German Tanks Finally Doing Something Useful

They have rolled in to occupy the city of Düsseldorf.


I mean they have rolled in to occupy themselves with Umweltschäden (ecological damage) in the city of Düsseldorf.

This damage was caused by a big honking storm that slammed Germany the other day. And this means war or something.

„Hier sieht‘s aus, wie nach dem Krieg.“


A Sound Panzer?

What will they tank of next?

The Sound Tank (or “Sound Panzer,” as Nowak refers to it in the video) is a reconfigured mini-dump truck that Nowak was able to transform into a colossal mobile soundsystem. Nowak designed the bass-bumping vehicle’s giant speaker wall with a hydraulic system, enabling him to raise it upright and point the 13 loudspeakers and three 18-inch subwoofers at any target.

Someone fired a gun next to Nowak’s ear as a young child, and as a result the artist lost the ability to hear high frequencies with his right ear. “That experience brought home to me the extent to which sound can shape reality,” Nowak muses in the video.

PS: For those interested in old school NSA stuff, there are some good shots of what is left of the old Teufelsberg facility in the video, too.

Berlin Starts Talking Tough To Russia After All

Sort of. Jeepers creepers already! This ought to stop old Vlad Putin dead in his tank tracks.


Germany should remove a pair of World War Two-era Soviet tanks standing on pedestals next to Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate in protest at Russia’s actions in Crimea and Ukraine, Germany’s best-selling newspaper Bild said on Tuesday.

Launching a petition to get rid of the two green T-34 tanks that have stood in front of the Soviet war memorial since it was built in 1945, Bild and Berlin tabloid B.Z. urged readers to send letters of protest to parliament against the war symbols.

Wir wollen keine Russen-Panzer am Brandenburger Tor!

Tanks For The Memories

Or if you combat ’em, join ’em?


The U.S. Army’s 69-year history of basing main battle tanks on German soil quietly ended last month when 22 Abrams tanks, a main feature of armored combat units throughout the Cold War, embarked for the U.S.

“There is no [U.S.] tank on German soil.”

Germany’s Latest Contribution To The Arab Spring

These must be special Panzer for Peace or something, these 200 ultra-modern Leopard battle tanks Germany is now prepared to supply to Saudi Arabia.

This is a dramatic reversal of Germany’s decade-long policy of not furnishing that zany authoritarian kingdom with heavy weapons and is clearly designed to send a strong message to freedom-loving Arab protesters everywhere (the Saudi military recently helped put down protests in Bahrain, if you recall).

Whether that is the right message or not, that’s another question.

According to the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute (SIPRI), the main buyers of German weapons systems in the years 2006 through 2010 were:

    Greece (with a share of 15 percent)

    South Africa (11 percent)

    Turkey (10 percent)

    South Korea (nine percent)

    Malaysia (seven percent)

SIPRI said that Germany advanced from fifth to third place among the biggest arms sellers between 1998 and 2009, even though a previous center-left government pledged in 2000 to pursue a “restrictive'” policy on exporting defense technology.

Tanks but no tanks

Vatertag (Father’s Day in Germany): „Motley crews of men drink until they drop, either in traditional fashion, tugging a handcart full of beer and spirits across the countryside, or by downing schnapps in a local bar.“

But this year a company in Brandenburg has come up with an alternative alcohol-free present for dads: tank-driving lessons. “Tanks fascinate all boys, big and small,” the Panzer Fun Driving School wrote in a recent press release. “We offer trips in armored tanks, driving around Germany’s biggest playground for men — it’s an ideal gift for Father’s Day.” Too late, Vatertag was yesterday. Maybe next year.

Tanked up for Father’s Day.