German Couple Waits Days To Be Offended By Naked Neighbor Using His Sauna

Butt naked. In Germany of all places. The nerve. Is nothing sacred?

Neighbors

In the latest example of the German habit of seeking legal rulings on the tiniest details of every day life, a man has won a case over the right to walk to the sauna in his garden in the altogether.

The 42-year-old, named only as Robert B under German privacy laws, installed a private sauna in his garden in Dortmund.

In common with most Germans, Robert B liked to take his sauna naked, and didn’t bother covering up on his way to and from the house, despite the fact he could be clearly seen from the next door garden.

His neigbour, named only as Hans L, was sufficiently offended at the sight to seek legal redress, and initially won a court order for Robert B to cover up.

But Robert B appealed against the decision, and this week succeeded in securing his right to parade around his garden in a state of undress.

Die Rechtslage war bisher nicht eindeutig. Infrage kommt § 118 des Ordnungswidrigkeitengesetzes. Darin heißt es: “Ordnungswidrig handelt, wer eine grob ungehörige Handlung vornimmt, die geeignet ist, die Allgemeinheit zu belästigen oder zu gefährden und die öffentliche Ordnung zu beeinträchtigen.”

When The German Anti-Terror Units Aren’t Sick The German Taliban Are

Only Germans can come up with Pretraumatic Stress Disorder. But now we can take this puppy up a notch higher.

Taliban

“German Taliban” Josef D. (the guy in the middle with the skin problem) joins a terrorist group, gets himself a Kalaschnikow, goes to Afghanistan intending to do that jihad thing but then gets Durchfall (diarrhea) and therefore cannot take part in all the cool attacks planned on US installations there so he has to return home to Germany where he promptly gets busted (I’m not sure for what, though).

Now his lawyer informs us that his Schuldfähigkeit (legal culpability) needs to be looked into very intensely and  thoroughly-like because not only does this guy have terrible awful diarrhea problems, he also suddenly seems to be suffering from some kind of mysterious mental disorder. Uh, wait a minute. Don’t all terrorists suffer from some kind of mysterious mental disorder?

Anyways, this all has a certain logic to it if you ask me. Germany is the number one country when it comes to doctor visits, after all. Politicians get sick and throw in the towel here all the time. German intellectuals regularly get ill or “burn out” while analyzing the world around them. A huge portion of German youth suffers from “social phobia” and half a million Germans are hopelessly “addicted” to the Internet. Hell, even the German Pope gets sick and has to go into early retirement, for crying out loud.

It’s just not easy being a German, I guess. Without getting sick, I mean. But like doesn’t somebody out there – who is German – have to do it?

Wegen einer chronischen Durchfallerkrankung habe er aber nicht an Anschlägen und Angriffen der Gruppe auf afghanische und US-Einrichtungen teilnehmen können, so die Bundesanwaltschaft.