Ronald McDonald Sees All

December 13, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Big Brother, Bombings, Bombs, Bonn, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, McDonald's, Paranoia, Satire, Surveillance, Terrorism, Terrorists Leave a comment

You can run, suspected terrorist types, but you can’t hide from the Golden Arches.

After discovering and destroying a “highly dangerous” explosive device at Bonn’s central train station, German police are now patting themselves on the back for having already made their first arrest in the case, all thanks to the dreaded (in Germany) security camera footage in use there.

No, not the footage from the security cameras aimed at the platform where the device was found – there was no coverage there – this footage came from the security cameras used at the central station’s US-Amerikan McDonald’s restaurant.

You know, die totale Überwachung (the total surveillance) state and all that? Germans don’t like that kind of stuff for some reason (that terrorist suspect dude doesn’t like it much either, I bet). It has to do with data privacy or Google Street View or something. I forget.

Would you like fries with that?

Zwar appellieren Datenschützer, bei der Überwachung öffentlichen Raumes die Verhältnismäßigkeit zu wahren. Doch etwa in Ballungszentren Großbritanniens hat man sich an flächendeckende Kamerapräsenz längst gewöhnt – und davon kann die Polizei häufig profitieren.

Damn

August 29, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, History Tags: Bombs, Munich, World War II 1 Comment

They really made these things to last.

Arson Attacks Disrupt Berlin’s Disrupted Rail Traffic

October 12, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Hauptbahnhof, Humor, Leftist Terror, Satire, Terrorism, Weapons Exports 2 Comments

Sort of. With some 2000 trains now running late in Berlin after the discovery of seven homemade explosives along the city’s railways these past three days – and none of the passangers having noticed yet because trains are always late here – the leftist peacenik terrorist group responsible for the diabolical attacks has confirmed that it would have caused “like considerable way more damage and maybe even have managed to blow something up big time if any of the freakin’ trains to be attacked would have been on time like for once already.”

But still… “This morning we slowed down the German capital and its function as a global player in the export of armaments,” said a statement from the group released Monday on a leftist website.

Anti-War Bombs Real Duds

October 10, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hate, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Anarchy, Berlin, Berlin Central Station, Bombing, Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Hauptbahnhof, Peace, Protest Leave a comment

All we are saying, is give peace a chance (or we’ll burn your asses up).

German peacenik activist types protesting Germany’s so-called military engagement in Afghanistan just attempted an arson attack at the north end of one of Berlin Hauptbahnhof’s tunnels (the high-speed link to Hamburg).

Railway employees discovered the device in time and experts secured “seven bottles filled with flammable liquid bundled together and linked to a fuse.”

Peace now or we’ll kill you? How refreshing or something. There is a certain logic here somewhere, I’m sure. I just haven’t found it yet.

The “Hekla Reception Committee — Initiative for more Eruptions in Society” — in an apparent reference to Iceland’s Hekla volcano — claimed responsibility.

That didn’t take long

November 18, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Bombs, German, Germans, Germany, Terror, Terrorism Leave a comment

Or as Stern puts it: How Concern Turns to Hysteria.

The Namibian Connection?

“Nothing is clear for now. It has not been determined if the package was bound for Germany, nor even if it contains a functional explosive device. It is also questionable if the package was about to be loaded onboard or not. The proper headline should read ‘suspicious piece of baggage discovered that might have possibly been destined for Germany.'”

“Namibia steht nicht auf der Terrorismus-Landkarte.”

We surrender already!

April 21, 2010 By Hermann Observer in History, Hysteria Tags: Army, Berlin, Bombs, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Satire Leave a comment

Just stop holding hands and singing We Shall Overcome!

Not even those rugged German army types can take this kind of abuse forever. After years of moaning and sniveling and peaceniking about saving the heath and health of the so-called “Bombodrom” in Kyritz-Ruppiner Heide near Berlin, the Bundeswehr has finally rolled over and decided to close down its infamous military training area.

It had been a shocking Vorgang (course of events) or something. They actually practiced dropping bombs here once, I think. Maybe twice. Fake bombs of course, but still. Damn, where is the Bundeswehr going to drop their fake bombs now?

Bundesverteidigungsminister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU) erklärte in Berlin, die Bundeswehr löse diesen Standort mit seinen 80 Mitarbeitern vollständig auf.