It Would Almost Be Cute

If it wasn’t so pitiful.

Police

As reported earlier, although they detest us (just like everybody else), Germans also blindly copy anything and everything braindead Americans do. Here’s a prime example. Their profile neurosis has got so out of hand that they are now trying to manufacture some kind of German George Floyd event. In Germany. With German cops. In the year 2020. Unbelievable.

Germany: Outrage grows over footage of police violence – 2 videos recorded in a month, showing police officers kneeling on suspects’ necks, likened to George Floyd.

Erschrocken und empört.

German Of The Day: Sperrzone

That means restricted area.

Frankfurt

For law abiding citizens. The rioters will still go wherever they want to go and do whatever they want to do anyway.

Police and security officials in Frankfurt, Germany, announced Monday they have banned late gatherings in that city’s opera square after a party there turned violent over the weekend, resulting in 39 arrests.

German of the Day 2: Migrationshintergrund. That means having a migrant background. As in, “the suspects are between 17 and 23 years of age and predominantly with migrant background.”

Die Tatverdächtigen seien zwischen 17 und 23 Jahre alt und überwiegend mit Migrationshintergrund.

Save Planet Earth’s Climate?

Hell yes! Count me in.

Climate 1

Climate 2

Clean up my own neighborhood? Nah, I think I’ll pass on that one.

A “Fridays for Future” demonstration will get 40,000 German environmental activists out on the street in no time. A call to clean up the local neighborhood on “World Cleanup Day” might get about 100 to 150 out of bed (here Frankfurt).

These World Cleanup Folks clearly don’t get the deal. Abstract heroics is were the money is – I mean, people are.

Nur rund 1000 kamen zum großen Aufräumen, sammelten vier Tonnen Müll. Am Main, in Sichtweite des Camps der „Fridays for Future“-Macher, verschlug es gerade mal 150 Freiwillige.

German Oddity #15

Germany is a place where huge underground (or in this case, underwater) bombs are routinely discovered all around the country and this barely even makes second page news.

Bomb

A World War II bomb found in a river in Frankfurt, Germany, was safely detonated, police said, yawning uncontrollably.

Weltkriegsbombe in Frankfurt – 30-Meter-Fontäne bei Sprengung

PS: More oddities here.

Maybe London’s Just Not All That Much Into You, Frankfurt

Now that national interest rates are up, I mean.

London

A German bid to buy the London Stock Exchange has been sunk by the EU competition watchdog.

The Frankfurt-based German exchange Deutsche Boerse was bidding to buy the LSE in a deal that critics have warned would be against Britain’s national interest.

The Art of the Deal: Die Europäische Union, aber auch die britische Regierung betreten damit ein völlig unbekanntes Gebiet. Desintegration war bislang nicht vorgesehen.

Drug Snugglers Getting Trickier All The Time

I mean smugglers.

Drugs

OK. So like how did that customs dude at Frankfurt Airport determine that there are two silicon implants filled with cocaine in there (500 grams each)?

He must have been given a hot tip. Although any boob could see that those were loaded. I guess she got busted.

Die „Bild“ berichtet über den skurrilen Fund der Zollbeamten. Demnach sei die Frau schon auf dem zehnstündigen Flug aus Südamerika nach Frankfurt wegen ihrer enormen Oberweite aufgefallen.

And You Thought US-Amerika Had Problems With Potholes

A Second World War bomb discovered under one of Germany’s busiest autobahns has blown a 65ft hole in the road after it exploded.

Pothole

Bomb disposal experts were forced to carry out a controlled explosion after being unable to defuse the 1,000lb British shell which was unearthed during construction work.

Der britische Blindgänger war neben der stark befahrenen Autobahn 3 in der Nähe des Frankfurter Flughafens bei Bauarbeiten gefunden worden. Um die Fundstelle wurde eine 1000-Meter-Sicherheitszone eingerichtet. Die Autobahn wurde voll gesperrt, es kam zu kilometerlangen Staus.

Imperial Forces Overrun Frankfurt International Airport

This could never happen in Berlin. Berlin doesn’t have an airport big enough.

The creator of the YouTube video, which shows Storm Troopers and Imperial Shuttles taking over Frankfurt Airport, claimed he captured the scene after landing on a flight from the U.S.

Good Point

“While there are genuine pacifists in Germany,” as German President Joachim Gauck recently noted at the Munich Security Conference, “there are also people who use Germany’s guilt for its past as a shield for laziness or a desire to disengage from the world.”

Gauck

Very true. But believe you me, if he or anybody else out there seriously thinks for one cotton-pickin’ minute that Germans are suddenly going to seriously consider “a more muscular foreign policy” (use their army for what armies are actually intended to be used for) just because of any good points he or anybody else out there might make, he and that anybody else out there should be tested for doping. Ain’t NEVER gonna happen here.

Es darf nichts kosten (it can’t cost anything).

“Germany is really too big to just comment from the sidelines.” Duh. So? How does that saying go again? Germany is too big for Europe and too small for the world.

PS: Germans are still really good at blowing up stuff, though.

Boom

Who Needs Sandy?

Thanks to this dad gern new-fangled Energiewende (energy turnaround), the power goes out in Germany “mit ohne” (without) a damned hurricane these days.

Es ist 16:32 Uhr, für die meisten ist der Feierabend nicht mehr weit. Da zuckt in den Büros kurz das Licht. Im Stadtteil Griesheim gehen die Lampen sogar ganz aus. Zeitumstellung. Es ist dunkel. Rund um die Innenstadt bricht mitten in der Rush Hour der Verkehr zusammen. Die Ampeln tun – zumindest nördlich des Mains – ihren Dienst nicht mehr. S- und Straßenbahnen bleiben auf offener Strecke stehen. In den U-Bahnen geht die Notbeleuchtung an.