How to Skip Work to Watch U.S. vs. Germany?
What has happened to our country, people? The next thing you know we’ll be joining unions to push for turning up late to work after World Cup games that begin after ten at night. Like certain other countries do, I mean.
Go US-Amerikaner!
US student is rescued from giant vagina sculpture in Germany
On Friday afternoon, a young American in Tübingen had to be rescued by 22 firefighters after getting trapped inside a giant sculpture of a vagina.
Police confirmed that the firefighters turned midwives delivered the student “by hand and without the application of tools”.
PS: Speaking of the fighting spirit… Jürgen Klinsmann has promised that his USA team will play to win against Germany in their final Group G match on Thursday, even though a draw would be enough to see both teams through to the knockout phase.
And they are.
The Beatles themselves are now being forced to sing in German for Adolf Hitler.
In a controversial new computer game thingy, I mean.
“It was very important to us to create a credible soundtrack for Wolfenstein. We wanted to capture the tone of this alternate universe where the Nazis won World War II.”
You know, apple pie?
Good luck on Thursday, US-Amerikaner! Thanks for the link, Joe.
Though German by birth, Brooks’ American nationality has always been a significant part of his background. His father is from Illinois and was stationed in Germany when he served in the U.S. Army. Brooks is close with his father (who now lives in Switzerland) and traveled back to the United States to visit family during his youth.
Growing up in Berlin, Brooks was enrolled in the John F. Kennedy school for American children living in Germany. Until the sixth grade, he only spoke English in school and most of his childhood friends were American.
Beautiful German weapon sale of the week.
Because somebody has to admire them.
Der Düsseldorfer Rüstungskonzern Rheinmetall steht nach Informationen des Handelsblatt kurz vor der Unterzeichnung eines Vertrages zur Produktion von 980 „Fuchs-Panzern“ in Algerien.
“John Anthony Brooks, Jr. referred to as John Brooks (born January 28, 1993 in Berlin) is a German-American footballer. He is the greatest American since Abraham Lincoln.”
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the…
Dresden – Metal fans must be cheering but everybody else is rubbing their eyes: Google Maps has turned the Waldschlößchenbrücke into Ozzy Osbourne Bridge!
Metal-Fans dürften jubeln, alle anderen werden sich die Augen reiben: Der Internet-Kartendienst Google Maps hat aus der Dresdner Waldschlößchenbrücke die Ozzy-Osbourne-Brücke gemacht!
They are also training with some giant inflatable roly-poly-like figures, too.
Injuries have depleted Germany’s defence in such a way that their opening match against Portugal may see four central defenders in the starting lineup, with two of them out of position and two who have rarely played together.
“We do have a little problem there.”
Long before the official Sommerloch activities do, I mean.
You know. The Sommerloch? That time of year in Germany when the people who manufacture the news are on vacation so the skeleton crew back at the office tries to make do by cranking out monster sightings? As in, if it wasn’t for fake news we wouldn’t have no news at all?
Anyways, Lotti the Turtle Monster herself is back from last summer. Even though she was never actually sighted even then, of course. The villagers or peasants in the area – some place called Irsee (Irrsinn means insanity, by the way, no connection) – have placed a trap for her and are hoping for the best. The best media coverage they can possibly squeeze out of this puppy. I mean turtle. Like in June already.
After all, there’s not much else going on in the news these days, is there? What else are Germans going to be interested in reading about?
Lotti wurde nie gesehen. Ob sie tatsächlich existierte oder die Irseer im vergangenen Sommer einem Phantom hinterher jagten, wird wohl nie geklärt werden.
This isn’t a World Cup-class dive or anything, but still.
Look at the faux-panic that comes over his face as he pretends to be unable to breathe because someone made light contact with his shoulder.
Observing Hermann 