Pro-Iranian Business Conference Great Success In Berlin

Although having been in a bit of a slump recently for some inexplicable reason, business opportunities appear to be picking up once again with Iran for mid-sized German firms.

Something called the “Iranian Business Women Power Economic Congress,” specifically designed to violate the sanctions put in place against the Iranian regime (established by Germany, the European Union, the United States and the United Nations), is successfully promoting trade with the Islamic Republic while simultaneously honoring Iranian women’s rights or something, although some of the women attending haven’t dressed according to forced Islamic dress codes (well they’re forced in Iran) “but we will address that later,” one miffed bearded organizer noted.

“And no, we are not allowing Iranian women to be used as a pretext here in Germany to defy the so-called sanctions you speak of,” another organizer added. “How could we? We like women. The humiliation, silencing, repression and stoning of them that takes place back home is grossly exaggerated in the West. And for the record, once again: We’re not developing any nuclear detonators, warheads or weapons of any kind either, just in case you were wondering.”

“Wir sind wie Wasser – wir finden immer einen Weg”

Funnel Payments Stopped Despite Iranian Pledge

Despite Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s repeated pledge to Germany that Iran’s nuclear program is being used for energy only and that he would reveal any future secret Iranian nuclear site plans “as soon as he became aware of them,” a spokesman for the German government says that the deal to funnel oil payments from India to Iran through Germany’s central bank has been scrapped.

Enraged by this sudden change of heart, Mr. Ahmadinejad asked the Germans “But what about my promise to give 60-days notice before unleashing any surprise attacks on Israel using the missiles that we almost certainly do not have, to the best of my recollection? Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Washington has questioned Germany’s resolve to enforce sanctions given its strong trading links with Tehran.

What bank crisis?

“A small Iranian-owned bank in Germany has been used by the Iranian government to go around international economic sanctions and do business on behalf of blacklisted organizations.”

“The UN Security Council slapped a fourth set of sanctions against Iran in June for refusing to halt its uranium enrichment work, the most sensitive part of Tehran’s controversial atomic drive.”

Another coalition of the willing (not)?

Or does it just stay business as usual?

“The responsibility for stopping the Iranian bomb thus rests with a coalition of the willing. The attitude of Germany—Iran’s most important Western trading partner—will be critical to the success of such a coalition. But while the recent announcement by Siemens and Munich Re to exit the Iranian market have garnered headlines, hundreds of German manufacturers remain determined to continue doing business as usual with Tehran.”

Much of that business goes undetected via Dubai.

Where’s my Kuchen?

I want to eat it too.

“If Berlin pursues this new stance*, the Center for European Reform report argues, it will allow Germany to have its cake and eat it. Germany would be contributing to President Barack Obama’s quest for nuclear disarmament, the report says, but could still rely on the NATO countries that deploy the remaining 180 U.S. weapons — Belgium, Italy, the Netherlands and Turkey — to provide it with a security umbrella.”

* Demanding that the remaining American nuclear missles be removed from Germany but still expect the protection of American nuclear weapons.

“Die letzten Nuklearwaffen in Deutschland sind ein Relikt des Kalten Kriegs. Sie haben keinen militärischen Sinn mehr.”

Iran using tricks?

Really? Who would have thought that? After all these long years, I mean.

It must have been those tricky Avatar 3D glasses that finally tipped the Germans off.

Westerwelle told Deutschlandfunk radio that Iran would be judged by its actions and not by its words, and that only a serious return to negotiations would prevent further measures such as sanctions being imposed on the Islamic Republic.