Is This The Beginning Of The End?

Or the end of the beginning? Or just the start of the next big ugly mess – once Putin turns the gas off.

Germany: G7 rejects Russia’s demand to pay for gas in rubles – The Group of Seven major economies have agreed to reject Moscow’s demand to pay for Russian natural gas exports in rubles.

Payment in ruble is not acceptable, and we will urge the companies affected not to follow (Russian President Vladimir) Putin’s demand.”

Well, We’ve All Been Wanting To Lose Weight Anyway

Always look on the bright side of Russian invasions – of one of the world’s top wheat exporters.

Germany to host G7 meeting on Ukraine invasion’s impact on food security – Germany will host a virtual meeting of agricultural ministers from G7 countries on Friday to discuss the impact of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine on global food security and how to best stabilize food markets, the government said.

“The provision of foodstuffs in Germany and the European Union is safe but greater shortages can be expected in some countries outside the EU – especially where scarcity already reigns today due to issues like drought,” German Agriculture Minister Cem Oezdemir said in statement.

“Price hikes for agricultural products cannot be excluded in industrialized nations either.”

Donald Trump Threatens Germany With Visit

Clearly worried about his health after confiding to Angela Merkel  during G7 talks that he “has German in his blood,” President Donald Trump announced that he will be coming to Germany “very soon.”

Trump

To seek medical attention, I assume. German doctors probably know best when it comes to getting  “German” out of the bloodstream and why take any chances with a threatening ailment like this.

Let’s just hope it won’t be too late because worrying signs of the blood illness appeared during said talks when Trump grew delirious and called Merkel “a brilliant woman” at one point.

“Ich habe Deutsches in meinem Blut.”

This Is Like Work Or Something

Exhausted from all of the political activism activity anti-G7 political activists have been expected to do already, bone-weary protestors are now leaving the G7 conference in droves before someone asks them to get even more politically active than they already have been.

Demonstrators

“Like, I had to sit-in for over two full hours yesterday and hold up this stupid sign the whole time, too,” said one disillusioned demonstrator, his red cardboard nose still being sweat upon profusely. “OK, sure, after having slept-in twelve hours after that party the night before first, but still. If I had known this was going to be work I would never have left Berlin to come down here in the first place. These are like Manchester capitalist sweatshop demonstrating conditions! I’m outta here.”

“You know, all of this, it’s exhausting.”

Bavarian Codebreaker Needed

Not everybody can speak this lingo. I assume it has something to do with the G7 demonstration festivities going on in Elmau, Germany right now but I can’t say for sure.

I am also assuming here that “Yes Mia Spuin” must be in honor of Obama’s visit and can only mean “yes, we can.” The guy with his face all up in the camera has sure got me stumped, however.

Dorf empfängt Obama mit Alphörnern und Weißwurst

Stop TTIP! Save The Climate! Fight Poverty!

And while you’re at it down there, folks… Faster horses! Younger women! Older whiskey! And more money!

Elmau

It’s time to gear up for G7 demonstration time. Jeepers creepers. This is going to be like Blockupy, Burning Man and Woodstock all rolled up into one! And to really give that special psychedelic touch, let’s do it in German.

The main demonstration was due to kick off at 1200 GMT in the state capital Munich, around 100 kilometres (60 miles) north of the Alpine venue where Chancellor Angela Merkel is to welcome leaders from the club of rich nations from Sunday.

Stop G7 Elmau!