What a surprise!

Not.

Everybody knows what’s going on. Just like everybody knows nothing will be done to stop it.

Germany: Violent crime reaches 15-year high — report. Germany recorded more than 214,000 criminal acts of violence last year, according to official police statistics. Overall crime also rose, according to data seen by the German paper Welt am Sonntag.

The number of suspects arrested rose by 7.3% to 2.246 million and 41.3% of them did not have a German passport.

Among the people without German nationality who were charged, 402,514 were described as refugees, asylum seekers and those who entered the country illegally.

In 2023, the offense of unauthorized entry rose 40% over the previous year, to 93,158 cases, while the offense of unauthorized stay increased by nearly 29% to 187,059 cases.

A third of crimes (1.971 million) were theft offenses, which rose 10.7% last year.

Having a “war-capable” army?

What will these crazy Germans dream up next?

Germany’s defense minister overhauls the military command as he seeks ‘war-capable’ armed forces – Germany’s defense minister has announced a plan to streamline and reorganize the country’s military command as part of efforts to make the armed forces of NATO’s most populous European member “war-capable.”

Berlin Airlift 2.0

Only now it’s time for some really heavy airlifting.

Botswana offers 20,000 elephants to Germany in diplomatic spat over trophy hunting – Botswana’s president challenged Berlin to take on 20,000 elephants – saying “it’s not a joke” – while opposing Germany’s proposed restrictions on the import of hunting trophies.

President Mokgweetsi Masisi suggested in an interview with German newspaper Bild that Berlin should try living with elephants to experience the challenges the endangered species bring to the community.

Mr Masisi was responding to Germany’s environment ministry suggesting earlier this year that there should be tougher rules against importing hunting trophies.

Botswana’s president said Germans should “live together with the animals, in the way you are trying to tell us to”.

Is 666 still allowed?

It’s numbers like these that rune the sport.

Adidas bans fans from adding ‘44’ to German team football shirt – Kit’s resemblance to infamous SS rune of Nazi paramilitary wing unintentional, company says.

Adidas has banned football fans from customising the German national shirt with the number 44 due to its perceived resemblance to the symbol used by Nazi SS units during the second world war.

Germany now greener than Green

I guess you could call this the high-water mark of Greenness.

Germany becomes the biggest EU country to legalise recreational cannabis – Germany on Monday became the biggest EU country to legalise recreational cannabis, despite fierce objections from opposition politicians and medical associations.

“From our point of view, the law as it is written is a disaster,” Katja Seidel, a therapist at a cannabis addiction centre for young people in Berlin, told AFP.

German of the day: “Planetary Health Menüs”

That means, well, I’m not really sure what that means.

I think it means Planet Earth has to go on a diet. Is that how they’re saving it now?

‘People mustn’t feel meat is being taken away’: German hospitals serve planetary health diet.

That’s right. People mustn’t think meat is being taken away just because we’ve taken away the meat. Our meals still meat the minimum daily requirements of… what? Of what we require our patients not to eat.

German of the day: Die Schnauze voll haben

Having the snout full means to be fed up with it, to be sick to death of it.

And the German Greens are filling up everybody’s snouts these days.

Germans Fed Up With Greens as Founding Member Resigns – The aggressive policies of the German Greens have alienated not only many voters in Germany but also their own supporters, including one of the founders of the party who has accused them of pursuing a warmongering foreign policy…

Annalena Baerbock, the young, inexperienced minister of foreign affairs, has promised to introduce a ‘feminist foreign policy,’ but she seems helpless in the face of the momentous challenges posed by the Russian-Ukraine war. The Greens have converted from a ‘pacifist’ party into the most belligerent party of all.

Breaking News: Isaiah, Ezekiel and Jeremiah are now right-wing white supremacists

And I’m not even going to get into the patriarchy part. Old Testament prophets go home!

You can’t make this stuff up, people.

‘We are dealing with fundamentalist rightwingers’: Berlin statues are latest battleground in Germany’s culture wars – Monuments erected on the Stadtschloss are an ‘infiltration’ of the city and its skyline by nationalists, say critics.

“It appears that we are dealing with a targeted infiltration of the Berlin palace by fundamentalist rightwingers who want to turn it into symbol of a Christian and thereby ‘white’ ethnic Germany.”

Almost 70% of Germans supportive of Hamas attack on Israel

More than two-thirds (69%) of Germans consider Hamas’ terrorist attack on Israel to have been justified in view of the many civilian casualties, according to the results of a new survey published on Friday.

Or something like that. I forget the details.

Of 1,296 people polled for the ZDF broadcaster, 87% also said the West should exert more pressure on Israel to improve the supply of food and medicine to the population in the Gaza Strip. Only 7% did not agree with this statement.

German of the day: Patient*in

Just kidding. That was the German of yesterday. No more “gender star” for you!

It’s Patientin. As in female patient. Maybe it’s even the patient, female or otherwise, who thought up the gender star and all this other nonsense too.

Germany’s Bavaria cracks down on gender-sensitive language – More and more German texts use asterisks, colons and other symbols to make language more inclusive. The conservative government in the southern German state of Bavaria, however, says this trend is driven by ideology.