German Of The Day: Fortschritt

That means progress.

Germany’s Anti-Digital Law Is a Case Study in Stunting Progress – Germany just passed a law that completely bans digital contracts and signatures. Whether you’re a coder who finds jobs online, an Amazon delivery guy or a Dilbert character, you’ll now get the fine print of your terms on paper — the dead-tree kind. And it’ll have your new boss’s signature in just-dried ink. If employers provide a digital contract instead, they’ll get fined up to 2,000 euros ($2,049) for each instant.

German Energy Policy Has Led To A Dead End

The Germans were just too dead set on renewable energy, I guess.

A brain dead policy, if you ask me. Better dead than red (I mean green), I always say. If you push this renewable energy nonsense too far you’ll always come in dead last, energy-wise. Not having even enough energy to cremate your dead is a dead giveaway for how this green utopian dream world of theirs can be seen for what it really is: Dead and buried.

‘You Can’t Switch off Death,’ German Crematorium Boss Warns as Energy Crisis Looms – As Western sanctions heighten tensions between Europe and Moscow, the whole nation is on alert for a possible cut-off of supply by Russian state gas giant Gazprom.

Businesses, including crematoriums, are developing contingency plans to cope with rising gas costs and the risk it is unavailable at any price.

German Of The Day: Warmduscher

Literally, that means somebody who takes warm showers. Not ice cold like real men do. A wimp, in other words.

Thank goodness Vladimir Putin is in the process of finally changing all of that now.

German cities impose cold showers and turn off lights amid Russian gas crisis – Hanover is first large city to impose energy-saving measures and Berlin switches off monument spotlights.

Cities in Germany are switching off spotlights on public monuments, turning off fountains, and imposing cold showers on municipal swimming pools and sports halls, as the country races to reduce its energy consumption in the face of a looming Russian gas crisis.

Germany To Sell Howitzers

In a few years. To a country that won’t exist anymore by then.

Germany approves sale of 100 howitzers to Ukraine – Germany has approved the sale of 100 tank howitzers worth 1.7 billion euros to Ukraine, magazine Der Spiegel reported, citing a spokesperson for manufacturer Krauss-Maffei Wegmann (KMW).

KMW has already started manufacturing the howitzers, the Panzerhaubitze 2000 model, the full run of which which will take several years to complete, Spiegel said. It added that it was not yet clear when the first of the howitzers could be delivered.

German Of The Day: Klassenbester

That means the best in class, the best pupil.

That’s how Germans like to see themselves. Aber das war einmal: But that was once upon a time.

Eurozone crisis in reverse as southern states scold Germany over gas – Analysis: Southern European countries were unwilling to sign up to homogenous 15% cut in gas.

A decade after its government admonished southern European states to “do their homework” of painful fiscal changes to end a sovereign debt crisis, Germany is slowly adapting to the humbling reality of being worst-in-class when it comes to reliance on Russian gas.

German Of The Day: “Schwelle zur Rezession”

That means cusp of recession, as in being on it.

Germany on cusp of recession, says ifo, after business sentiment falls – German business morale fell more than expected in July as high energy prices and impending gas shortages push Europe’s largest economy to the cusp of recession, a survey showed on Monday.

The Ifo institute said its business climax index was 88.6, its lowest level in more than two years. June had also seen an unexpected drop to a downwardly revised reading of 92.2.

Germany Also Wants Unicorns, Candy Hearts And Free Beer For All

Germany wants clean, reliable energy. But first, to survive winter…

Germany is largely dependent on Russian energy, with half its natural gas and a third of its oil coming from that country. There’s currently no other way to quickly secure Europe’s supply of energy for heating, transportation, and industry, says the German government. But they’re trying. Leaders have decided to build liquefied natural gas terminals, which opens up new energy supplies but also raises a bevy of questions about Germany’s energy security.

Nuclear energy has been phased out, and renewables such as wind aren’t yet ready to pick up the slack, so lawmakers have decided that LNG is the answer to Germany’s energy crisis. They’ve announced plans to build two domestic LNG terminals, which re-gasify the supercooled form of natural gas that arrives on ships. Leasing floating terminals and securing supply via terminals elsewhere in Europe is also in the works. Essentially, Germany is trying to buy whatever it can, from wherever it can.

German Media Clearly Pissed Off By The Good News

This Putin guy really is a jerk.

Talk about being totally unreliable. The Russians did exactly what they said they were going to do. What’s he got up his sleeve this time?

Nord Stream 1 operator started gas deliveries after maintenance – German media reports.

Gas deliveries through the Nord Stream 1 pipeline have resumed on Thursday and gas was flowing again, Spiegel and daily FAZ reported, citing a report by German newswire dpa.