No Job Losses Here

In Germany. Then everybody’s happy, right?

A380

The German government is not expecting widespread job cuts in Europe’s largest economy following Airbus’s decision to scrap production of the A380 superjumbo, the aerospace policy coordinator told Reuters on Thursday.

“We expect these jobs will largely continue to exist, working on different models such as the A350, the newest plane on the market, or the A330 neo.”

 

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SPD Ready To Abolish The One Reform They Accidentally Did Right

It took them fifteen years to sink this low but better late than never, I guess.

Nahles

The SPD, clutching for any straw it can still find before going under completely, is now prepared to do away with the infamous Hartz IV reform introduced by the SPD-lead government under Gerhard Schroeder in 2003. Never popular because it made major demands upon the unemployed, it nevertheless brought a considerable reduction in short- and long-term unemployment and contributed to making Germany the employment powerhouse it is in Europe today. Back to the future. As in living in the past.

AUSGERECHNET IHR GRÖSSTES ERFOLGSPROJEKT – SPD will Hartz IV abschaffen!

SPD Outrage…

Is the most outrageous kind of outrage there is around here. Take this one: Outrage about the unacceptably high number of temp employment contracts in Germany today. We’ll see to it that these poor people get real jobs!

SPD

Fine. Run with it. So that’s why the SPD is making such a big noise about alleviating this scourge as soon as the next GroKo (with SPD participation) is finally in power.

The only dumb thing here is that they wouldn’t have to wait that long if they didn’t want to. It turns out that the folks over at the SPD-run Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth, for instance, have hired way too many of these poor defenseless temp employees themselves. They’re not willing to give these people permanent contracts, however. This is because… Because why anyway? And there we have it again, folks: The SPD redistributor world vs. the real finite resources world.

Die SPD hat im Koalitionsvertrag einen Kompromiss zu sachgrundlosen Befristungen ausgehandelt. Tatsächlich ist die Praxis aber auch in Bundesministerien gängig.

600,000 Jobs

More or less.

According to a study conducted by the ifo economic institute, some 600,000 jobs in the German automobile industry would be lost if the planned ban on combustion engines in Germany in 2030 goes through, which of course it will and must (this is Germany, after all).

Morgenthau

Damn. The Greens & Co. have developed a little Morgenthau Plan of their own. A little late, but still. Germany as Agrarland (agricultural country)? Why not? Germany first or something.

Mehr als 600.000 deutsche Industriearbeitsplätze wären laut einer Studie direkt oder indirekt betroffen, wenn ab 2030 keine Autos mit Verbrennungsmotoren mehr zugelassen werden dürften.

Working Germans Totally Inefficient These Days

Whereas the number of working Germans who put in a 48-hour workweek back in 1995 was 1.3 million, some 1.7 48-hour workweek Germans are needed today to get the same amount of work done. Or so I assume…

Working

Was für Luschen. What a bunch of duds.

Während 1995 etwa sechs Millionen Beschäftigte regelmäßig am Samstag oder Sonntag gearbeitet haben, waren es im vergangenen Jahr bereits 8,8 Millionen und damit jeder vierte Beschäftigte.

Poor But Sexy, But Poor

Those were the days. Berlin used to be just (arm aber sexy) poor but sexy.

Poor

Now Berlin is poor but sexy, but poor. At least when it comes to trying to earn a living here.

The German capital pulls down the per capita income for the entire country. According to Eurostat (the European statistics office), Germany’s gross national product (with an emphasis on gross) would climb 0.2 percent if they could just find a way to factor out losers like us here in Berlin.

Poor? Yo capital is so poor it can’t afford to pay attention.

Die Hauptstadt drückt auf das Pro-Kopf-Einkommen der gesamten Bundesrepublik: Das Bruttoinlandsprodukt je Einwohner würde um 0,2 Prozent steigen, wenn man Berlin und seine Einwohner ausklammert, wie das Institut der deutschen Wirtschaft (IW) auf Basis von Daten des Europäischen Statistikamtes Eurostat errechnete.

German Sommerloch Update: Office Chairs Incorrectly Adjusted For Many Employees

Especially for the ones still on their Sommerloch summer vacations, I bet.

Sommerloch

Sitting for long periods strains the spine. Many desk workers therefore complain about backache. Correctly adjusting the office chair can prevent these complaints, however.

„In vielen Betrieben gibt es gute Stühle, aber die Beschäftigten haben sich damit noch nie befasst.“

We’re Number One!

When it comes to not having children.

Baby

A new study has determined that Germany not only has the lowest birth rate in Europe, it has the lowest birth rate on Planet Earth itself. In the past five years Germany has managed to produce a less than whopping 8.3 children per 1000 inhabitants. That edges the country past the previous Japanese champions who apparently couldn’t keep their hands off each other during the same period and now squeeze out some 8.4 children per 1000 inhabitants.

But what’s this with these .3 and .4 kids, gals?

Meanwhile, in an unrelated story… Another study indicates that Germany will face a massive labor deficit by the year 2030. In a mere 15 years, that is, between 6.1 and 7.8 million workers will be missing in the country.

And it could get worse. Large sections of the German population just disappear out of nowhere here from time to time, too.

Danach wurden in den vergangenen fünf Jahren im Durchschnitt 8,3 Kinder je 1000 Einwohner geboren. Das liegt unter dem Niveau des bisherigen Schlusslichts Japan von 8,4 Kindern je 1000 Einwohner.

Germans To Be Replaced By Robots

Maybe this continued drop in Germany’s population isn’t such a bad thing after all. It will open up more employment opportunities for R2D2 & Co.

Robots

A study by ING-Diba Bank indicates that in the medium to long-term, 59 percent of German jobs are directly threatened by robotics and other technologies.

“We have taken the robot out of the cage.”

Foreigners Have Lower Chances Of Getting A Job Than Germans Do?

In Germany? Wow, that’s a real shocker. Who would have expected that?

Ausländer

Maybe they’ve been applying at the wrong places, though. This radical Salifist dude here had no trouble getting a job working in the highly sensitive baggage handling section at Düsseldorf Airport, for instance. Despite having an intensive security check done on him first, I mean.

Think positive, folks. You can do it. You just have to get out there and show a little private initiative, I always say.

Der 27-Jährige wird zum Umfeld des deutschen Salafisten Sven Lau gerechnet. Er soll zu jenen Männern gehören, die Anfang September in Wuppertal als “Scharia-Polizei” aufgetreten waren.

PS: “The best thing in sports, period: Game 7.” Go Giants!