First Sommerloch Monster Sighting Already Over

They don’t usually catch them, this time of year. But they had this guy in the bag in no time.

Kangaroo

Kangaroos in Brandenburg? Why not, they’re in Sauerland and Rheinland these days, too.

I do wonder if Germany’s nature engineers have thought this through thoroughly, however. Didn’t they just reintroduce wolves here reently?

Polizisten, ein Tierarzt und Anwohner haben in Teltow-Fläming stundenlang ein Buschkänguru gejagt. Erst Betäubungspfeile konnten es stoppen.

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GedächtnisEsser?

You say ‘tomato’, I say ‘tomato’… You say ‘Wesen‘, I say ‘vessen’…

The stupid creature names are fine. What isn’t, however, is that for the entire duration of the show, every single actor on it has mispronounced the very easy German word for creature…

I kept hearing “vessen” this and “vessen” that, and I had no idea what the characters were talking about, until I saw an episode summary on Hulu with what I surmised was that word written out: Wesen, which literally translates to being or creature (from gewesen, of one of the past-tense forms of the verb to be, sein)…

Trouble is, any German 5-year-old will tell you that word is pronounced VAY-zen, with a V sound (which Grimm gets right), a long E (in the German sense—pronounced like in dreidel), and a soft S (that approximates the English Z).

Right On Time

This is definitely one of my favorite rituals over here. Like the reliable old groundhog back home, at least one weird animal sighting is guaranteed to take place in Germany during the so-called Sommerloch season.

Lotti

This year’s winner is a terrifying alligator snapping turtle that actually attacked a young swimmer in Bavaria somewhere. Or maybe he didn’t. But still.

Like I said, this happens over here every year. Here are just a few examples. Who says that “news” isn’t a product that you can just turn on and off at will? Depending upon the demand, I mean. Which obviously seems to be pretty low at the moment (it’s a Sommerloch, like I said).

And all of these scary monsters have one other thing in common, too: They never get caught. Some böse Zungen (malicious tongues) even suggest that these creatures don’t even really, you know, exist?

The turtle, nicknamed Lotti, is likely to be some 40cm (16 inches) long and weigh at least 14kg (30 pounds).

Next Imaginary Crocodile Sighting Underway

Germans are totally tierlieb (fond of animals). Especially when they are the exotic and preferably dangerous kind of Tier they regularly think they see but never manage to find lurking about in the German Wildnis (wilderness).

This time it’s another crocodile, somewhere near Regensburg (with an emphasis on the crock here, folks). A guy out on a walk and “a lady on an air mattress” both saw the horrible creature so we can be sure that this time the danger is clear and present.

These are obligatory annual sightings, by the way. I don’t know why that it, but you have to have at least one here every summer. It has to do with the infamous German Sommerloch (which is just about to start), I think, but that’s another story.

Die Polizei in Bayern hat mit Schlauchbooten, Tauchern und sogar einem Hubschrauber nach einem Krokodil in einem Badesee gesucht – bisher erfolglos.