Iran paranoid about Google now too

Not unlike German fears about privacy when it comes to Google’s eerie Street-View technology – while gladly developing and using Street-View-type products of their own – Iran’s freely elected government sort of is also frightened about privacy when it comes to one of Google’s other creepy technologies: eMail (and that’s e for evil). And yeah, of course I know that Google didn’t invent eMail. But still.

The Iranian powers that be (or powers that is, if you prefer) are clearly concerned about privacy matters here; keeping their own damned privacy as private as inhumanly possible, that is. Otherwise, everybody out there knows what the hell they’re up to, get it?

So now following the German example, word is out that the Iranians are actually planning to introduce a new eMail technology of their own. It’s code name is MMail, I think (GMail war gestern). Or Mullah-Mail, if you prefer.

Es ist einer der populärsten E-Mail-Dienste in Iran – doch nun will die Regierung Googles GMail-Service offenbar sperren lassen. Laut einem Bericht des “Wall Street Journal” soll stattdessen ein eigenes Mail-System aufgebaut werden.

Where’s my Kuchen?

I want to eat it too.

“If Berlin pursues this new stance*, the Center for European Reform report argues, it will allow Germany to have its cake and eat it. Germany would be contributing to President Barack Obama’s quest for nuclear disarmament, the report says, but could still rely on the NATO countries that deploy the remaining 180 U.S. weapons — Belgium, Italy, the Netherlands and Turkey — to provide it with a security umbrella.”

* Demanding that the remaining American nuclear missles be removed from Germany but still expect the protection of American nuclear weapons.

“Die letzten Nuklearwaffen in Deutschland sind ein Relikt des Kalten Kriegs. Sie haben keinen militärischen Sinn mehr.”

Germans? Hysterical about Google’s Street-View?

How you figure?

That German companies like the map manufacturer Tele Atlas or the small business Panogate (sightwalk.de) in Cologne do the same damned thing that Google does – make fotos of/in cities in order to publish them in the Internet and use them for navigation systems – that doesn’t matter here. What matters here is that a particularly awful and ominous “data octopus” is doing it.

Ob Microsoft (preview.local.live.com), der Kartenhersteller Tele Atlas oder das kleine Unternehmen Panogate (sightwalk.de) aus Köln, sie alle fotografieren systematisch die Städte dieser Welt – mal aus dem Flugzeug, mal aus dem Auto. Auch sie veröffentlichen diese Bilder im Internet oder nutzen sie für Navigationssysteme. Wenn sich die öffentliche Debatte nun auf Google konzentriert, dann wohl nur, weil sich mit diffusen Vorwürfen gegen den vermeintlichen “Datenkraken” leicht Ängste schüren lassen.

It’s quite simple, really. Germans, just like everybody else, really love angst. Only they love it here so much that they acually spell it with a capital A. You know, with an A like they use for Amerika (sorry, US-Amerika, of course).

Fast hysterisch wirken hingegen die Warnungen vor dem Verlust der Privatsphäre. Was ist damit gemeint? Die Privatsphäre der Hausfront? Google und Co. fotografieren grundsätzlich nur das, was jeder Fußgänger auf einer öffentlich zugänglichen Straße sieht.

Iran using tricks?

Really? Who would have thought that? After all these long years, I mean.

It must have been those tricky Avatar 3D glasses that finally tipped the Germans off.

Westerwelle told Deutschlandfunk radio that Iran would be judged by its actions and not by its words, and that only a serious return to negotiations would prevent further measures such as sanctions being imposed on the Islamic Republic.

A star is born

Actually, it’ll end up being around forty or so later this year. Not terribly original, the idea, but still.

Who needs Hollywood, huh? Marlene Dietrich will be the very first US-Amerikanerin star ever to be immortalised on the streets of her home town on a brand new “Walk of Fame” which will be unveiled during the Berlin film festival this coming week.

Ten stars will be awarded a star each year during the festival festivities from here on out, all with a link to Hollywood, I mean German culture.

Like walk the talk already.

Self-intrest rates sure are high in Europe these days

Well they sure are here in Germany (see Greece).

“Germany’s heavy reliance on exports has already been controversial on the international stage, in a similar way to the Western world’s growing frustration with China over its dominance in cheap exports.”

“We can’t go back to the era where the Chinese or the Germans or other countries just are selling everything to us; we’re taking out a bunch of credit card debt or home equity loans, but we’re not selling anything to them,” Obama said.

Privacy?

Ever see Father Knows Best? Well over here it’s the state that always knows best, especially when it comes to dealing in stolen goods.

If Big Bruder wants to buy stolen secret Swiss bank account data on 1,500 alleged tax evaders from an informant, that’s OK here (Germans have always had a Herz für Informanten – a warm spot in their hearts for informers), but with Google, let’s say, by virtue of its very success here in Germany – having reached a substantially larger market share here over its rival search engines than it has elsewhere – this very success places it under immediate suspicion. Informants aren’t even necessary. Privacy is automatically in danger.

And then Big Bruder’s lawmakers, regulators and consumer advocates will invariably come in to “fix it” (fix what isn’t broken), all in the name of privacy of course.

With Google, nobody’s dealing in stolen goods – or are they? No, that’s eBay. But in both cases, whether it’s about Swiss bank accounts or Google’s success, one always has to play it safe here. It’s always guilty until proven innocent. Father knows best.

Google’s border-straddling scale and its brash ambitions raise alarms with some European politicians.

Yogi and Ingo go home!

“Two German diplomats using the fictitious names of Yogi and Ingo were arrested” in Iran, Iran state television has announced.

No, not for using fictitious names (their real names are Yogi and Boo-Boo, I guess), for having had a hand in violent and deadly anti-government protests which broke out on a Shiite Muslim holy day December 27th last month.

Germans? Germans involved in violent and deadly anti-government protests? In Iran? Go figure. They don’t even protest violently or deadly when they have revolutions here, in Germany, much less during other folks’ anti-government protests far away im Ausland (overseas).

So like send them home immediately or something, Islamic Republic of Iran. The nerve.

“No German diplomats were arrested on December 27 last year,” German foreign ministry spokesman Andreas Peschke told a Berlin news conference.

Germany’s turn?

As everybody knows, everything that “goes wrong” in Iran is a direct result of actions carried out by outside provocateurs (the United States and Britain, in other words).

But in a refreshing new turn of events, Iranian officials are now slapping around Germany for once. Germany, of all nations.

No one knows why for sure, of course, but some speculate that “The accusations followed stronger statements against Iran’s nuclear program by German officials, including Chancellor Angela Merkel, who raised the specter of new international sanctions against Iran, and an announcement on Tuesday by the Munich-based engineering giant Siemens that it would seek no new business there.”

Damn. And that’s for just raising a specter, or maybe two. What would happen if the German government ever actually “did” anything to Iran? You know, other than sell them things, I mean.

Wir waren es nicht. Yogi und Ingo sind es gewesen.