Only In Germany

I don’t make this stuff up, people.

Sami

As reported earlier, after finally deporting Osama bin Laden’s freeloading bodyguard (he and his family received welfare payments for years/decades while he worked as an Islamist hate preacher), German authorities have now realized that the other German authorities who did the deporting did not deport Sami A in the proper German legalese fashion so… Now they want him back. In order to deport him again. Only this time gründlich (thoroughly). Without any Pfusch (botching it).

It’s times like these I think there really is something to this old Oswald Spengler stuff.

Germany suspects 42-year-old Sami A. of working as a bodyguard to late al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden. A German court wants him to return from Tunisia after ruling his deportation was illegal.

Anwältin: Sami A. soll mit Visum nach Deutschland.

German Of The Day: Vorschriften

That means regulations. You know, like the regulations that were “intentionally” ignored 97% of the time while asylum requests were being processed at the BAMF in Bremen?

BAMF

So much for German efficiency, again. And chalk one up to German corruption, while we’re at it. Again.

Larry the lawyer and his other lawyer buddies must be having a real heyday up there. By the way, how can you tell when a lawyer is lying? Their lips are moving.

Anwälte bekamen 97 Prozent ihrer Asylfälle anerkannt.

German Thoroughness Grossing Refugees Out

It’s taking too long to get their asylum papers processed, you see. So now they’re suing. And winning, of course.

Lawyers

A Somali man has won his suit against the German government for failure to act on his asylum application. Despite their increased workload, the federal office for refugees now has three months to decide his fate.

It’s one thing to flee for your life and seek refuge in a country that is apparently willing to help you out. It’s quite another thing to actually have to wait for months until your paperwork gets processed. That’s unmenschlich (inhuman) or something. Just call Larry the Lawyer. He’ll make it happen.

“Sie behandeln uns wie in Syrien.”

That’s Almost German

The language, I mean. “Was Mir Sorgen?” Nice try. But way cool image, I must say.

Alfred

Well, it is a weird state of affairs when you cannot give away free porn to anonymous people who only visit your site because it has free porn.

Yes it is. But welcome to Germany, sort of. What, me worry (was, ich soll mir Sorgen machen)?

It was originally thought that the letters were sent because of a court error. However, Thomas Urmann of the legal firm U+C told the German newspaper Welt am Sonntag that they plan to investigate more infringements on porn streaming sites next year, a move that would set a worldwide precedent.