Leaderless in Seattle

August 10, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness Tags: Berlin, Debt Crisis, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Obama, Satire 1 Comment

No, I mean in Europe.

Gee, this sounds just like back home. The president of the Federal Association of German Banks has strongly criticized European leaders in general and German leaders in particular for their lack of leadership in all things debt crisis.

They just let things drift along and then get driven themselves, he says. Like I said, just like back home.

“If the euro really does end up in trouble then it won’t be because of Greece, the EU’s weakest member. The monetary union will then fail because Germany, its strongest member, won’t fulfill its leadership role and says what needs to be done.”

“Wenn der Euro tatsächlich Probleme bekäme, dann nicht wegen Griechenland, dem schwächsten Mitglied. Die Währungsunion würde dann scheitern, wenn Deutschland als stärkstes Mitglied seiner Führungsrolle nicht gerecht wird und sagt, wo es lang geht.”

PS: Speaking of leadership, or the lack of it, the yes we cans seem to be dropping like flies these days.

RWE Jobs Next

August 9, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire Leave a comment

German utility RWE AG (RWE.XE) Tuesday said it swung to a net loss in the second quarter of 2011, driven mainly by additional costs related to Germany’s decision to exit nuclear energy by 2022 and a tax on nuclear fuel.

The early closure of reactors also resulted in an earnings shortfall, because RWE sold forward the electricity that should have been produced in its two shuttered reactors. To meet its supply obligations the company now has to produce that electricity in more expensive plants or buy power on the market, both of which hurts generation margins.

Bad Jobs Must Go

August 6, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Employment, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire 1 Comment

Wow. Even the Brave New Non-Nuclear World (in Germany) demands its tribute.

10,000 jobs at Germany’s energy giant Eon will have to go, for instance. But these folks will gladly take on this burden because its what “the people” want. Unfortunately, only about one third of those gladly taking on the burden will be German employees, but you can bet that there will be further opportunites for them to excel in the very near brave new future.

Das sind mehr als zehn Prozent der gesamten Belegschaft. Damit würde der Sparkurs des Konzerns viel härter ausfallen als bisher bekannt.

Everything Is So Wunderbar Here

August 3, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy Tags: Berlin, Employment, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Jobs, Satire, Work Leave a comment

When it comes to the German economy and the jobs here, right?

Right. Sort of. Think again. Granted, Germans love nothing better than to bitch and moan about anything and everything they can, their jobs included, but the latest phase of a study done by the Universität Duisburg-Essen has shown that based on a scale from 1 (awful) to 10 (great) German on-the-job satisfaction has dropped from 7.6 to 6.8 during the past 25 years.

In an international comparison, German is even way down at the bottom of the list, the only workers being less satisfied coming from ex-East Block nations like Slowakia, Ukraine, Bulgaria and Russia. But at least now the West Germans are just as miserable as the East Germans are, the study says. So that’s progress, I guess.

Hmmm. I guess nothing ever is as it seems.

Im internationalen Vergleich rangiert Deutschland in der Studie weit hinten auf Rang 18 – nur in den ehemaligen Ostblock-Staaten Slowakei, Ukraine, Bulgarien und Russland seien die Arbeitnehmer demnach noch unzufriedener.

Time To Say Goodbye

August 2, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire Leave a comment

To all those jobs in the German nuclear power industry, I mean. It’s phase-out time in more ways than one over here.

It’s coming out that E.ON, Germany’s largest energy provider, is now to go on an extreme austerity diet and is about to “restructure,” as they like to say, know what I’m saying? They’re even talking about closing down the big new headquarters they just moved into a year ago.

But hey, it’s all worth it. No pain no gain or something. And don’t worry, there are no other hidden fallout issues here, either.

Of 17 German nuclear power plants, half are now turned off; all of them will be shut by 2022. That’s a loss of 22 billion euros in profits.

Oh My God We’re All Gonna Die Yet Again Once More Again This Time For Real Already

August 1, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, History Tags: Berlin, Congress, Dept, Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Obama, Satire, Tea Party Leave a comment

Historic? Damned right it’s historic (the debt deal – if it actually passes).

“In the first stage, it includes $917 billion in spending cuts and other deficit reduction now, as well as a $900 billion increase in the debt ceiling.

In the second stage, a special joint committee of Congress will recommend further deficit reduction steps totaling $1.5 trillion or more by the end of November, with Congress obligated to vote on the panel’s proposals by the end of the year.

In addition, across-the-board cuts are automatically enacted if Congress fails to pass the special committee’s recommendations.”

I can only hope that what seems to be one of the Spiegel‘s worst fears will actually come true and the US government has now begun a process that will “shrink itself to a skeletal state.” That just sounds too good to be true, though.

“Es gibt kein Licht am Ende des Tunnels.”

Tea Party Bad

July 31, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Captain America, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Obama, Satire, Tea Party 6 Comments

Here’s a quick summary of a fascinating Spiegel editorial about the American Tea Party movement and the current US debt crisis. Or the German intellectual take on it, I should say.

Tea Party want bankruptcy. America work for 235 years, then Tea Party come.

Now Tea Party want friction. Tea Party not want results. Tea Party now enemy. Tea Party outsiders.

Tea Party all take, no give. Tea Party not want to raise taxes. Tea Party bad not to want to raise taxes.

Tea Party people make fear, lead America to economic Armageddon.

America now at standstill. Tea Party people want annihilate Washington (see Captain America). They want stripped down state. Not like state. Very bad.

President Obama want improve schools. Tea Party not want this.
President Obama want clean energy. Tea Party not want this.
President Obama want cuts (and taxes). Tea Party not want this (only cuts). This bad.

Tea Party focus on principles. Very bad.

Tea Party practice raw and aggressive democracy.

Tea Party even make fun of Republicans. This good, sort of, but still bad.

Democracy depends on compromise and the American government depends on all branches working together. The Tea Party movement shuns both, preferring instead to drive the state into bankruptcy. On principle.

Oh My God We’re All Gonna Die Again Already

July 29, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Economy, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, USA Leave a comment

Well there we have it. Der Spiegel itself makes it official and that picture down there proves it or something.

The American economy is caving in. We’re tanking. We’re toast. It’s all over but the crying. All bets are off. We’re on the river of no return. We’re dead meat. Buddy, have you got a dime? How about any of you other guys out there other than Buddy? Down and out in [place any American city name you want here]. Yes, we can. I mean no, we can’t.

Thanks, Spiegel. How refreshing (not). But how so very predictable. And consistent.

Es ist ein grässlicher Tag für die USA: Die Supermacht steht vor der Staatspleite, jetzt bricht auch noch das Wirtschaftswachstum ein.

The Cuban Rum Crisis

July 29, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy Tags: Berlin, Communism, Cuba, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Rum, Satire Leave a comment

German rum runners everywhere were stunned to discover yesterday that evil US of Amerika has placed an embargo on communist Cuban goods some 50 years ago and that that nation’s Yankee imperialist lacky puppets eBay/PayPal will no longer allow them to import Cuban rum to Germany anymore (they froze their accounts).

When will the Unterdrückung (oppression) ever end or something?

“Der Händler kann weiter seine Artikel bei Ebay verkaufen, aber nicht über PayPal.”

Greeks Don’t Work Enough

July 28, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Travel, Vacation 1 Comment

Talk about your vacation nation. No, not Greece. Germany.

This isn’t really news, of course. “Germans may accuse spendthrift euro zone southerners of too much play and not enough work, but they enjoy the most generous annual holiday time in the European Union, a study released on Wednesday showed.”

Hey, it’s nice to be the king.

Keine anderen Europäer haben mehr freie Tage im Jahr – insgesamt sind es jeweils 40.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Humor