Tag Archives: World Cup

The shocking thing is that…

September 5, 2025 By in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

It’s not really shocking anymore.

Germany suffer shock World Cup qualifying loss to Slovakia – Germany’s 2026 World Cup qualifying campaign got off to a disastrous start as they suffered a deserved 2-0 defeat to Slovakia. Furious head coach Julian Nagelsmann questioned his team’s mentality.

Germany’s journey to the 2026 World Cup in the USA, Mexico and Canada got off to the worst possible start as Julian Nagelsmann’s team suffered a deserved 2-0 defeat to Slovakia in Bratislava.

Nearly three months after the disappointment of the Nations League, Germany looked out of shape and sorts. They had never lost a World Cup qualifier away from home before tonight. History had been made, but not the kind that Nagelsmann wanted.

Most Stupid Empty Political Gesture For 2022 Yet?

November 25, 2022 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hideology, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

I thought pouting about their dopey armband was embarrassing enough. But, you know, this here definitely takes the Kuchen.

At least now we know why Germany lost against Japan in their opener. There’s no way you can properly play sports while holding your hand in front of your mouth like that. Not even soccer.

Germany players cover mouths in protest against FIFA clampdown on free speech in ‘OneLove’ armband row.

It was a moment so brief that the thousands of fans inside the Khalifa International Stadium on Wednesday could easily have missed it.

Unfortunately for you, I am now sharing that moment with you.

My Pope Can Beat Up Your Pope

July 13, 2014 By in Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Germans everywhere seem to be particularly nervous today for some reason. Somebody told me  it might have something to do with soccer. And Argentina.

Nervous

I’d be nervous then, too. Each team has a pope in the corner.

My the best pope win.

For the first time ever, the two teams facing each other in the World Cup final will each have a living pope in their corner: Pope Francis’ Argentina against Pope Emeritus Benedict’s Germany.

Germans Wrestling With Unresolvable Guilt After Annihilating Brazil

July 9, 2014 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

After a devastating 7-1 victory over Brazil, and with World Cup domination possibly just one small step around the corner, Germans everywhere have instinctively begun flagellating themselves with guilt and remorse in a futile attempt to come to grips with the responsibility they feel for the soccer atrocities committed in their name last night.

Soccer

“4-0 would have been enough,” a spokesman for the shamed German people said.

“This victory is too high,” another disturbed German tweeted. “Shame. Compassion for humiliated opponent. Quickly to bed.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel caught the mood with typical understatement. “I think it almost deserves the name ‘historic,” she said.

With Victories Like This You Don’t Need Any Defeats

July 1, 2014 By in Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Ende gut, alles gut. All’s well that ends well. But the Germans sure didn’t look like they were feeling very well while playing Algeria yesterday.

Algeria

Would you rather we played beautiful football but got knocked out?

PS: Good luck with Belgium, OOZA!

Germany’s Germans Better Than Amerika’s Germans

June 29, 2014 By in High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Germans Say. Those soccer playing German-American Germans on the American team, I mean. The German-German Germans are more German-like or something. Gee, I never really thought about that before but that really makes sense.

Football

And that’s why they just had to win last Thursday. And did, of course. But we should gönne (grant) them that and not begrudge them just because we as “Americans want to win everything.” Real Germans don’t want to win everything, I can only assume, and therefore the least the rest of us as in U.S. (and the rest of the world) can do is to finally let them win the World Cup for once already for crying out loud. Or for the third or fourth time now, I forget.

“The US has everything. Hollywood, money, weapons, let us have at least football.”