Artificial Outrage

And they’re not very good at it either. The Germans, this time along with the French, are doing their “friends don’t spy on friends” routine again.

France and Germany are “seeking full clarity” on a report claiming that one of Denmark’s intelligence agencies helped the United States spy on several senior European officials, including German Chancellor Angela Merkel, French President Emmanuel Macron said Monday.

Just so you know who you’re dealing with, here are just a handful of the German cases of friends spying on friends I’ve collected over the years:

NSA May Possibly Not Have Been The Very First Intelligence Agency Ever To Spy On Other Government Officials

N-S-A, B-N-D, Spy-On-You-And-Me

“Spying Among Friends Is Never Acceptable”

“Friends Don’t Spy On Friends”

More “Friends Don’t Spy On Friends”

German Spies Don’t Spy On Friends

More Friends Don’t Spy On Friends Again

More Friends Don’t Spy On Friends Stuff

Germans Threaten Americans With Non-Negotiable Friendship

In a sly move calculated to add more leverage to the German position in the on-going trade war troubles with Washington, German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas is now headed there for talks in which he will openly threaten US-Amerikans with “non-negotiable” friendship should they not budge on their demands.

Friendship

Officially there to open the Year of German American Friendship, Maas made no secret about Germany’s intentions. He warned, “Our goal is not to just maintain the relationship we have with the United States but rather improve it.” Adding, “It (the Year of German American Friendship) is designed so that people learn more about Germany than any normal American person could ever possibly want to learn and, what is more, this will be done in an annoyingly friendly and courteous manner for, like, well, a whole year or something. Unless, of course, you lighten up with this tariff bullshit already. Here, let me shake your hand again.”

“Things that used to be taken for granted are no longer that way, they must be worked on.”

But That’s Only Because Two In Three Germans Don’t Have Any Friends

Survey: One in three Germans thinks sex with friends is okay.

Sex

The study was conducted ahead of the “International Day of Friendship” on July 30th, and asked 2,045 Germans their opinion about all aspects of friendship.

A full 60 percent of those surveyed said that, in a friendship between a man and woman, there stands a “risk” that one of the two will seek more than just friendship. About 20 percent of those surveyed said that a pure friendship between men and women simply is not possible.

Friends with benefits werden nun anscheinend von der breiten Bevölkerung akzeptiert.”

“Spying Among Friends Is Never Acceptable”

Go ask Angela Merkel, she’ll tell you.

Austria

Certain countries are above all that. Being located on the moral high ground like they are, you know.

Vienna has demanded an explanation from Berlin over reports that Germany’s BND agency spied on nearly 2,000 targets in Austria between 1999 and 2006. Austrian media said embassies were among the targets.

Top Austrian officials have called on Germany to clarify reports that its BND spy agency snooped on high-profile targets including embassies, international organizations, Austrian ministers and banks based in the Austrian capital…

Following revelations by NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden in 2013, German Chancellor Angela Merkel slammed the US for its extensive spying on targets in Germany. “Spying among friends is not at all acceptable,” she famously said in the wake of the scandal.

“Friends Don’t Spy On Friends”

Somebody said that once, not all to0 long ago, after some NSA Aufregung (excitement) about something somewhere. I forget where. But I couldn’t agree more. So, uh, where’s the outrage now?

Turkey

Now that Germany’s intelligence agency BND has revealed that NATO ally Turkey is one of five countries it is spying on, I mean.

Outrage won’t be necessary this time, I guess. It appears that Germany is finally coming clean and ready to admit to the world that Turkey has officially reached non-friend status so spying in this case is allowed.

Hey, what goes around comes around.

The news reports (of NSA spying in Germany) outraged Germans, leading to favorable attitudes about the United States falling to their lowest levels in years and creating a public and private sense of mistrust. Merkel has repeatedly called the U.S. spy program a breach of trust and noted that “friends don’t spy on friends.”