Thank Goodness We Have Experts

Otherwise we dummies down here in the street would have never, ever in a million years been able to figure out that the spike in violent crime in Lower Saxony is directly related to the arrival of migrants there.

Crime

And thank goodness this is only the case in Lower Saxony, right?

The German state of Lower Saxony witnessed a 10.4 percent increase in crime at the height of the migration crisis, according to a study. The study’s authors said age and reporting practices factored into the connection…

According to the study, which was conducted by the Zurich University of Applied Sciences and paid for by Germany’s Ministry of Family Affairs, police witnessed an increase of 10.4 percent in reported violent crimes in 2015 and 2016. More than 90 percent of the increase (not of total violent crimes) was said to be attributable to migrants.

I know, I know. How distasteful. How can they be allowed to publish studies like that? Couldn’t somebody censor them or something?

Wissenschaftler haben die Gewaltkriminalität von Flüchtlingen am Beispiel Niedersachsens untersucht. Sie rechnen fast jede achte Gewalttat einem Asylsuchenden zu.

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Our Facts Are The Facts

Post-factual world or not. And our truth is the truth, too. That’s how everybody else in the world out there – like us – sees it, right?

Facts

So truth be told, the fact is that, well, it is what we tell you it is, regardless of how you feel about it. So stop getting all emotional about things and just accept our facts as the truth and vice versa and, like, go with the flow already. Your eyelids are now getting heavy, by the way. Very heavy. You can only resist for so long. Honest. It’s a fact.

Asked about the rape-murder of a German student allegedly committed by a teenage Afghan asylum seeker and the recent arrest of a 31-year-old Iraqi asylum seeker over the sexual assaults of two Chinese students, Merkel urged Germans to stick to the known facts.