Your Tax Euros At Work

July 19, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Government Meddling, Humor, Mismangement, Nuerburgring, Racing, Satire, Socialism, SPD, State Intervention, Waste 1 Comment

SPD Governor (Rhineland-Palatinate) Kurt Beck just can’t resign, Nürnburgring bankruptcy or not. This is because, well, “he’s been in office longer than any other German governor” out there. Or is that maybe part of the problem?

Nuerburgring GmbH, 90 percent owned by the state, ran into financial trouble amid a dispute with the track’s operator over leasing fees, and Rhineland-Palatinate has sought to restructure the company with the help of a bridge financing package.

„Jetzt wird es Zeit, dass MP Beck selbst politische Insolvenz anmeldet.“

Grumbling German Jihadis Go Home

July 18, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Hate, Helplessness, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Goodbye Deutschland, Humor, Islam, Islamic Terror, Jihad, Pakistan, Satire, Terror, Terrorists, Training Camps, TV Leave a comment

The German jihad just ain’t what it used to be.

A lot like those disgruntled Auswanderer (emigrant) types on Goodby Deutschland who invariably tuck in their tails and head back home in disgrace, hundreds of aspiring Islamic terrorists from Germany (and their families) have had it up to here already in Waziristan and are heading back to Deutschland in frustration and disgust.

It turns out that their living conditions in the mountains were tougher and less romantic than those portrayed in the promotional clips and what with the disease and the hardship and death always raining down from the sky from American drones and dozens of German combatants already dead, hey, not even going back to live in Germany seemed all that bad a prospect anymore.

What do you think? Which one of these guys is going to turn out to be the next Daniela Katzenberger?

“The first time I heard about going to Pakistan, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I didn’t even know if you could get Pampers there.”

We Must Save The World But It Must Be Affordable

July 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, High Art, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Energy Turnaround, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Cheap, in other words.

Germans everywhere are slowly waking up to the fact that their revolutionary switch to renewable energy sources is going to cost way too way much more than they ever thought they would ever have to pay – and the German government has now woken up to this.

That is why they have now begun a quiet backpedaling policy designed to prepare the German population for a slow turnaround from the energy turnaround that hasn’t even begun to turn around yet.

“For me it’s a priority that electricity remains affordable,” Germany’s new Environment Minister Peter Altmaier says, for instance.

He also says he doubts that Germany will be able to reach its goal of introducing one million electric cars by 2020.

Nor does he think that Germany will be able to cut its energy consumption by 10 percent that year, a precondition for reaching the illusory goal of 35 percent renewables the government is still aiming for, sort of.

This is the German Environment Minister talking here, folks. So you get the message, don’t you? And if you don’t get it now, you’ll get it later.

Regierung fürchtet die Strompreis-Wut der Wähler

Bundeswehr On The Front Line Again

July 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hypocrisy Tags: Arms Sales, Army, Berlin, Bundeswehr, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Industry, Sales, Ships, The Military, Weapons, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

When it comes to fighting for German weapon system exports, I mean. Talk about your military industrial complex. The Germans sure have one – and are clearly in denial about it – which is the real news item here if you ask me. Take the latest sale of frigates to Algeria, for instance (I mean please).

These pacifistic (German made) and very expensive peaceships not only make big profits for traditional Waffenschmiede (weapons makers) like Thyssen-Krupp Marine-Systeme, they finally give Germany’s alibi army something vernünftig (reasonable) to do: Train the folks who might actually be using these weapons one day – and in a thoroughly German thorough way, too, I am sure.

Who says the Bundeswehr isn’t an effective force? No, not a fighting one, as a sales force.

“Die Ausbildung wird in Deutschland und auf Hoher See stattfinden.”

What Germans Want

July 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Hi-tech, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Artificial Insemination, Berlin, Bestiality, Drugs, Genocide, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Polls, Satire, Sex, Surveys 1 Comment

An online German government poll has just found out that Germans want legalized dope, a ban on sex with animals, more home births, a ban on genocide denial and more affordable artificial insemination, although not necessarily in that order.

Of course nobody asked how they would feel about the possibility of getting rid of online polls like these one day, but give them some time.

The online poll is part of an ongoing government initiative called “Dialogue on the Future” that aims to get ordinary Germans thinking about how to improve life in Germany.

PS: And in another survey it turns out that 57.6 of German women asked would rather watch “Sex and the City” (TV) than have sex.

Babies Down 15,000

July 2, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, History, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria Tags: Berlin, Demographics, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Immigration, Population, Satire Leave a comment

Germans have been dying off faster than they can replace themselves for over forty years now. It’s just what they do.

And here are last year’s numbers: 2.2 percent fewer German babies were born in 2011 then in the year before. Strangely, though, the number of inhabitants actually grew last year (them damned durn foreign immigrants again).

It’s the demographics, stupid.

Schon seit 40 Jahren sterben in Deutschland mehr Menschen als Kinder geboren werden.

The Party Is Already Over?

July 1, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, High Art, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Pirates, Political Parties, Politics, Protest, Satire, The Pirate Party Leave a comment

For the Pirate Party in Germany, I mean?

Sheesh. Even I thought it would take them longer than this to roll over and die. But the latest Emnid poll shows that their popularity (or lack of it?) has rapidly dropped to the lowest level since March (8 percent compared to their all-time high of 12 percent).

But hey, what can you expect from a party with an ex-boss who advises voters not to vote for them anymore.

Auf die Frage „Sollen wir die Piraten wählen?“ würde er inzwischen mit „Nö, lassen Sie es lieber bleiben“ antworten. Er sei von der Bilanz der Fraktion „immens enttäuscht.“

Our Debt Still Doesn’t Stink

June 25, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Big Government, Debt, Europe, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, The EU, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, The Financial Crisis Leave a comment

German government debt keeps climbing relentlessly higher and reached an all-time high during the first three months of this year. The federal, state and local governments then reached a debt to the tune of 2 trillion euros.

That was 2.1 percent or 42.3 billion euros higher (deeper?) than in the previous year’s quarter, reported the Federal Office of Statistics in Wiesbaden on Monday.

Now if only Greece and Co. could learn to control their government spending like the Germans do. Oh, wait. They already have. Or do. Or whatever.

Deutschlands Staatsschulden auf Rekordhoch gestiegen

I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots And Your Motorcycle

June 21, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Economy, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Manufacturing, The EU, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, The Terminator 1 Comment

Is it termination time yet? For the booming German economy, I mean?

The Spiegel says: German manufacturing activity has hit a three-year low and export orders have also seen a big drop. This data suggests that the crisis is starting to hit the previously robust German economy.

Hasta la vista, baby? Maybe.

German Solar Energy Industry Tanks, German Tanks Don’t

June 17, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hi-tech, History, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Arms exports, China, Energy, Energy Turnaround, Exports, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Imports, Renewable energy, Satire, Saudi Arabia, Solar energy, Weapons Exports Leave a comment

Unable to compete in the global market without the subsidy drug, state-ordained “energy turnaround” or not, Germany’s solar energy industry is getting eaten alive by cheap Chinese imports as we speak, so-to-speak.

“Ah, screw it,” German industrialists elsewhere in the country say to that. “We’ll just keep making a killing producing what we’ve always produced best: War technology. Tanks, Saudi Arabia!”

“But it’s not like we don’t continue to support the Arab Spring or anything,” another tankful German industrialist added ruefully.

German paper says Saudis want 600-800 tanks.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Hard Facts