something completely different: German energy puns.

Boy I tell ya, when it comes to shutting down nuclear power plants these Germans really know what’s watt.

I just heard all the German nuclear physicists have gone fission.

I guy I talked to says that now that they’ve shut down all these nuclear plants they’re gonna re-fuse to start them back up again.

Green? Why Germans are so green these days that they’ve resorted to planting light bulbs. They want to see if power plants will grow.

You know why wind power is so popular in this country? It has a lot of fans.

You know what they are going to call a power failure here pretty soon, don’t you? A current event.

I ran into this silly old German Green the other day. Man, talk about a fossil fool.

During the past week, the Germans have not set a good example, casting away logic and apparently deciding future energy policy on the basis of an emotional spasm rather than a clearly-thought out strategy.

Surprise Terrorist Attack Shuts Down German Bundestag But Nobody Seems To Care All That Much Really

Islamic terrorists disquised as construction crew workers for the Vattenfall power company plunged Berlin’s Bundestag into near total darkness and cluelessness (even more cluelessness than usual) after launching a successful surpise attack upon a power cable three meters below the earth at 09:00 this morning somewhere the-hell-if-I-know-where in Berlin Mitte.

Computers are down, toilets are out, Germany is tumbling leaderless through space and nobody anywhere around here gives a shit.

As one Bundestag representative reported: “We are unable to work.” “Yeah,” his neighbor replied. “And now the damned power is out too.”

The Vattenfall terrorists, realizing that their mission to put Germany in a panic has utterly failed, now say that they will have the power back up again around four this afternoon. Or manjana maybe. Mal sehen (see what happens).

“Wir sind arbeitsunfähig.”

The ‘Merican Mini-Me Machine Mystery

While certain experts fear that Washington’s Geheimniskrämerei (secret-mongering) concerning the second launch of the X-37B “Mini-Me Shuttle” might make countries like China and Russia nervous, Germans have once again taken the initiative and become nervous first.

“The Air Force did confirm that this robotic space plane is designed to stay in orbit for 270 days,” one hand-wringing German official said. “But it hasn’t said anything about the mysterious and EVIL new technolgies that are to be tested with it. This kind of stuff bekanntlich (as you know) makes us nervous.”

Indeed, the only information the Air Force handed out to journalists at all was a short list of some of the Mini-Me Shuttle’s “favorite things:”

Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth
Humping the giant laser
Terrorizing Scott
Biting and
Being evil

Experten fürchten, dass Washingtons Geheimniskrämerei China und Russland nervös macht.

Germans Won’t Buy The Right Gasoline

Actually, it’s the left gasoline, but still.

Strange, isn’t it? On the one hand, you probably won’t be able to find a nation more vocal when it comes to saving the environment and/or planet than Germany. On the other hand, it would be hard to imagine a nation of car freaks more freakish about their big German cars than Germans are (the dirtiest in Europe – the cars not the drivers).

Anyways, car freaks everywhere in Germany have united and are absolutely positively refusing to buy the latest thing that is good for them, an “organic” fuel called E10 that contains 10 percent ethanol. The reason? Rumor has it that this stuff can cause motor damage on some car models. Everybody’s buying super instead and now there’s a super shortage, which is anything but super.

I guess you have to ask yourself one question, punks: Your planet or your car? You know, kind of like that old Jack Benny gag where the armed thief asks “Your money or your life?” and Jack Benny won’t answer at first and finally replies “I’m thinking.”

Bisher sind die Autofahrer überwiegend nicht bereit, den neuen Bio-Kraftstoff E10 mit zehn Prozent Ethanol zu tanken.

Smashingly Successful Satellite Soon To Smash Into Earth

A great scientific success or something, it looks like the 2,400kg German X-ray satellite telescope ROSAT will be less successful when it reenters our planet’s atmosphere later this year.

It is unlikely to burn up entirely due to the large amount of ceramics and glass used for its construction. Parts as heavy as 400kg could crash on the Earth sometime between October and December 2011. And if that wasn’t bad enough, even more frightening are the calculations that show how some of these parts could actually even hit, gulp, Germany. Of all places.

Wissenschaftlich gesehen, daran besteht kein Zweifel, war das fliegende Observatorium ein Erfolg.

3-D Big At The Berlinale This Year

They won’t be showing these, though.

Unlike Hollywood’s 1950s 3-D movies, which used two projectors, the Nazi version used standard 35mm film cut in half into a split-screen. When it was projected, a prism would combine the two images.

Ironically, he first disclosed the find during the Berlinale, the Berlin film festival, this week, where filmmakers worldwide were rolling out 3-D movies.

If I wanted to find a friend I’d buy a dog

Bowing to excessively strict German privacy law pressure, Facebook has grudgingly agreed to allow German users to protect their email contacts from unwanted social network solicitations that could lead to possible “friendships” or other related gross infringements of privacy.

Although there are more than 10 million Facebook users in Germany, none of them appear to be particularly friendly, much less know one another, nor do they “get” the Facebood Friend Finder concept in the first place, nor want to, because we’re not kids anymore damn it and we are all perfectly aware of what these so-called “friendships” are all about and where they eventually lead to and if any one of us wanted a find a friend he or she would go to the local pound and buy a freakin’ dog like God had intended us to.

“We are pleased that we have come to a solution with the Hamburg DPA regarding concerns about Friend Finder and look forward to continue our constructive discussions and dialogue in the future,” although they weren’t particularly friendly.