I Would Rather Have Venezuela
Well received? “Berlin’s bid for UN Security Council seat was well received, but questions remain.”
I don’t have any questions. No way. Go with Venezuela. At least you know where the Venezuelans stand when it comes to the question of shouldering responsibility. They don’t stand there very well, of course, but at least you know where they stand. Germans just talk the talk. And don’t even get embarrassed when they get caught doing so.
Maas highlighted the fact that Germany is one of the largest UN contributors. He also expressed how grateful he was for the trust he felt was given to Germany at the UN, describing Berlin’s bid for a rotating Security Council seat as a way to try to give back some of the trust.
“We are shouldering responsibility already and we are prepared to shoulder responsibility in the future.”
Turkey
Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
Just in time for the Easter march, too!
German Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday Turkey’s military offensive in Syria’s northern town of Afrin was unacceptable and she criticized Russia for “just watching” the continuing attacks by Syrian forces on eastern Ghouta.
Obwohl die Bundesregierung die türkische Offensive in Afrin als “inakzeptabel” bezeichnet, genehmigte sie seit deren Beginn Rüstungsexporte in Millionenhöhe an die Türkei.
German Of The Day: Entschädigung
That means compensation.
Hey, what’s in a name, right? The sex site Pornhub has published a YouTube video in which it offers the Austrian town of Fucking – along with a few other towns also having interesting names (listed below) – lifetime free access to its content.
It’s called the Premium Places Program and is meant to help soothe the mental anguish these poor townsfolk must have to go through.
“Where were you born, son?” “You got married where?” “And just where is this cemetary located?”
“In Fucking, Austria, I said. You deaf or something?”
Auch La Vagina in Italien, Orgy in Frankreich, Rectum in den Niederlanden, Bitsch in der Schweiz (Kanton Wallis) und Cumming in den USA gehören unter anderem zu den auserwählten Orten.
Maybe The Germans Mean Business After All
When it comes to deporting asylum seekers who have been turned down here.
They actually just sent a plane with rejected asylum seekers to Afghanistan, for instance. And it was full, too. Full of cops and other German authorities, I mean. Only ten (10) Afghans were actually on the plane. You have to start somewhere, I guess. At this rate the bulk of those to be deported will have left the country by the time they meet retirement age.
Ein Sprecher des Bundesinnenministeriums teilte mit, an Bord seien zehn Passagiere gewesen. Mit insgesamt elf Sammelabschiebungen seit Dezember 2016 hat Deutschland damit 198 Männer nach Afghanistan zurückbringen lassen.
You Must Have Your Papers
This is Germany, after all. You can’t just leave the country without the proper paperwork.
That is why there are some 65,000 asylum seekers in Germany at the moment (this number will climb, of course) who have been turned down but who are nevertheless geduldet (tolerated, permitted to stay), can’t be deported because they don’t have the passports or travel documents needed to to be sent back home again – often enough to countries that don’t even want them back. What a mess.
This is Germany, like I said. The same 65,000+ didn’t need any paperwork to enter the country but they sure the hell better have some on their way out. Otherwise they’re in big trouble. And the Germans will make them stay. If I made this stuff up no one would believe me.
Die Zahl abgelehnter Asylbewerber und Migranten ohne Aufenthaltsrecht, die wegen fehlender Papiere nicht abgeschoben werden können, ist einem Medienbericht zufolge im vergangenen Jahr deutlich gestiegen.
German Of The Day: Notfall
That means emergency.
And in case of emergency (whatever that might mean at this point), the German City and Municipal Association (Städte- und Gemeindebund) has recommended to its members that they should refuse to accept any more refugees. These communities are already overwehlmed as it is.
Funny how associations like the German City and Municipal Association are always the last ones to figure things out like this. It has been my impression, and the impression of everybody else I know here, that German communities have been in a state of emergency since 2015.
Der Städte- und Gemeindebund hat die ungleiche Verteilung von Flüchtlingen auf die Kommunen kritisiert. Dadurch würde die Integration der Menschen behindert.
Gerda L.
A Life Sentence?
Nice try. A life sentence in Germany means fifteen years.
This is rather, well, lasch, don’t you think? That means feeble, listless, lame. And shameful, too.
An asylum seeker has been jailed for life for the rape and murder of a woman in Germany in a case that fuelled tensions over the influx of migrants.
Hussein Khavari, who claimed to be Afghan, admitted to attacking student Maria Ladenburger, 19, in October 2016 in the south-western city of Freiburg.
After his arrest, it emerged that he had already been convicted to 10 years in jail in Greece in 2014 for attempted murder after pushing a woman off a cliff. But he was freed in October 2015 due to overcrowded prisons.
He fled via Austria to Germany, where he arrived with no documents a month later, claiming he was 17 years old… But during the trial evidence emerged suggesting that he was in fact from Iran and could be as old as 32.
Ein Urteil, das die Gesellschaft stabilisiert.
German Of The Day: Länderfinanzausgleich
That’s a beauty, isn’t it? And it means “German Länder fiscal equalization scam.” I mean scheme.
And THAT means.. Well, think Robin Hood. The rich and therefore “bad” German states (the ones on the left in the image) must be punished for this and therefore the Robin Hoodlums in the Bundestag take some of their money and give it to the poor and therefore “good” German states (on the right side of the image). Berlin, on top, is actually on bottom, so-to-speak, being the poorest of the poor. The Robin Hoods and the Bundestag are located in Berlin, by the way. But that’s just a coincidence, of course.
The theory being, I’m assuming here, is that this kind of completely unjust robbery and redistribution will encourage the poor “good” German states to finally get their acts together already so the rich “bad” German states don’t have to pay their bills anymore. That’s just a theory, like I said, of mine. I must say, though, this redistribution initiative has certainly had a positive effect here in Berlin these past thirty, forty, fifty years. Once you ignore the fact that not a thing has changed.
Berlin Schlusslicht, Bayern Zahlmeister.
Observing Hermann 