This Could Mean War

If China won’t let a German warship into one of their harbors who else is going to fix it over there? They may have to blast their way in.

China denies German warship entry into harbor, Berlin says – China has denied a German warship on a mission to the contested South China Sea entry into a harbor, a German Foreign Ministry spokesperson said on Wednesday.

The ship involved is the frigate Bayern, the spokesperson told a news briefing, but did not identify the Chinese harbor. The vessel set sail from Germany last month for a six-month mission to the South China Sea.

“China has decided that it does not want a harbor visit, and we took notice of that.”

But Who Is Going To Tow It Back?

It won’t be China. German warships usually go kaputt, you know. And the German Navy doesn’t really, well, exist.

Although if the Germans ask the Chinese really nicely…

German warship ‘Bayern’ heads to the Indo-Pacific – The German navy’s frigate “Bayern” set sail on Monday for the Indo-Pacific region, fully loaded with Berlin’s aspirations to play a small role in the geopolitical standoff between China and the West.

The first such deployment in almost 20 years is meant to uphold freedom of navigation in international waters, protect “open societies” and express support for regional partners sharing Germany’s values, Defense Minister Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer was quoted as saying in a statement.

German Of The Day: Wrack

That means wreck. No, not a wreck like the SPD. One like the battleship SMS Scharnhorst.

Scharnhorst

The wreckage of a World War I German armoured battlecruiser has been discovered off the coast of the Falkland Islands.

The SMS Scharnhorst, the flagship of Admiral Maximilian Graf von Spee’s East Asia Squadron, was sunk on 8 December 1914 during the Battle of the Falkland Islands, a crucial naval battle in the early days of the First World War.

The discovery is a major breakthrough in the quest to locate all of the German squadron’s ships lost during the battle.

“Suddenly she just came out of the gloom with great guns poking in every direction.”

The Case Of The Missing Navy

OK, practically non-existent navy.

The German military commissioner is always the last to know, I guess.

Ship

He, too, has now determined that the German navy does not have enough ships (and we don’t even want to start thinking about their submarines). Not that the warships they do have will ever actually be used as warships or anything, just sayin’.

New ships are apparently too technologically complex to operate, it seems. And the older ships can’t seem to get the parts they need due to excessive bureaucracy and end up stranded indefinitely in dry dock.

He did have some good news, however. The German navy is really good at mothballing their older ships. Six of the 15 older frigates were taken out of service in exemplary fashion. Without being replaced by new ones, of course. Aber immerhin (but still).

“Es sollte keine neue maritime Mission für Nato, EU oder Uno mehr dazukommen. Der Marine gehen die einsatzfähigen Schiffe aus.”

Germany

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Fregate

Because somebody has to admire them.

Only… The German navy doesn’t want this F125 super-frigate they just bought. They want their money back. Or at least have it fixed or something. She doesn’t work right. Like, not at all. Damn. This must be the same boatyard that makes Germany’s submarines.

Zu schwer und zu schief – Fregatte F125 Unsere neue Super-Fregatte – noch nicht im Dienst und schon veraltet.

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Bundeswehr On The Front Line Again

When it comes to fighting for German weapon system exports, I mean. Talk about your military industrial complex. The Germans sure have one – and are clearly in denial about it – which is the real news item here if you ask me. Take the latest sale of frigates to Algeria, for instance (I mean please).

These pacifistic (German made) and very expensive peaceships not only make big profits for traditional Waffenschmiede (weapons makers) like Thyssen-Krupp Marine-Systeme, they finally give Germany’s alibi army something vernünftig (reasonable) to do: Train the folks who might actually be using these weapons one day – and in a thoroughly German thorough way, too, I am sure.

Who says the Bundeswehr isn’t an effective force? No, not a fighting one, as a sales force.

“Die Ausbildung wird in Deutschland und auf Hoher See stattfinden.”