First They Come For Your Fireworks

Then they introduce a speed limit on your autobahn. “Whatever is not expressly permitted is strictly forbidden” in Germany.

Fireworks

Could Germany ban personal fireworks? – Across the world, fireworks are an essential part of New Year’s Eve celebrations. Germans especially love setting off their own pyrotechnics, but some places have now imposed limited bans — for good reason…

Germany’s laissez-faire approach to pyrotechnics, however, has serious consequences. Fireworks harm the environment, and exploding pyrotechnics can startle and shock animals as well as little children…

Alles was nicht ausdrücklich erlaubt ist, ist verboten.

Why Weren’t These Women In The Safety Area?

Where they belong, I mean. Unverantwörtlich (irresponsible) of them, I find.

Berlin

Several clearly intoxicated women ventured out of Berlin’s new “safety area” during New Year’s Eve celebrations last night and were promptly sexually assaulted by those for whom the safety area had originally been set up to protect. Or at least I assume that’s why the thing had been set up. This led to the arrest of several of these poor blameless victim types by undercover cops. Don’t these women ever think about the consequences of their actions?

In what kind of a dream world are you living in, girls? Safety areas are the latest craze in German cities and everybody knows the rules. If you don’t, go get informed already. Get with the plan and stop being a public nuisance.

Auch zwei Jahre nach den Silvester-Übergriffen in Köln ist die Angst vor sexueller Gewalt bei den Feierlichkeiten groß. Berlin richtet nun eine Schutzzone für Frauen ein. Auch andere Städte haben ihr Sicherheitskonzept angepasst.

Somebody Call The Tradition Commission!

Oh, they’ve contacted you already? Good. Whew.

Lead

Tradition can be a dangerous thing, folks. Just look at the old German New Year’s Eve custom of Bleigießen – telling fortunes by the shapes made when molten lead is dropped into cold water. Awful. As you can well imagine, countless millions have been maimed or died in the process. And did you know that they actually do this without proper supervision in the privacy of their own homes?

Thank goodness the EU is here to help. A new European Union directive has finally been enacted that prohibits this dangerous practice once and for all. Tonight will be the last time Germans will be allowed to recklessly place their lives and the lives of their children in danger.

This kind of stuff gets me right here. I really get emotional. Today the lead, tomorrow Santa Claus. The EU marches on.

Happy New Year!

Bye, bye, Blei: Im Zuge der neuen Chemikalienverordnung der EU müssen die Deutschen ab 2018 auf das Bleigießen an Silvester verzichten.

PS: Remember to be extra careful with those Polish firecrackers tonight, people.

German Of The Day: Nafris

That’s short for North African men.

Nafris

And the police in Cologne “did good” on New Year’s Eve by aggressively questioning, detaining and expelling the roughly thousand (1000) North African men who came to Cologne’s central station to try to raise hell with German women again, just like they had done the previous year (Why are these multiple offenders still in Germany, you ask? Practically everybody else in Germany is asking themselves that same question these days, too.).

But the police in Cologne “did bad” by using the word Nafris, German Green women tell us. Because, well, that’s short for North African men.

Get it? Me, neither.

Am HBF werden derzeit mehrere Hundert Nafris überprüft. Infos folgen.

Whose Fingers Are These?

Happy New Year already.

Fingers

Police in Leipzig found two fingers somebody had blown off last night that nobody had claimed yet so they called Sherlock Holmes for help, I assume. He must have suggested that they call the emergency medical service number because when they did they were able to locate a patient matching the description perfectly. Missing two fingers, that is.

Somebody in Duisburg blew off three fingers. I haven’t got the missing finger count here in Berlin yet but there were fourteen serious incidents so I’m betting on a least a dozen. The main thing is that everybody has a good time, I say.

Alkohol und Schwarzpulver – eine fatale Mischung für einen Mann, der am Hauptbahnhof gefeiert hatte.

German Of The Day: Böller, Pfannkuchen, Pfefferspray

Silvester (New Year’s Eve) preparations are in full swing here in Germany, folks. So for any of you who might be enjoying the New Year’s Eve celebrations here tomorrow please keep these German words in mind.

Mace

Böller are firecrackers, usually big honking firecrackers, that Germans love blowing up for hours and hours and hours and hours on end, preferably blowing off a finger or two in the process. This is an ancient Germanic tradition that goes back to the Roman era. In Germania, Tacitus tells us, the Germanen often flipped off Roman soldiers during New Year’s Eve celebrations but, being drunk, were easily captured and then got their Stinkefinger cut off as punishment. After the Romans left new ways of removing fingers had to be developed.

Pfannkuchen or Berliner Pfannkuchen or just Berliner are pancakes, eaten in massive amounts around midnight. This tradition goes back to the 1950s when a Berlin housewife messed up an American doughnut recipe by forgetting to add the hole and putting way too much jam filling inside instead.

Pfefferspray is pepper spray or mace and is a new tradition that began shortly after last year’s Silvester celebrations, introduced in Cologne by another Kulturkreis (cultural circle), origins unknown.

In Sicherheit feiern – Mit Pfefferspray durch die Silvesternacht?

German Of The Day: Kultureller Austausch

That means cultural exchange. You know, like the one that took place in Cologne on New Year’s Eve (not to mention in Hamburg, Stuttgart, Bielefeld, etc.)?

Cologne

Here are a few examples of the mindset of some of the young men who participated in the festivities that night (in a report filed by the Cologne police):

After being confronted by the cops, one guy said “I’m a Syrian. You have to be friendly to me! Frau Merkel invited me.”

Another guy, after ripping up his residence permit in front of another cop, said “You can’t do anything about it. I’ll just get a new one tomorrow.”

Police trying to help some of the victims were held back by some of these men, others refused to leave the area after the police ordered them to do so, witnesses were threatened if they dared to identify any of them doing the harassment… You know, stuff like that. Nothing for anybody to get all hot and bothered about.

Der Verfasser des Berichts zieht ein düsteres Fazit: Den Maßnahmen der Beamten sei mit einer Respektlosigkeit gegegnet worden, “wie ich sie in 29 Dienstjahren noch nicht erlebt habe.”

If It Looks Like Dog !%#*, And Smells Like Dog !%#*, Then…

It’s still not allowed to be called dog !%#*.

Hamburg

Move along folks, move along. Nothing to see here. And this has absolutely positively nothing at all to do with Germany’s WAY out of control open-arms refugee policy. So don’t even bring that up.

German officials sought to reassure the public on Tuesday after scores of women reported being sexually assaulted and robbed by what witnesses described as large groups of Middle Eastern-looking men during the New Year celebrations.

While security officials said it was unclear whether the perpetrators were recently arrived migrants, the assault reports are feeding into a simmering debate about the impact of the more-than 1 million refugees who arrived in the country last year, mainly from the Middle East, Afghanistan and Africa.

No “High Abstract Threat” Here

These puppies will blow your fingers clean off.

Silvester
You folks have a Happy New Year anyway!

In der Hauptstadt werden mehrere Hunderttausend Menschen auf einer rund zwei Kilometer langen Feiermeile zwischen Brandenburger Tor und Siegessäule erwartet. Hinweise auf konkrete Anschlagsplanungen in Berlin gebe es nicht, betonte ein Polizeisprecher. Es herrsche aber eine hohe abstrakte Gefährdung.