Soaring Interest Rates, Weakening Economy, Record Inflation…

What’s not to like?

Oh, yeah. Commercial real estate is taking a dive now too.

German Real Estate Deals Plunged 50% in Fourth Quarter, BNP Says

Germany’s real estate market took a deep hit in the fourth quarter as investors shied away from deals on the back of soaring financing costs.

Total investments in the country’s commercial property sector only reached €9.9 billion ($10.6 billion) in the last three months of 2022, a decline of 50% compared with the five-year average for the period, according to a report released by BNP Paribas’ real estate unit on Monday. The development is largely due to soaring interest rates, a weakening economy and record inflation, it said.

Exploding Fireworks Louder Than German Army Ammunition

If the Bundeswehr had any, that is.

German defense minister lambasted over NYE Ukraine message – German media has mocked a “tone-deaf” video put out by Defense Minister Christine Lambrecht. She was slammed for discussing the war in Ukraine as people set off fireworks.

“The speech about the war with New Year’s Eve firecrackers in the background only crowns her series of embarrassments.”

Tanks For Nothing

And defense for free (from Dire Straits, sort of).

Our German Ally: Tanking.

Putin has given any number of reasons (all of them nonsense) to justify Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. One of them was that Russia was “threatened” by NATO’s expansion. That is, to put it mildly, unconvincing. Russia’s grumbling about Ukrainian independence dates back to the Yeltsin era, long before (the special case of the vanished East Germany aside) NATO had expanded to include any countries in the former Soviet bloc.

A more convincing explanation (so far as the Kremlin’s attitude to NATO was concerned) was that Putin had seen the alliance’s weakness and concluded that it would present Moscow with no problems in the event that Russia took back control over its neighbor. An important reason why the Kremlin might have seen things that way was the position of Germany, a supposedly key member of NATO, but one that had a distinctly, uh, nuanced view of what membership of the alliance meant.

One obvious sign of that was the country’s neglect of its armed forces throughout Angela Merkel’s dismal chancellorship.

German Of The Day: Maulwurf

That means mole.

German politicians hail capture of suspected Russian ‘mole’ – The capture of an alleged Russian spy in Germany’s intelligence agencies has been called a “wake-up call” by politicians who are concerned by the threat of hybrid warfare.

“The fact that there are Russian espionage activities in Germany is well known and hardly surprising. But if now even in the ranks of the BND an employee is said to have spied for Russia, then this would be a completely new and frightening quality. Of course, this also raises the question of the effectiveness of the BND’s own security.”

No Wa-Way

Wa-Way. As in Huawei. It’s the German way.

Germany is (still) a Huawei hotspot in Europe – Europe’s largest economy Germany hasn’t kicked its habit of using Chinese kit for its 5G telecoms networks yet.

A new study analyzing Huawei’s market share in Europe estimates that Germany relies on Chinese technology for 59 percent of its 5G networks. Other key markets including Italy and the Netherlands are also among eight countries where over half of 5G networks run on Chinese equipment.

German Of The Day: Totalausfall

That means total failure or total loss.

Like the latest “unexpected” breakdown (or are these planned?) in the mighty German war machine.

TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH THE PUMA – Our armored personnel carrier is a total failure.

The Bundeswehr has encountered serious technical problems with the Puma armored personnel carrier during exercises for NATO’s “spearhead” force.

The Russians Did It

If it’s something fishy, the Russians are always behind it.

Berlin: Major police operation as massive aquarium bursts – More than 100 firefighters were called to the scene at the Radisson Blu hotel in the German capital’s Mitte district.

A 16-meter (52-foot) aquarium has burst at a hotel in downtown Berlin, Germany, rescue services said on Friday.

German State Media Want Their Own “Insurrection” So Bad

They can taste it. And they’re perfectly willing to make theirs even more ridiculous than that first way cool media construct in evil US-Amerika.

Admittedly, a hard thing to do but I wouldn’t putsch it past them. Enjoy, folks. Very entertaining. I coup watch them all day.

The bizarre far-right coup attempt in Germany, explained by an expert – Understanding the Reichsbürger, a QAnon-influenced radical movement that just tried to make a minor noble the new king of Germany.

German Of The Day: Energiepreis-Stoppschild

That means energy price stop sign.

This is a brilliant new German invention (both the word and the concept) meaning that energy providers must first explain why they will be raising prices before going ahead and raising them anyway. Thanks German government (the ones who created this energy crisis in Germany in the first place), German citizens are most certainly saying, we wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly at night without you.

Germany to force energy providers to justify future price hikes – The German government plans to allow energy providers to raise prices next year only if objectively justified, the economy ministry said on Saturday, denying a media report that Berlin planned a ban on all energy price hikes for consumers.