First They Come For Your Fireworks

Then they introduce a speed limit on your autobahn. “Whatever is not expressly permitted is strictly forbidden” in Germany.

Fireworks

Could Germany ban personal fireworks? – Across the world, fireworks are an essential part of New Year’s Eve celebrations. Germans especially love setting off their own pyrotechnics, but some places have now imposed limited bans — for good reason…

Germany’s laissez-faire approach to pyrotechnics, however, has serious consequences. Fireworks harm the environment, and exploding pyrotechnics can startle and shock animals as well as little children…

Alles was nicht ausdrücklich erlaubt ist, ist verboten.

Whose Fingers Are These?

Happy New Year already.

Fingers

Police in Leipzig found two fingers somebody had blown off last night that nobody had claimed yet so they called Sherlock Holmes for help, I assume. He must have suggested that they call the emergency medical service number because when they did they were able to locate a patient matching the description perfectly. Missing two fingers, that is.

Somebody in Duisburg blew off three fingers. I haven’t got the missing finger count here in Berlin yet but there were fourteen serious incidents so I’m betting on a least a dozen. The main thing is that everybody has a good time, I say.

Alkohol und Schwarzpulver – eine fatale Mischung für einen Mann, der am Hauptbahnhof gefeiert hatte.

Speaking Of Explosions…

Germans typically turn their country into a war zone on New Year’s Eve, blowing the begeezus out of every small to medium-large object they can get their fingers on (fingers included) with big honking fireworks for hours and hours and hours on end. It’s just what they do.

Fireworks

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it), they are not “alone” this year and some communities are now banning setting off these fireworks near or on the grounds of the many refugee centers located in Germany now “out of concern about the psychological effects on refugees,” a lot of whom having come here from real war zones. As far as bad ideas from local government go, maybe this one isn’t that bad at all.

In der Ersten Verordnung zum Sprengstoffgesetz heißt es: “Das Abbrennen pyrotechnischer Gegenstände in unmittelbarer Nähe von Kirchen, Krankenhäusern, Kinder- und Altersheimen sowie Reet- und Fachwerkhäusern ist verboten.” Kommunen können darüber hinaus weitere Verbotsbereiche bestimmen.

Silvester Still More Deadly Than Atomkraft

More Germans get injured and die EVERY year by fireworks while celebrating on New Year’s Eve than have ever been injured by German nuclear power plants (no fatalities).

Fireworks

Especially now, I suppose, now that the last few reactors running will soon be turned off for good.

No, I haven’t the slightest idea what the connection is here, either. Ha! Other than perhaps… Germans FEEL that nuclear energy is more dangerous although they KNOW that getting drunk and shooting rockets at one another is a very real and present danger. And hey, what you FEEL wins. Loses?

System One Thinking: System one thinking is automatic, unconscious, lightening fast and generates strong feelings of certainty. System one decisions are difficult to put into words other than ‘it feels right’.

Zerfetzte Hände, schwere Verbrennungen, Tod: Die Silvesternacht hat nicht nur viel Freude, sondern auch einiges Leid gebracht. Mehrere Menschen starben durch Raketen und Böller, andere stürzten aus dem Fenster oder vom Balkon.

This pig foot could be yours!

After you strap a Polish firecracker on it and blow it up on New Year’s Eve, that is. Although… Why you would want to do this is beyond me (like lots of things that get done here).

Germans love blowing stuff up on New Year’s, you see, but they just don’t trust foreign explosive imports (sound familiar?). And a certain annual anti-Polish-firework-movement has even become a near-ritual kinda thang here. German newspapers and cops love to issue dramatic warnings about Polen Böller (Polish fireworks) right before the fireworks hit the fan.

And that’s what this picture is all about. Cops in Berlin and elsewhere are trying to frighten the pants off everybody by showing them what an illegal Polish firecracker can do to an unarmed pig’s foot (don’t worry, they had the decency to kill the pig first). German firecrackers just don’t put holes in your pigs feet like that, I assume.

Anyways, be careful out there this year, people. Blow up your pigs feet and other objects properly and with great care. And buy German. First, I mean.

And while we’re at it, Happy New Year!