Remember when climate change conferences used to be exciting?

What happened to the all the panic, recriminations and chaos? Nobody seemed to have even noticed this last one in Bonn. This latest climate conference, I mean.

I remember when this used to be a life or death matter. Now it’s just a deathly boring one. Now we even have to find “reasons to be cheerful about climate change talks.”

Hearing that type of thing certainly cheers me up. And I just can’t wait for the next climate change conference to come around. So I won’t.

“It also remained unclear if the document would be accepted as an official negotiating text for further talks leading up to the U.N. climate summit in Cancun, Mexico, at the end of this year.”

Work, work, work…

While watching World Cup at work, work, work.

You got to set your priorities, I guess. And when it comes to the soccer (some say football) World Cup starting this weekend, Germans have clearly set theirs. Even the head of the national employers’ association believes his countrymen should be allowed to watch the World Cup on television at work without getting into trouble with their superiors.

This is a sensible thing to say, I think, because they’re going to be watching it one way or the other anyway.

“Watching soccer together encourages team cohesion and staff motivation.”

Unfair?

The German education system? Hell yeah, it’s unfair. Only one in ten immigrant children ever make it the Abitur (the general qualification for university entrance).

But that’s not all that bad an average really, if you stop and think about it. Only one in three Germans ever make it that far either. Like I said, unfair.

Bei lediglich 2,9 Prozent der Studenten in Deutschland handle es sich um Ausländer, die in Deutschland Abitur gemacht haben.

Go for the Gauck

Grassroots political activism in action – again.

Not particularly interested in Christian Wulff, the presidential candidate the current ruling coalation is pushing through, German internet activists are activating the Internet for Mr. No Chance in Hell Joachim Gauck instead.

More power to ya, folks, but he’s just too impartial and unconnected and doesn’t have a chance, like I said. But hey, do the right thing. You never know. Like the German saying goes: You don’t have a chance, so use it.

“Gauck has a rich life story shaped by the Cold War. At the age of 11, his father was arrested by communist authorities and sent to the Gulag in Siberia. After the Berlin Wall fell, Gauck ran the state-run archives on the Stasi, earning recognition for exposing the crimes of the dreaded East German secret police.”

What, me worry?

When it comes to fussing and worrying, one country in Europe stands out far ahead of all the others. No, not Monaco.

It’s Germany, of course. Statistically speaking, Germans have on average 3.2 worries to worry about each and every day. The French and the Austrians are worried too, but they’ve only got 2.3 worries available.

The Swedes only have 1.1. And I bet 1.0 of those is worrying about the bottle not running out. Hardy, har, har.

„Auffällig ist dieses Jahr, dass die Zahl der Sorgen, die genannt werden, praktisch explodiert.“

Speaking of German cars…

Americans sure like buying them – again. Germans aren’t all that interested in them anymore, though (no more cash-for-clunkers).

Orders abroad are up 22 percent in May compared to a year earlier – with China and the United States providing the demand. We’ve been through this before, haven’t we (and again and again)?

“Die Bedeutung des US-Marktes nimmt wieder zu.”

Lena for president?

Why not? The job’s available now and everybody likes her enough.

And then there’s that touchy question about the enormous cost for next year’s Eurovision to be held here in Germany. It could be taken over by the state, see? You know, like a broadcasting bailout?

Each year the winning county is required to host the following year’s grand finale.

This is Germany

Huh?

Germany’s President Horst Koehler has thrown in the towel for getting heat about having said this:

“In my view, however, I think our society is on the right path to fully understanding that a country of our size, export-oriented as it is, and therefore dependent upon foreign trade… In a country like ours we must also know that in doubt, in an emergency, military intervention will also be necessary to protect our interests. To keep free trade routes open, for instance, to prevent regional instability, for example, these are things that would otherwise have a definite negative effect upon our trade, our jobs and our income. Everything should be open for discussion here, and I believe that we are making good progress to that end.”

My, how scandalous. How could the pacifist citizens of the world’s third largest weapons exporting nation possibly take such shocking and unsavoury presidential provocations like this sitting down? They couldn’t take it sitting down, of course, so Horst had to step down.

This is just too ridiculous for me. Somebody please tell me what I missed here.