Germany Also Wants Unicorns, Candy Hearts And Free Beer For All

Germany wants clean, reliable energy. But first, to survive winter…

Germany is largely dependent on Russian energy, with half its natural gas and a third of its oil coming from that country. There’s currently no other way to quickly secure Europe’s supply of energy for heating, transportation, and industry, says the German government. But they’re trying. Leaders have decided to build liquefied natural gas terminals, which opens up new energy supplies but also raises a bevy of questions about Germany’s energy security.

Nuclear energy has been phased out, and renewables such as wind aren’t yet ready to pick up the slack, so lawmakers have decided that LNG is the answer to Germany’s energy crisis. They’ve announced plans to build two domestic LNG terminals, which re-gasify the supercooled form of natural gas that arrives on ships. Leasing floating terminals and securing supply via terminals elsewhere in Europe is also in the works. Essentially, Germany is trying to buy whatever it can, from wherever it can.

What’s A Little White Lie Here And There?

I meant Green lie, of course.

And over there. And over there too. Damn. Little Green lies all over the place. Actually, they’re not all that little either.

German Government Lied About Nuclear – Germany’s Economy and Climate Minister, a Green Party leader, lied about nuclear fuel rods.

The German government is moving forward with plans to close its last three nuclear plants this December despite Europe being gripped by the worst energy crisis in 50 years. Robert Habeck, Germany’s Vice Chancellor and Federal Minister for Economic Affairs and Climate Action, said there is no point in operating them because Germany lacks natural gas, not electricity.

“Nuclear power doesn’t help us there at all,” Habeck said on Tuesday. “We have a heating problem or an industry problem, but not an electricity problem — at least not generally throughout the country.”

Besides, Habeck said, only Russia could provide Germany with the uranium fuel rods required to keep the nuclear plants operating, and there was no way to make sure the plants would be able to operate safely.

But none of what Habeck said was true. Coal, natural gas, and nuclear energy all generate electricity. Less nuclear means using more of coal or natural gas, which is why the German Cabinet, led by Habeck, just approved burning more coal…

German Of The Day: Implodieren

That means to implode or implosion.

Germany’s Nuclear-Power Implosion – The eco-left eschews reliable, clean power in an energy crisis in favor of coal and hope.

Europe’s climate obsessions have led to an energy crisis, and who would have thought the Germans would choose to make it worse. That’s what happened last Thursday when the Bundestag voted to shut down the country’s remaining nuclear power plants by the end of the year.

It’s A Dogma Eat Dogma World

So the answer is no. Dutch earthquakes or not.

Dutch Ask If German Nuclear Plants May Stay Open Amid Gas Crisis – The Netherlands has asked Germany to consider keeping its nuclear power plants open, but admitted the chances of that happening are slim.

“I just asked them if it’s technically possible to keep the nuclear power plants open,” Jetten said in an interview on Wednesday in The Hague, referring to his meeting with Habeck. “They’ve already taken so many measures to shut them down and there’s probably not enough fuel to keep them open a bit longer.”

The Netherlands could extract an extra 50 billion cubic meters of gas each year from its Groningen field. Yet Dutch authorities — wary of earthquakes triggered by drilling, which have damaged cities — have repeatedly said they plan to wind down production and will only increase output as a last resort. 

German Of The Day: Staatshilfe

That means state support or government assistence. And that means, of course, taxpayer money.

And this is ususally needed, as in this case, after the state and/or government burning the taxpayer money got the company that needs it into this situation in the first place (see “renewable energy”).

Germany in bailout talks with Uniper amid gas crisis – Germany’s Uniper (UN01.DE) is in talks about a possible government bailout as the financial fallout from dwindling supplies of Russian gas reverberates across Europe, sending shares in the energy company sliding.

German Of The Day: Verbot

That means ban. The only thing the German Green party does well. And they do it with vehemence. And constantly.

Germany to support EU plans for 2035 ban on new fossil-fuel cars, says environment minister – Germany plans to vote in support of a European Union package that would effectively ban the sale of new cars with combustion engines from 2035, said the environment minister on Tuesday.

“If the package includes what the Commission suggested, banning cars that emit carbon dioxide from 2035, then we will vote in support,” Environment Minister Steffi Lemke told broadcaster ZDF.

Finance Minister Christian Lindner (FDP) said at an event hosted by Germany’s BDI industry association last week that the German government would not agree to the plan.

We’ll Just Jump Straight To Phase 3 Instead

Sheer panic.

Ministry denies Germany set to declare Phase 2 of emergency gas plan.

This economic minister belongs to a political party (the Greens) that won’t even consider the possibility – under Germany’s present catastrophic, self-inflicted energy situation – of extending the lives of Germany’s three remaining nuclear power plants past the end of this year. Thank goodness this has nothing to do with ideology and ideologues. He’s just from the government and he’s here to help.

Germany declared the first phase of the emergency plan on March 30, calling for crisis team meetings of energy suppliers, operators and government authorities to assess the energy security situation for Europe’s biggest economy.

In the second alert phase, the market would still be expected to handle the disruption without government market intervention.

What’s 40%?

“We’ll just build some more of those solar windmill thingies to compensate and make Germany greener than ever,” an unnamed German Green government minister said. “The rest of the world really marvels at our green energy utopia here, you know,” he added. “They’re like totally green with envy.”

Russia‘s announcement that it would reduce natural gas flows through a key European pipeline by roughly 40% appears to be a political move rather than a result of technical problems, Germany’s vice chancellor said Wednesday.

The reduced flows follow Russia‘s halt of natural gas supplies to Bulgaria, Poland, Finland, Netherlands, Denmark as Europe works to reduce its dependence on Russian energy amid the war in Ukraine. Gas demand has fallen after the end of the winter heating season, but European utilities are racing to refill storage ahead of next winter with prices high and supplies uncertain.

Electric Car Man Bad

He’s bringing more jobs to us here in Germany.

When will the horror ever end?

Tesla Submits Application to Expand German Plant – Tesla has submitted an application to build on a further 100 hectares east of its plant in Germany, expanding the site’s area by a third, local newspaper rbb reported on Thursday, citing the local mayor.

The electric carmaker, which already has 300 hectares of land for its auto factory and battery plant under construction, planned to build a freight station, logistics areas and parking spaces on the additional space, Gruenheide mayor Arne Christiani told RBB.

Germany’s Coal Doesn’t Stink

That’s because it’s Green Coal. No, not Grünkohl. That’s kale.

Anyway, Germany’s Green Utopia will soon be here, no matter what. Just ask Germany’s Green Economy Minister. Of course, it might take a little longer than the Greens originally planned, but still.

Germany to Bring Back Coal Power Plants If Russia Cuts Gas – Germany plans to bring back coal- and oil-fired power plants should Russia cut off natural gas shipments to Europe’s largest economy.

Economy Minister Robert Habeck will on Tuesday present an emergency decree enabling the government to bring back the facilities in case of gas shortages, according to the proposed legislation seen by Bloomberg.