Angela Merkel Condemns Xenophobia

After her decision to let more than a million refugees into Germany.

Bundestag

She hasn’t got around to condemning murder yet but she’s lernfähig (capable of learning), or at least she claims to be.

German Chancellor Angela Merkel condemned xenophobic attacks and the use of Nazi slogans in a robust speech to parliament on Wednesday after the most violent far-right demonstrations in decades exposed deep divisions in the country.

Protests of right-wing radicals in the eastern city of Chemnitz two weeks ago after the fatal stabbing of a German blamed on two migrants has reignited a fierce debate about her 2015 decision to let more than a million refugees into Germany.

Dann griff er Kanzlerin Merkel scharf an: Sie habe „Fake News“ verbreitet, als ihr Sprecher von „Hetzjagden“ gesprochen habe… „Verbarrikadieren Sie sich nur weiter im Bundeskanzleramt. Ich wiederhole meine Frage: Wer gefährdet den politischen Frieden?“

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Acute Threat Now Just A Cute Threat

A senior German politician has confirmed today that hackers have been able to collect confidential information from Germany’s government network.

Cyberattack

He quickly stressed, however, that this information was expressly labeled confidential and he is therefore quite confident that the hackers won’t read it.

“Confidential means in confidence, after all,” he said. “So when one indicates confidentiality it imparts that this information is a private, even a secret matter. Intimate even, although we certainly don’t have any of that kind of material in our network. Strictly forbidden, you know. So why would one who is not in confidence read confidential information? Would you? Of course not. I wouldn’t, either. I just wouldn’t have the confidence to do so. Well, it’s been a long week everybody. Have a nicer weekend!”

According to reports in German media, the hackers focused their attack on the foreign ministry, which in the view of some lawmakers would suggest a foreign intelligence agency as the orchestrator of the hacking operation.

Good Enough For Government Work

A convicted murderer and RAF terrorist working for a representative of The Left party in the Bundestag?

Christian Klar

So what? Ain’t no big deal. Christian Klar is apparently more into web design these days so it’s time to let bygones be bygones. You know, like The Left party and its agitating world socialist friends over at the International Committee of the Fourth International have done?

His new boss, Dr. Diether Dehm, did, however, run into a bit of a snag trying to get Klar a security pass to enter the Bundestag as his personal guest – some revisionist imperialist a-hole over at the pass office turned down his request due to something he called Sicherheitsbedenken (security conserns), but you know the deal, folks. Left it up to your imagination. Where there’s a will there’s a way.

“Der Feind der Demokratie hat nichts im Herzstück der Demokratie zu suchen.”

Surprise Terrorist Attack Shuts Down German Bundestag But Nobody Seems To Care All That Much Really

Islamic terrorists disquised as construction crew workers for the Vattenfall power company plunged Berlin’s Bundestag into near total darkness and cluelessness (even more cluelessness than usual) after launching a successful surpise attack upon a power cable three meters below the earth at 09:00 this morning somewhere the-hell-if-I-know-where in Berlin Mitte.

Computers are down, toilets are out, Germany is tumbling leaderless through space and nobody anywhere around here gives a shit.

As one Bundestag representative reported: “We are unable to work.” “Yeah,” his neighbor replied. “And now the damned power is out too.”

The Vattenfall terrorists, realizing that their mission to put Germany in a panic has utterly failed, now say that they will have the power back up again around four this afternoon. Or manjana maybe. Mal sehen (see what happens).

“Wir sind arbeitsunfähig.”