German Dogs Will Soon Be Forced To Take Better Care Of Their Owners

Dog owners are not just cuddly toys, mutts. They also have their own needs.

Dog

New Law Proposed in Germany Demands Dog Owners Take Pets on an Hour-Long Walk Twice a Day.

I’ve been told that another new proposed law would force German dogs to teach their owners to roll over and play dead every time the government asks them to but the political opposition insists that this would be unnecessary government intervention as this has already long been the case.

“They’ll be telling cat owners how often they need to change their litter trays next.”

“Would Establish A Relentless Critic?”

Who could ask for more?

Macgregor

Advocacy groups come out against Trump pick for ambassador to Germany.

If Macgregor is confirmed, it “would establish as America’s representative, in what many regard as the most important capital in Europe, a relentless critic, presumably handicapped from the start as an effective envoy.”

CNN first unsurfaced comments earlier this week, including remarks that criticized Germany for giving “millions of unwanted Muslim invaders” welfare benefits and said Germany’s efforts to grapple with its role in the Holocaust was a “sick mentality.”

Trumps Wunsch-Botschafter stänkerte gegen Deutschland.

German Students Not Use To Countries That Uphold Their Visa Laws

Looks like it’s Fridays for No-Future for you.

Students

Sie schaffen das!

German students in US urge Berlin to take stand against new visa rules – “We’re counting on your support,” students wrote in an open letter to Angela Merkel’s government. Under new pandemic rules, international students face expulsion from the US if their schools offer online-only classes.

The new visa regulations as part of “an increasingly xenophobic immigration policy.”

Good Luck With That, Germany

You’re going to need it.

Germany

Germany seeks reform of EU asylum – When Germany takes over the rotating EU presidency, it will seek to tackle the long-stalled reform of EU asylum rules. The pressure to act is almost as great as the resistance to reform ideas.

Germany wants a fairer spread of asylum seekers across all EU members.

That Would Be A Great Step Forward

America’s relationship with Germany may never be the same again, Berlin warns.

Germany

Defense spending, a brewing trade war between the U.S. and Europe and the threat of U.S. tariffs on German car exports are all bones of contention, as well as the mega gas pipeline Nord Stream 2 (a German-Russian project) and, most recently, the Group of Seven (G-7) alliance and the U.S.’ decision to withdraw troops from Germany.

The Germans don’t want to cooperate, not in any of these areas and they’re playing the victim by putting all the blame on Dr. Evil. It’s  a pretty easy tactic to see through and its been quite successful up until now. They got themselves into this mess, however. Germans always want an Extrawurst (an extra sausage, something for nothing). Trump sees this and is pointing the finger in the right direction. The Germans know that he sees this and they don’t like having been caught.

“We’re protecting Germany and they’re delinquent. That doesn’t make sense.”

German Of The Day: Dax-Zombie

That means DAX zombie.

DAX

For the first time, a DAX company, Wirecard, has gone broke but won’t be kicked out of the index until September.

Wirecard has filed for insolvency, just days after a $2 billion accounting scandal at the company burst into the open, crashing its stock and leading to the arrest of its former chief executive.

The digital payments company said in a statement Thursday it had opened legal proceedings in Munich “due to impending insolvency and over-indebtedness.” Share

Mit Wirecard ist zum ersten Mal ein Dax-Konzern pleite gegangen. Aus dem Leitindex fliegen dürfte der Konzern aber erst im September.

Will It Be A Proper Landing For Lufthansa?

Or will it be more of an arrival?

Lufthansa

Or is it time to say goodbye? I wouldn’t place any bets on this one, folks. Lufthansa got kicked out of the DAX yesterday –  while Wirecard was allowed to stay? Go figure.

Lufthansa, Berlin in eleventh hour bailout rescue attempt – The German government leapt into action Monday (22 June) to rescue a proposed €9 billion coronavirus bailout for Lufthansa that has run into resistance from a billionaire shareholder…

The clock is ticking as Lufthansa shareholders are voting Thursday (25 June) on the rescue plan, which would see Berlin take a 20% stake in the company with the option of adding 5% more in the case of a hostile takeover bid.

Weiterhin keine Einigung zu Stellenabbau bei Lufthansa.

Where On Earth Did I Put That €1.9 Billion?

I didn’t leave it in my other wallet now, did I?

Wirecard

Remember when Germany used to have that squeaky-clean image? Yeah. Me neither. Now Wirecard has stepped up to the plate.

German payments firm Wirecard says missing €1.9bn may not exist – Company thought money was in two Asian banks but search hits dead end in Philippines.

“The management board of Wirecard assesses on the basis of further examination that there is a prevailing likelihood that the bank trust account balances in the amount of €1.9bn do not exist.”

German Of The Day: Säumig

That means delinquent.

Trump

You know, as in Donald Trump accusing Germany of being “delinquent” in its payments to Nato, and saying he would stick with the plan unless Berlin changed its course? The truth hurts, Germany. “Why does Germany pay billions to Russia for energy and then we’re supposed to protect Germany from Russia? How is that supposed to work? It doesn’t.”

Trump confirms plan to cut troops in Germany – US President Donald Trump has confirmed plans to withdraw 9,500 American troops from bases in Germany. 

„Warum zahlt Deutschland Russland Milliarden Dollar für Energie, und dann sollen wir Deutschland vor Russland schützen? Wie soll das funktionieren? Es funktioniert nicht.“

Your Flight From 2012 Is Now Ready For Boarding

What do you mean? Berlin’s party joke phantom airport may be opening after all?

Airport

Too bad I didn’t keep our plane tickets from 2012 as souvenirs. They showed us departing from Los Angeles (LAX) and arriving at Berlin Brandenburg Airport (BER), which was just about to open. But the launch, already delayed the previous year, was again called off at the last minute. So we landed instead at the charming but small Tegel airport (TXL) that dates back to the early Cold War…

To pessimists, BER symbolizes Germany’s bad developments. Its highly publicized bureaucratic and engineering fiascoes have dented the country’s former reputation — not always entirely flattering — of being relentlessly meticulous and punctual. The subtext is that Germany, whether it’s building airports or algorithms, is increasingly leaving economic dynamism to others, especially China.

To optimists, this too is part of Germany’s long historical arc to “normality.” Germans today are more relaxed about their national identity and place in the world than they’ve ever been. That explains why they’ve also been nonchalant about BER’s travails. The truth is, many Germans have secretly been savoring the airport headlines as a font of gossip. Many an awkward dinner party has been saved by boozy debates about whether humans would set foot on Mars before disembarking at BER, or whether it would be more cost-effective to rebuild the capital near a working airport.