Tag Archives: Terrorists

Cukes, Kooks and Nukes

June 1, 2011 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

I tell you, DANGER is everywhere you look these days. If it’s not deadly organic cucumbers (sorry, Spain, we didn’t mean to ruin your cucumber industry with a false alarm like that, no hard feelings, OK?), it’s freakin’ Ikea alarm clock attacks by “The Easily-Broken Kids Room Furniture Liberation Army” in the Benelux (thanks, Joe).

And then of course there’s the ongoing, ever-growing radiation alarms after the Japan Nuclear Crisis in, uh, London and New York.

Stop the world I want to get off or something.

“Whatever the radiation in Tokyo at the moment, you can be fairly sure it is lower than natural background levels in many parts of the world.”

Islam Had Nothing To Do With This

March 4, 2011 By in Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

Damn. They haven’t even cleaned up the crime scene yet, I bet, and it’s apology-ahead-of-time time again already.

You’re familiar with the process: Make sure not to offend anybody after you’ve been attacked. Apologize in advance for any crazy connection that crazy people anywhere and everywhere might want to try to make between Islam and Islamic terrorists. There is no such connection. How could there be? Religion has nothing at all to do with attacks like these. And that’s the law (the Islamic one, I think).

And besides, these weren’t Germans who got shot. Otherwise you wouldn’t be reading commentaries like these while the gun is still smoking (should Germans ever get attacked here and commentaries like these do immediately appear, please correct me).

“It would obviously be wrong to blame Islam as a religion for this act. Many Muslims around the world distance themselves from violence and terror…”

Es wäre selbstverständlich falsch, diese Tat dem Islam als Religion zur Last zu legen. Weltweit distanzieren sich viele Muslime von Gewalt und Terror. Die friedlichen Revolutionen in Ägypten und Tunesien belegen, dass sich auch die muslimischen Völker nach Freiheit und Demokratie sehnen. Ihre grandiosen Siege waren die schwerste Niederlage für den Terror. Gewaltbereite Islamisten sind nur eine kleine, aber für Deutschland überaus gefährliche Gruppe. Die Behörden müssen alles tun, um diese Gruppe zu überwachen und zu entschärfen.

Germany Pulls Out Big Guns

January 2, 2011 By in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

The mullah regime in Tehran must be shaking in its boots now (do mullahs even wear boots?).

More than one hundred (100) prominent Germans have signed an open letter to the Iranian government calling for the release of two German journalists being held by the Iranians under the standard charge of espionage for interviewing the son of some woman down there who is going to be stoned to death for adultry–although I can’t really see why anybody would consider this being a newsworthy item or anything (the getting stoned for adultry part), but still.

The Iranians may regularly sneer in disdain at Merkel, Westerwelle and Co., but when folks like freakin’ Franz Beckenbauer get pissed off, things are going to start happening, and pronto.

And indeed, they already have. Clearly anticipating the Beckenbauer Vorstoß (foray), Iranians in the background (and there certainly seems to be a whole lot of those, don’t you think?) have convinced the woman they are about to murder to come out into the daylight for a few minutes to announce her intention to sue the journalist/spies in question for having had the audacity and/or nerve to interview her son.

And you thought Americans were litigation-happy.

“The woman who has been sentenced to death was allowed to leave her jail cell for a few hours to declare in front of western TV cameras that she would file a suit against our reporters. Does Iran really think that a strange farce like this will improve the credibility of its justice system abroad?”

Gottcha!

November 19, 2010 By in Habitudes, Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just kidding about that being a bomb yesterday, folks. Just testing, I mean.

Wasn’t that hysterical? And here you thought American companies couldn’t export any cool stuff anymore.

And today’s Fehlalarm (false alarm)? A suspicious object that wasn’t a bomb this time either caused an ICE train to be evacuated at Düsseldorf Hauptbahnhof (sorry, the linking is acting up a bit at the moment: http://www.stern.de/politik/deutschland/terrorgefahr-in-deutschland-fehlalarm-im-ice-attrappe-in-namibia-1625680.html)

“BKA officials have examined it and the result is that it is a so-called ‘real test suitcase’ from a U.S. company. This company produces alarm and detection systems and these test suitcases are made to test security measures.”

“There are grounds for concern but not for hysteria”

November 17, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

So you know what that means, don’t you? OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Funny how things clear up with time, don’t they? Just a few weeks ago warnings from “foreign partners” like this were “alarmist” and “abstract.”

Now security measures are being stepped up in Germany after Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere said there were “clear indications” of a terror plot targeting Germany.

I don’t get it. I thought all this talk about international terrorism was nothing but Panikmache (fear mongering) all these years, Germany? Like take a chill pill already.

“Nach dem Hinweis eines ausländischen Partners Deutschlands solle Ende November ein mutmaßliches Anschlagsvorhaben umgesetzt werden.”

It’s OK when Germany goes alarmist, I guess

November 4, 2010 By in Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As expected, now that stuff is happening HERE, the Germans start getting all nervous and fidgety and s#*!t and suddenly want the EU to agree to tighter air freight security and are basically hyperventilating all over the place, which is fine with me (it’s about time). The alarmists.

Although Europeans certainly do have enough to hyperventilate about these days. When it comes to planes, I mean.

Still abstract?

November 2, 2010 By in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

The terror danger in Germany, I mean? It was a few weeks ago, and warnings about it where dismissed as being “alarmist.”

Now a suspicious package turned up at German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s office, just a few hours after small mail bombs exploded outside the Russian and Swiss embassies in Athens. Honestly, isn’t it alarming how all packages are turning out to be suspicious these days?

Of course we do have to remember that these particular attacks are being blamed on far-left extremists and are therefore, technically speaking, not really terror attacks at all. Not here anyway.

“No link has been made with the recently discovered Yemen-based mail bomb plot, which used much more powerful devices.”

“Auch Deutschland in Gefahr?”

October 31, 2010 By in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

 Germany in danger too? How ya figure?

Wasn’t this the same German Interior Minister who claimed that warnings about possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks in Germany were “alarmist” just a few weeks back?

Now he’s all alarmed himself and has cancelled a planned trip to Israel in order to address the alarming news that the package bombs from Yemen destined for New York were transferred in Cologne and nobody like, uh, was alarmed. Or even noticed.

I guess the main reason they’re all pissed off about not having known that they were dealing with bombs bound for the United States is that they couldn’t take the proper precautionary measures. Before going ahead and transfering them to flights bound for the United States, I mean. Ordnung muss sein (order is necessary).

„Wir nehmen den Vorgang ernst, auch wenn Deutschland wohl nicht Anschlagsziel war.“