Germany’s Crappy Eurovision Song Not Given The Votes It Deserved

Denmark’s Loreen and 19 others sang crappy songs that took in way more votes.

Eurovision

Böse Zungen (malicious tongues) have even suggested that Germany’s crappy Eurovision showing last night might not be entirely the fault of its crappy Cascada entry.

“We are in a difficult situation,” Thomas Schreiber from the ARD TV über-network said. “This is clearly a political situation.”

It wasn’t like Angela Merkel was singing (she might have actually won), but “you also have to see that it wasn’t just Cascada up there, Germany was on stage, too.”

Der ARD-Unterhaltungschef deutet ein Imageproblem in Europa an: “Da stand auch Deutschland auf der Bühne.”

PS: It wasn’t all bad news for Germany this weekend, however. Justin Bieber’s monkey will now become a German citizen.

German Plagiarism Obsession Now Spreading To The Eurovision Eurotrash Music Contest ITSELF

German critics are contending that the cruddy song to be performed by German dance band Cascada at this year’s cheesy Eurovision Song Contest is a crappy rip-off of last year’s worthless winning tune.

Eurovision

Cascada’s awful “Glorious,” they claim, is a cheap immitation of the dreadful “Euphoria” by Loreen.

In terms of beat, vocals and pauses, one critic says, the songs are virtually identical in their atrociousness and consummate lack of anything even remotely resembling musical taste.

“The vocals at the start are completely identical,” he added. “And pretty much indistinguishable in their repulsiveness. The refrain uses the same exact lack of emphasis and fails to work up to a climax in the very same way, too. The singer even uses the same ridiculous breathing style, for crying out loud. Move over to the side there buddy, I think I’m going to puke.”

It certainly isn’t the first time that the German entry has been dogged by such allegations. Previous acts accused of lacking originality include No Angels, Stefan Raab, Ralph Siegel, Texas Lightning and even the angelic-looking Nicole, who won the 1982 Eurovision Song Contest with the song “Ein Bisschen Frieden.”