Tag Archives: Berlin

Only in Germany

October 6, 2010 By in Habeas Corpus, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

Possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks? Who cares? Germans have more important things to get hysterical about: A train station project.

That’s right. But this isn’t just any train station project we’re talking about here, folks. This is the now imfamous “Stutttgart 21” train station project, whatever the hell that means.

I don’t understand this, as usual. And the more I read about it the more I see how I won’t be able to. As far as I can tell, it’s a new station that’s part of a long planned high-speed rail project that would connect Stuttgart to nearby Ulm as part of a major European transportation infrastructure project “that would eventually see a high-speed link running between Paris and Bratislava, Slovakia.”

So far so good. But then “das Volk” in Stuttgart went ape about something. I still don’t really know what it was, other than maybe it’s about having to cut down a few trees to build this thing, but now it’s devolved into out and out Revolutionary Romanticism (German style), complete with heroic demonstrations of resistance and real live police brutality (only after the demonstrators provoked them, of course).

Building a freakin’ train station becomes a Politikum (big political issue) here, in other words. But that won’t really surprise anyone who has spent any time in Germany. This kind of stuff happens here all the time. It’s easy to be part of the German Resistance Movement This Week when what you’re resisting is as, well, about as harmless as it gets. It’s so pitiful it’s not even funny. It’s hilarious.

Disinformation in da nation

October 4, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Let me repeat: No threat here. Not in Germany. It can’t happen here. It’s verboten or something. You would have to get an official Genehmigung (authorization) first and you know how long it takes to get one of those. So stop hyperventilating and relax already.

Forget reports about possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks planned (being planned?) for Berlin’s Central Station, the TV Tower or Hotel Adlon. That’s all a bunch of American alarmist nonsense, honest (we’re talking about a FoxNews report here, after all). Sure there are “internal measures” being undertaken here in Germany right now anyway (whatever that means), just in case, but what’s that got to do with anything?

So move along and go quietly about your business (are your eyelids getting heavy yet?) and listen to what the Onkel (uncle) Interior Minister tells you.

„Für Alarmismus besteht, jedenfalls zur Zeit, kein Anlass.“

Bad General

October 2, 2010 By in Helplessness, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, not the one staring Harvey Keitel.

There’s apparantly a brisante (politically charged) quote in Bob Woodward’s new poltically charged book, “Obama’s Wars.” And no, it’s not about Obama.

An American general (I won’t give his real name–let’s just call him James Jones) hurt German soldier feelings really bad a while back by telling them “You’re not going to fight anyway, so we don’t need you” (in Afghanistan). The Germans refused to fight with him about it, however.

Can you imagine that? The next thing you know this Watergate Woodward guy will start digging up negative quotes about the President himself.

„Wir haben den Deutschen gesagt, ihr kämpft eh nicht, wir brauchen euch nicht.”

German egotism now to end

October 1, 2010 By in Habitudes, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

In a surprise announcement that absolutely no one interests or would believe one moment if it did, not-so-well-known futurologist Prof. Horst Opaschowski has announced the end of German egotism as we know it. Like in our time or something. Well it was a surprise announcement for me.

The age of the “Ichlinge” (The Me People) is coming to an end, says the Professor. After the finanical crisis, he says, Germans are now turning away in disgust from self-indulgence and mismanagement. They’ve seen the light, so-to-speak. “They want honorable businessmen and honest politicians. The yearning for secruity and solidarity within society is growing.”

His nose is growing too, I bet. Or this guy is terribly and deeply confused. Or maybe he just lives under a rock somewhere in the German pampa. He means well though, I guess, and that always “goes in the pants” over here, as the saying goes (goes awry). 

At any rate, I pity the fool who believes a word Mr. Nostradamus here has to say. But not all that much really. After all, I’m only in this here for number one.

Deutsche suchen Sicherheit und soziale Geborgenheit.

US, Western, it’s all the same to me

September 29, 2010 By in Hard Facts Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Die Welt says it was a United States intelligence service, Der Spiegel has to call it Western ones, of course.

Who cares, as long as it’s true. Drone attacks in Pakistan are thought to have thwarted a terror plot that is believed to have targeted multiple countries, including the UK, France, and Germany.

Those drones sure are yucky, aren’t they?

“The U.S. has shared intelligence with European allies in recent days and is working with our key partners in order to disrupt terrorist plotting, identify and take action against potential operatives, and strengthen our defenses against potential threats.”

Greenpeace stages atomic art happening

September 28, 2010 By in High Art, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Approving stuff in Germany is always problematic. Disapproval is almost always vorprogrammiert (preprogrammed). That’s why when the German government made clear its intention to extend the country’s use of nuclear power, everybody adhering to the ideological requirements of korrekt German Green thinking disapproved–and that’s a whole lot of folks too.

But at least the Greens at Greenpeace got a little creative about it this time (or as usual?). Protesters projected images with the slogan “atomic power damages Germany” onto the side of several of the country’s nuclear reactors. As far as I can tell, their reason for doing this was to explain to everybody that atomic power damages Germany. Not that they didn’t already know this, the main thing was that this was an Aktion. You know, one of those “happening” thingies?

And I don’t do art so I had to look it up: “A happening is a performance, event or situation meant to be considered as an art, usually as performance art. Happenings take place anywhere (from basements to studio lofts and even street alleyways), are often multi-disciplinary, with a nonlinear narrative and the active participation of the audience.”

Multi-disciplinary? Does that mean they’re gonna get in trouble for doing dis? Nah.

Die Atomkraftwerke in Deutschland sollen im Schnitt 12 Jahre länger am Netz bleiben als nach dem bisherigen Atomkonsens.

For Siemens with love

September 26, 2010 By in Hi-tech Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

The highly complex stuxnet worm–it’s complexity, some say, suggesting it could only have been created by a “nation state“–has targeted systems at Iran’s first nuclear power station, systems made by the German company Siemens.

Stuxnet is tailored to target weaknesses in Siemens systems used to manage water supplies, oil rigs, power plants and other utilities. But I can’t see why anyone would be interested in doing such a thing as Iran (with Siemen’s help) has repeatedly stated that it is only developing nuclear energy for peaceful purposes. 

Hmm. I guess you could say da ist der Wurm drin (the worm is inside) = there’s something very wrong with that. With making ridiculous statements like that, I mean.

Nun bestätigte ein Regierungsmitarbeiter, dass in Industrieanlagen 30.000 Rechner mit dem Virus infiziert wurden.

Anybody out there remember Clay Headquarters in Berlin?

September 24, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

I didn’t think so.

But in case you do, it’s up for sale now. I’m sure it’s a steal. They can’t tear it down (it’s basically an Adolf bunker), so make them an offer they can’t refuse.

PS: You may be familiar with it after all, whether you actually remember it or not. Parts of “Inglourious Basterds” and “Valkyrie” were shot there.

“Green Politician Survives Pie Attack Unscathed”

September 23, 2010 By in Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

I don’t make this stuff up, people. This title was the real thing and wasn’t meant as a joke.

The attack had something to do with “professional revolutionary” anti-nuke protestors or something. They were apparently pissed off that the anti-nuke Greens aren’t anti-nuke enough. So Green boss Jürgen Trittin got nuked with an anti-pie (from somebody’s auntie?) during a podium discussion. You know, the kind of podium discussions Jerry Springer used to have?

This particular discussion was entitled “Ideals and Realpolitik” so now we have the rest of the story. Geez, how could pies not have been thrown there?

Trittin’s not going to press chages, though. I guess the incident was too pienlich (embarassing) for him.

„Das intellektuelle Niveau dieser Argumentation eines Menschen, der sich selbst als Berufsrevolutionärin bezeichnet, ist beleidigend für jeden intelligenten Revolutionär. Nebenbei bemerkt ist Poddig wahrscheinlich die erste Berufsrevolutionärin, die nichts dabei findet, auf einer Veranstaltung aufzutreten, die mit staatlichen Geldern finanziert wird.“