Save Chico!

But always keep him fed really, really well, OK?

Chico

It’s German oddity time again. They may not care much for humans but when it comes to dogs they’re, well, nuts. More like wacko, really. Bonkers, if you get my drift. And that dogs are welcome in restaurants here is the least of it. Chico up there, for instance, gets to eat anything he wants anywhere he wants anytime he wants – his owners included.

Members of the public in Germany have launched an online petition to stop Chico the dog from being put down after he mauled his disabled owner and her son to death last week.

The owners, named by authorities as Lezime K, 52, and her son Liridon, 27, were found dead on the floor of their Hanover home after Chico attacked them last Tuesday.

But authorities have been forced to reconsider whether to put the dog down after more than 250,000 signed a petition to let him live (they think the city should have known that the dog was dangerous – your own stupid decisions are always somebody else’s fault over here).

Warum tun diese Hunde das?

Israel

Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.

Israel

Because somebody has to admire them.

The contract will be signed in the coming weeks, German parliament member Fritz Felgentreu, responsible for defense affairs in the German Social Democratic Party, told “Globes.”

The German Ministry of Defense estimates the cost of the agreement, which includes leasing five Heron TP UAVs manufactured by IAI in cooperation with Airbus, at €1 billion over nine years.

But Nobody Said We Couldn’t Do It Until Now

Trump is right about trade and Merkel needs to do something about it, former German state secretary says.

Trade

In early March, Trump started by implementing tariffs on aluminum and steel imports — measures that did not represent a big impact for China, but did for countries like Japan and potentially Europe too.

Germany has also faced international criticism for its trade surplus, which means its exports outweigh its imports, as some see it as unfair, imbalanced and a cause for protectionism elsewhere.

“Germany is really out there as the main culprit, so to say, because Germany has the highest surplus, much higher than China in terms of GDP… Germany has to do something against it, that’s absolutely clear,”

What, Me Worry?

About the number of Salafi/Salafist movement followers doubling in Germany in just five years?

Salafists

It’s not like they’re terrorists or anything, right? Right? I can’t hear you. But they are for the introduction of the sharia and against democracy and thus against the rule of law (our law). So what’s not to like about these guys?

And they are really snappy dressers, too, by the way. If you’re into that Middle Ages oriental flying carpet kind of thing.

The Salafi movement or Salafist movement or Salafism is an ultra-conservative reform branch or movement within Sunni Islam that developed in Arabia in the first half of the 18th century. It advocated a return to the traditions of the salaf, who are the first three generations of scholars after the Prophet Muhammad.

The Salafist doctrine is centered around the concept of looking back to a prior historical period in an effort to understand how the contemporary world should be ordered. They reject religious innovation or bid’ah, and support the implementation of sharia (Islamic law).”

Für die Scharia, gegen die Demokratie: Die deutsche Salafisten-Szene mit ihrer steinzeitlichen Auslegung des Islam wächst rasant. Doch sind alle Salafisten auch Terror-Verdächtige?

But Is It Also The World’s Last?

Do you promise?

Dachshund

German dachshund museum in Passau ‘a world first’ – A new museum in the Bavarian city of Passau celebrates Germany’s – and the world’s – affection for the dachshund.

More than 4,500 toys and other items showcase the breed popularly called the “sausage dog”, a symbol of Bavaria.

“The world needs a sausage dog museum.”

I Would Rather Have Venezuela

Well received? “Berlin’s bid for UN Security Council seat was well received, but questions remain.”

UN

I don’t have any questions. No way. Go with Venezuela. At least you know where the Venezuelans stand when it comes to the question of shouldering responsibility. They don’t stand there very well, of course, but at least you know where they stand. Germans just talk the talk. And don’t even get embarrassed when they get caught doing so.

Maas highlighted the fact that Germany is one of the largest UN contributors. He also expressed how grateful he was for the trust he felt was given to Germany at the UN, describing Berlin’s bid for a rotating Security Council seat as a way to try to give back some of the trust.

“We are shouldering responsibility already and we are prepared to shoulder responsibility in the future.”

Turkey

Beautiful German weapon sales of the week.

Tanks

Because somebody has to admire them.

Just in time for the Easter march, too!

German Chancellor Angela Merkel said on Wednesday Turkey’s military offensive in Syria’s northern town of Afrin was unacceptable and she criticized Russia for “just watching” the continuing attacks by Syrian forces on eastern Ghouta.

Obwohl die Bundesregierung die türkische Offensive in Afrin als “inakzeptabel” bezeichnet, genehmigte sie seit deren Beginn Rüstungsexporte in Millionenhöhe an die Türkei.

German Of The Day: Entschädigung

That means compensation.

Fucking

Hey, what’s in a name, right? The sex site Pornhub has published a YouTube video in which it offers the Austrian town of Fucking – along with a few other towns also having interesting names (listed below) – lifetime free access to its content.

It’s called the Premium Places Program and is meant to help soothe the mental anguish these poor townsfolk must have to go through.

“Where were you born, son?” “You got married where?” “And just where is this cemetary located?”

“In Fucking, Austria, I said. You deaf or something?”

Auch La Vagina in Italien, Orgy in Frankreich, Rectum in den Niederlanden, Bitsch in der Schweiz (Kanton Wallis) und Cumming in den USA gehören unter anderem zu den auserwählten Orten.

Maybe The Germans Mean Business After All

When it comes to deporting asylum seekers who have been turned down here.

Afghanistan

They actually just sent a plane with rejected asylum seekers to Afghanistan, for instance. And it was full, too. Full of cops and other German authorities, I mean. Only ten (10) Afghans were actually on the plane. You have to start somewhere, I guess. At this rate the bulk of those to be deported will have left the country by the time they meet retirement age.

Ein Sprecher des Bundesinnenministeriums teilte mit, an Bord seien zehn Passagiere gewesen. Mit insgesamt elf Sammelabschiebungen seit Dezember 2016 hat Deutschland damit 198 Männer nach Afghanistan zurückbringen lassen.

 

You Must Have Your Papers

This is Germany, after all. You can’t just leave the country without the proper paperwork.

Papers

That is why there are some 65,000 asylum seekers in Germany at the moment (this number will climb, of course) who have been turned down but who are nevertheless geduldet (tolerated, permitted to stay), can’t be deported because they don’t have the passports or travel documents needed to to be sent back home again – often enough to countries that don’t even want them back. What a mess.

This is Germany, like I said. The same 65,000+ didn’t need any paperwork to enter the country but they sure the hell better have some on their way out. Otherwise they’re in big trouble. And the Germans will make them stay. If I made this stuff up no one would believe me.

Die Zahl abgelehnter Asylbewerber und Migranten ohne Aufenthaltsrecht, die wegen fehlender Papiere nicht abgeschoben werden können, ist einem Medienbericht zufolge im vergangenen Jahr deutlich gestiegen.