Tag Archives: Tradition

Happy Christi Himmelfahrtskommandotag!

May 17, 2012 By in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, High Art, Higher Education, Home Cooking, Humor Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Vatertag is also Ascension here (or the other way around), and a real holiday. And a real boon to the German liquor industry, too.

And there really is some connection between the two holidays here somewhere, I think. Jesus is known to have drunk wine and wander around the countryside with his buddies, for instance. Although without the Bollerwagen (handcarts), of course. Nor did they ever drink and drive, as far as I know.

Not so here in Germany, however. Bild tells us that there will be three times as many alcohol-related accidents today as usual. And I believe it, too. Just ask these guys down here.

Herrentag ist Unfalltag!

PS: Christi Himmelfahrt is the Ascension. A Himmelfahrtskommando is a kamikaze operation.

Can We Have Them Back On International Men’s Day?

March 9, 2012 By in Habitudes, Helplessness, High Art, Hotness, Humor, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

Oh yeah, I forgot. There’s no such thing as International Men’s Day.

So much for tradition. The emasculated male staff at Germany’s Bild newspaper not only gave the women employees the day off on International Women’s Day this Thursday, they must have had too much to drink afterwards, too, because later that day the crazy bastards announced that the paper would be removing its trademark pictures of topless women from the front page.

How sweet or something. Sickening sweet. Now 28 years and 5000 topless women later we, I mean you, will be forced to turn to page three if you want to see them again (and we all know who they are). I feel so disgusted. And degraded.

So this is like progress marching on?

“I’m pleased that the pictures have finally disappeared from the front of the paper but the question is how long it will stay away. It was very degrading but we will have to wait and see whether this is permanent,” said Monika Lazar, women’s spokeswoman for the Green party.

Degrading, lady? Hell yeah, it’s degrading. Why degrade these women by putting them on page three?

Warm-up Time!

April 29, 2011 By in Habitudes, History, Hurt Feelings, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Berlin’s linke Szene (left-wing scene) is ganz aus dem Häuschen (giddy with excitement) and already on the street warming up for Sunday’s big May Day Riot.

The popular annual event, also known as the International Workers’ Day Riot, was originally celebrated as a senseless orgy of radical left-wing violence but has long since mutated into a senseless orgy of radical any-kind-of-violence-you-want dominated by agitated “Autonome“, participants without any political motivation whatsoever.

The Berlin police department is not permitted to intervene in any meaningful way that could possibly hurt the protestors’ feelings, however, this out of respect for the event’s radical leftist origins and the many aging left-wing romantics who will still somehow manage to take part if not vacationing on Mallorca.

All are welcome to attend. Barricades and stones will be furnished for free. You will have to resist arrest on your own, however. And PLEASE leave your cars at home.

Die Aktion sei “nix außer Selbstinszenierung” gewesen.