German Rents Keep Rising

You have to shell out $85 a week at Rent-a-Huhn just for five lousy chickens, for instance.

Chickens

Bee-Rent will set you back nearly $200 a month for your bee box. And I wouldn’t even want to tell you what renting out a rabbit companion for your rabbit costs. Not even if I knew, I mean.

Farm living is the life for me (not).

“The hens are very relaxed when I pick them up again – and so are the customers, who are often sad to see their feathery friends leave.”

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Speaking Of Posing With Animals…

What’s wrong with this picture?

FKK

Dogs are allowed on the beaches here.

Six odd things Germans do in the summer: These summer pastimes show that Germans’ reputation for being uptight and straight-laced sticklers for punctuality couldn’t be further from the truth. Many like nothing better than getting naked and drunk, and blocking up public traffic routes on the way.

German Border Guards To Keep Wolves Out

About 150 years have passed since German hunters eradicated wolves from the nation’s woodlands. But the animal’s threatening aura has persisted through folk tales, including those by German writers Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm.

Wolves

So when wolf packs began reappearing in Germany late in the 20th century, thanks to the efforts of conservationists, the animals faced a public-relations challenge.

Meanwhile… Even though members of the “Night Wolves” may already have visas for Germany, they will be revoked at the border if members of the group, blacklisted in the United States for their participation in Russia’s annexation of Crimea, try to enter.

Germany Going To The Dogs

Or is it to the wolves? Or to the foxes maybe? Sheesh. Nature at its finest again.

Flamingos

When wolves aren’t killing deer down in the Bavarian outback these days, foxes are breaking into the Frankfurter Zoo at night and biting the heads off of flamingos. Bad animals! Bad!

Die am Wochenende im Frankfurter Zoo getöteten Flamingos sind keinem Tierquäler zum Opfer gefallen – sondern einem oder mehreren Füchsen.

PS: But now let’s move on to some more like totally unrelated unnatural type stuff. No Nukes, No Russian Gas, No Solar, No Fracking: How Exactly Does Germany Plan to Keep the Lights On?

Right On Time

This is definitely one of my favorite rituals over here. Like the reliable old groundhog back home, at least one weird animal sighting is guaranteed to take place in Germany during the so-called Sommerloch season.

Lotti

This year’s winner is a terrifying alligator snapping turtle that actually attacked a young swimmer in Bavaria somewhere. Or maybe he didn’t. But still.

Like I said, this happens over here every year. Here are just a few examples. Who says that “news” isn’t a product that you can just turn on and off at will? Depending upon the demand, I mean. Which obviously seems to be pretty low at the moment (it’s a Sommerloch, like I said).

And all of these scary monsters have one other thing in common, too: They never get caught. Some böse Zungen (malicious tongues) even suggest that these creatures don’t even really, you know, exist?

The turtle, nicknamed Lotti, is likely to be some 40cm (16 inches) long and weigh at least 14kg (30 pounds).

Berlin’s Rotten Infrastructure Indirectly Responsible For The Death Of This Poor Little Rat

This was gross negligence on the part of power supplier Vattenfall, if you ask me. And even grosser, uh, something for the guy who had to clean up the mess afterwards.

Rat

An innocent and relatively harmless rat was way too easily able to make his way through some little hole in the wall of a network power station place in Tempelhof today and cause a short in a 10,000 volt power line that took down the power for some 2,200 apartments and 170 businesses in the area.

Needless to say, this action took down the rat, too. We can only hope that it was clean, green energy that got him.

Erst vor wenigen Wochen hatte eine Ratte einen Stromausfall im havarierten japanischen Atomkraftwerk Fukushima Daichii ausgelöst.

Pimp My Sheep?

She’s not baaaad and all, but this is so weird it’s… Well, I don’t even know how weird this is anymore, to tell you the truth.

Germany is about to ban sex with animals, including the “pimping” of farm animals for sex.

Lobbyist Michael Kiok, who lives with his dog Cassie, told the newspaper there were more than 100,000 zoophiles in Germany.

“Mere morals have no place in law,” he said.