OK, OK. The German Pope dude actually was a Pope but he did that typical German Frührente (early retirement) thing that Popes don’t normally do so technically speaking you could be a real devil advocating jerk if you wanted to be and claim that the guy never was a real Pope in the first place (and no, of course I’m not Catholic and yes, I clearly don’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about here – except for that Frührente part).
As for the Cardinal dude, I think he looked rather convincing while hanging out with several unsuspecting eminences in Rome the other day. Except for the sneakers he was wearing, maybe. And his crucifix, which was too short, or so I’m told. And his sash turned out to be just a purple scarf. But still. The Cardinal question here is, well, is not having a life something you can actually make your living at?
He was thrown out by the Swiss Guard after someone noticed his crucifix was too short and his sash was just a purple scarf.