Tourists Can’t Destroy Berlin

“How Tourists Are Destroying the Places They Love,” a recent Spiegel article title goes. Well, if they love Berlin they’re in for a way big disappointment. Everything here is already kaputt.

Tourists

Nothing like putting a refreshing, positive German spin on things, I always say. Go Spiegel! And I guarantee you: The average Spiegel employee goes on vacation three times a year.

Predatory Modern Tourism…

The travel industry has begun recognizing that its own success is increasingly undermining the foundation of its business model. “Overtourism” is the buzzword currently dominating industry conferences. Discussions are taking place about how tourist flows can be directed such that they will no longer be perceived as a threat.

“Tourist Go Home!”

It’s Time To Get Outer Ear

Boy oh boy. Drunken tourists these days (this story is really earie, folks).

Ear

Berlin police say a 43-year-old Norwegian tourist is in custody after biting off part of the ear of a man who tried to break up a fight between him and a dark-skinned German passenger he’d allegedly taunted as being a terrorist.

Police said Monday the intoxicated tourist started the fight Sunday night on a regional train in Berlin, accusing the other passenger in English of being a terrorist and asking if he had a bomb.

I guess they’re going to charge him with a misdemeanear now. And why the hell didn’t the train’s enginear step in?

Tourist beißt Streitschlichter einen Teil des Ohrs ab.

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

“I always knew that German tourists were a laugh a minute but this number here nearly KILLED me!”

Stunt

Five young German women were arrested after a flash mob stunt at a Spanish resort sparked a terror alert, police said Wednesday (Aug 3).

The five caused a stampede in Platja d’Aro in the northeastern region of Catalonia late Tuesday when one of them pretended to be a celebrity and the rest chased after her, whooping and screaming as they tried to snap her paparazzi-style…

Eleven people needed treatment for bruising and panic attacks.

The stunt occurred on the heels of an assault in the French Riviera resort of Nice on July 14 in which a man killed 84 people by ramming them with a truck.

Angeblich sollte dabei die Verfolgungsjagd eines Prominenten durch Paparazzi simuliert werden.

German Of The Day: Selbstmord

That means suicide. You could translate this literally as meaning self-murder. Or as the kids these days probably prefer to say, selfie-murder.

Selfie

German tourist at Machu Picchu plunges 100m to his death ‘after selfie goes wrong

Der 51 Jahre alte Mann, dessen Name mit Oliver P. angegeben wurde, war offenbar über eine Sicherheitsabsperrung geklettert, um zu fotografieren.

Germans So Shocked By Greek No They Decide To Go On Big Fat Greek Vacation

Stunned by the Greek no yesterday and the end of European civilization as they know it, millions and millions of German tourists have spontaneously decided to get their minds off it all by going on vacation to Greece again this year, just like the millions and millions of other Germans who did the same thing last year.

Tourists

Not that it matters anymore or anything, but tourism used to account for 18 percent of what used to be the Greek economy.

“We are still taking bookings for Greece and there is no change in the levels.”

Welcome To The Hotel Kalimera

You can checkout any time you like. But you can never leave.

Tourists

Are German tourists still welcome in crisis-battered Greece? “Definitely!” insists the travel board of Europe’s top economy, which nevertheless issued a few words of caution Thursday.

Protracted talks on Greece’s debt crisis may have driven up tensions with Europe’s paymaster Germany but visitors can still count on a warm reception, the German Travel Association (DRV) said.

But what if Greece should default on its loans, exit the eurozone and reintroduce the drachma? Fear not, the DRV said. “There would only be a limited impact on holidaymakers, particularly those on package tours. Flights, hotel stays and bus transfers are bought and covered by contracts.”

Spare The Cane And Spoil The Child

I mean the German tourist. Huh? What do you mean punishment, officer? All we did was break into a train depot and spray graffiti on some trains. In freakin’ Singapore!

Graffiti

A Singapore court has sentenced two German men to three strokes of the cane for spray-painting a metro train in the city-state notorious for its hardline rules on vandalism.

Nach deutschen Maßstäben ist das Urteil sicherlich hart, insbesondere die Prügelstrafe, die in unserem Kulturkreis ja schon lange nicht mehr angewendet wird.“

Maul Of Berlin

It’s a gallery… It’s a shopping center…  It’s the Super-Mall (of Berlin)!

Mall of Berlin

Oh boy, another mall. I’m outta here (not).

A gigantic German department store, rebuilt in the heart of Berlin on the rubble of a shopping center seized by the Nazis, was opened on Thursday with a ceremony paying tribute to its original Jewish owners.

The near 1 billion euro ($1.3 billion) “Mall of Berlin” — an entire quarter with a glass-covered arcade, 270 shops, a hotel and flats — marks the spot where the Wertheim store was built in 1896.

I Think I’ve Been In This Guy’s Cab

This Berliner taxi driver just got three years in jail. Damn. That’s more than most murderers get here. Although he was making quite a killing, if you think about it.

Taxi

On his good days he took in 300 euros for a ten kilometer drive, milking clueless tourists he picked up at the airport. Jiminy crickets. And he managed to do this without a gun?

Fast 300 Euro für zehn Kilometer: Ein Berliner Taxifahrer stand am Flughafen abseits des offiziellen Halteplatzes für Taxis und passte ahnungslose Touristen aus aller Welt ab.