German Energy Policy Has Led To A Dead End

The Germans were just too dead set on renewable energy, I guess.

A brain dead policy, if you ask me. Better dead than red (I mean green), I always say. If you push this renewable energy nonsense too far you’ll always come in dead last, energy-wise. Not having even enough energy to cremate your dead is a dead giveaway for how this green utopian dream world of theirs can be seen for what it really is: Dead and buried.

‘You Can’t Switch off Death,’ German Crematorium Boss Warns as Energy Crisis Looms – As Western sanctions heighten tensions between Europe and Moscow, the whole nation is on alert for a possible cut-off of supply by Russian state gas giant Gazprom.

Businesses, including crematoriums, are developing contingency plans to cope with rising gas costs and the risk it is unavailable at any price.

Lothar Matthäus Claims He Isn’t Really Dead

After bringing by an ärztliches Attest (doctor’s certificate) certifying that he is “in fact like really and truly actually still alive,” ex-soccer star Lothar Matthäus has received an official apology from the otherwise infallibel Deutsche Post for returning a letter addressed to him from his ex-wife as unzustellbar (undeliverable) due to his being, well, like verstorben (deceased) already.

Lothar

“Look, I’ve been dead for my ex-wife for years now, but this is taking it a little over the top, don’t you think?” the living and breathing Promi (celebrity, sort of) said, still alive and kicking.

Weil ein Brief seiner Ex-Frau Liliana nicht zugestellt werden konnte, wird der 52-Jährige kurzerhand für tot erklärt.