We’re Helping Greece To Help Ourselves

March 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, High Art, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Interest, Lending Leave a comment

It’s undeniable that Germany has great interest in helping Greece. Why just look at the great interest they’re getting back by doing so.

Despite all the perpetual bitching and moaning about having to foot the bailout bill for their bankrupt buddies in the bottomless pit, German tax payers raked in some 380 million euros on Greek aid interest payments in 2011 and are likely to pull in a whole lot more this year. It’s good to be the king, I mean lender.

Geez. With generosity like this, who needs extortion?

Im Rahmen des ersten Griechenland-Hilfspakets hat die Bundesrepublik dem Euro-Partner Darlehen von insgesamt 15,17 Milliarden Euro gewährt, um das Land vor der Pleite zu retten. Der Zinssatz habe zwischen 3,423 und 4,528 Prozent gelegen.

Thanks But No Thanks

February 29, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Tax Collectors, Taxation, Taxes, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, The Financial Crisis Leave a comment

Undank ist der Welten Lohn (nothing is so hard as man’s ingratitude).

What were you expecting, Germany? The Greeks have politely but firmly said no to a recent offer made by 160 German tax collectors who were ready, willing and able to fly down to Greece and help their Greek tax collector buddies gather Greek taxes in a more efficient and Teutonic-like manner.

The Greeks may be broke, but they’re not crazy. Not even Germans can stand German tax collectors

Als Begründung müssen die “hart arbeitenden griechischen Beamten” herhalten.

“Tax Advice Mission” Impossible

February 26, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, Financial Criis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, Satire, Taxation, Taxes 1 Comment

How about a little more sensitivity here, Greece? Germans are only trying to help.

And it doesn’t look like they’re going to stop trying to help you anytime soon, either. That’s why if they can’t get that “budget commissioner” they proposed to help monitor the Greek government’s (lack of) management of its finances, some 160 German tax collectors have now selflessly volunteered for assignments in Greece to help gather Greek taxes more efficiently. And as you can imagine, when it comes to taxation and tax collection, German efficiency can really hurt.

A recent flurry of acrimonious exchanges between Athens and Berlin reflect deepening doubts among mainly northern members of the 17-nation euro zone about Greece’s ability and willingness to overhaul its economy to satisfy lenders’ demands.

Those No Good Greek Tax Evaders!

January 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, Satire, Tax evasion, Taxes, The Euro Crisis Leave a comment

Greece’s finance ministry has named 4,152 individuals as major tax dodgers that owe the state a combined 14.9 billion euros in unpaid back taxes as part of a campaign to name and shame tax evaders.

And Germany is empört (indignant), as usual. The interesting thing about the list though are some of the Greek names, I find. These are names like Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. They almost sound like, I dunno, like German names. But that can’t be. Germans don’t evade taxes, right? Not unless they live in Greece, they don’t.

Einige der Namen klingen für hiesige Ohren seltsam vertraut: Namen wie Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. Schulden Deutsche den Griechen Geld?

This Just In: Britain Distrusts Germany

December 20, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, History Tags: Berlin, Britain, EU, Euro Crisis, Europe, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, UK Leave a comment

Wow, talk about a news item.

This must be the scoop of the century. Are Woodward and Bernstein back? Did the CIA finally do something right? Where on earth do Spiegel journalists uncover such unexpected and volatile information?

Always remember, folks: If it’s not in the Spiegel, it didn’t happen.

“Welcome to the Fourth Reich”

A Fistful Of Euros…

December 14, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Currency, Dollar, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany 1 Comment

Won’t buy you what it used to.

Remember when the (place your favorite currency here) used to be worth something? I guess it’s the euro’s turn now. Hey, what goes up must come down, right? There must be something going on in the euro zone these days or something.

Die Gemeinschaftswährung sank am Mittwoch erstmals sei Mitte Januar unter die Marke von 1,30 Dollar. Am späten Nachmittag wurde der Euro bei 1,2988 Dollar gehandelt.

United We Fall, Divided We Stand

November 29, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Europe, Financial crisis, Germany, Humor, Satire 3 Comments

Women and children first! No offense there, Nicolas.

It looks like Germany and France may have had enough of broke weeny Europeans (other than themselves) already and now appear to be planning a secret and very “exlusive stability pact” just for the crème de la crème of ze Europe. You know, for that handful of European countries that can still pay their debts, maybe. But don’t tell anybody yet. This is still a secret, like I said.

Deutschland und Frankreich sind nicht mehr gewillt, auf eine Einigung aller EU-Länder zu warten. Notfalls wären sie bereit, mit einigen Ländern voranzugehen und so innerhalb der Währungszone eine Art Klub der Super-Europäer zu gründen, deren Mitglieder sich strengen Sparauflagen unterwerfen.

Or Maybe It Does Stink (Our Debt)

November 23, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Debt, Debt Crisis, EU, Euro Crisis, Euro Zone, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire Leave a comment

What, me worry?

The German debt agency was forced to retain almost half of a sale of 6 billion euros due to a shortage of bids by investors, sparking fears that Europe’s debt crisis is now even starting to threaten Berlin.

The German government is still resisting calls (from France and elsewhere) to allow the ECB to act more decisively.

“It is a complete and utter disaster,” one financial expert dude in London said. “And everybody has hurt feelings,” I replied. “And that’s the main thing.”

It’s starting to get ugly, folks, in other words. Uh, are we having a panic yet?

“The debt crisis is burrowing ever deeper, like a worm, and is now reaching Germany.”

Our Debt Doesn’t Stink

November 22, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Debt, Debt Crisis, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire Leave a comment

I got your role model for you right here. Do as we say, folks. Not as we do.

So far the German government has based its budget forecasts solely on the presumption of strong economic development.

What Do You Mean You Won’t Buy Our Stuff Anymore?

November 21, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy Tags: Berlin, Dept, Economy, EU, Euro, Euro Crisis, Exports, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany 1 Comment

Europe’s largest economy, may slow to a near standstill next year as the region’s debt crisis saps demand for exports.

You know that scene in Austin Powers when Dr. Evil says an evil funny and he and his evil cronies start laughing loudly in a sinister fashion and just laugh and laugh and laugh and then finally stop laughing because, well, you just can’t keep on laughing like that forever, no matter how evil the joke?

Well it’s the same thing with German Schadenfreude about being fein raus (off the hook) and everybody else out there doing the suffering, economically speaking. You can only enjoy that Schadenfreude for so long, folks. So like export a few more good chuckles out of this while you can.

“The global economic recession triggered by the international financial crisis will be long-term.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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