We’ve Always Been Socially Distant

Wanting social chaos, anarchy and revolution the way we do. But this year we were particularly good, sort of, by showing an extra portion of social distancing. Not.

Riots

Don’t you just hate it when rioters get “unreasonable” like that?

Hundreds take part in social-distanced May Day protest in Berlin – Protesters defied a ban on gatherings of more than 20 people to mark May Day.

„Natürlich sind mehrere hundert bis mehrere tausend Menschen auf den Straßen unvernünftig gewesen. Das muss man sagen.”

Get Your Popcorn Ready

It’s May Day in Berlin! And Berliners are big on tradition.

May

Tuesday I watched the riot . . .
Seen the cops out on the street
Watched ’em throwin’ rocks and stuff
And chokin’ in the heat
Listened to reports
About the whisky passin’ ’round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin’ down
Watched while everybody
On his street would take a turn
To stomp and smash and bash and crash
And slash and bust and burn

Berliner Polizei rechnet mit heftigen Krawallen – 5300 Beamte im Einsatz

Berlin May Day Protesters Too Bourgeois For This Anti-Bourgeois Nonsense

And too old, I guess. Everything is “relatively calm” yet again. Boring.

May

In 1987, far-left rioters battled with police for 12 hours, looting shops and burning cars. They were fighting against what they called a “bourgeois” celebration of the 750th anniversary of the founding of Berlin.

Rioting on May 1 then became a regular tradition in Berlin, starting in West Berlin and spreading to the East following reunification in 1990. In 1989 protests 364 police officers were injured. In 2000 the extent of the violence led to an attempted ban on protests the following year. In 2009 after a few years of relative calm, 273 police were injured with some rioters facing attempted murder charges for throwing Molotov cocktails.

Walpurgnisnacht und 1. Mai verliefen bisher weitgehend ruhig – trotz zahlreicher Demonstrationen. Tausende Menschen sind außerdem in Kreuzberg auf dem Myfest unterwegs.

Stop Hurting Russia’s Feelings Already

Who would have expected that? The German Left Party itself (they used to be called the PDS or Partei der Stasi) has expressed grave concern over the EU’s aggressive stance toward the Soviet Union, I mean Vlad Putin’s democratic Russia.

Wagenknecht

Rosa Luxemburg, I mean Sahra Wagenknecht herself has sharply critisized European crisis management with regard to the Ukraine conflict, saying it consisted of “vile Russia bashing right out of the Cold War” and that the West is pursuing a vicious anti-Russian policy of exclusion and unniceness and rottenness and that everybody, those damned faschist Ukrainians included, should finally just leave our commrades, I mean Russian partners alone already.

May Day, May Day… Earth to Wagenknecht. Earth to Wagenknecht. Can you read me?

Das ist übles Russland-Bashing aus Kalter-Krieg-Zeiten.

Spring Is In The Air Right Now

Here in Berlin. Just like the teargas will be tomorrow.

Demo

And if we’re really lucky, we’ll have a good old-fashioned senselessly violent “Antikapitalistischen Walpurgisnacht” (anti-capitalist Walpurgis Night) tonight, too!

So y’all have a wonderful German May Day celebration, ya-here (not established as a public holiday until 1933)?

In der Vergangenheit war es in Berlin in der Walpurgisnacht und am 1. Mai häufig zu gewalttätigen Ausschreitungen am Rand von Demonstrationen der linken Szene gekommen. In diesem Jahr wollen sowohl linke Gruppen als auch die NPD in Berlin demonstrieren.

WaWe 10, Where Are You?

Car 54 couldn’t make it. Man oh man. I want to see this puppy in action sooo bad.

It’s the Berlin Police Department’s brand-new water canon monster WaWe (as in Wasserwerfer) 10, specifically designed to stop those pesky May Day riots in a jiffy, without undue harm to the protesters (and hopefully washing them thoroughly in the process, as well).

But as fate would have it, this year’s anniversary festivities look like they’re going to be pretty lame after all. Kids these days. Who knows, though. Maybe something will ignite that smoldering fuse of indignation in an hour or two once the sun starts setting and WaWe 10 will get its chance to roll out into action after all, all magestic and Robocop-like. And wet. Sexy, isn’t she?

Does anybody out there know if there’s a riot-cam thingy I could link to just in case this party ever does get started?

Die für den Nahbereich gedachte “Wasserwand” soll Protestler nur nass machen und zum Gehen bewegen, ohne zu verletzen.

PS: Thanks, andBerlin! Maybe this link will do the trick.

Egyptians, Tunisians, Libyans, Syrians…

And where’s the freakin’ revolution in Berlin? Nichts, nada, niente.

I still can’t believe what didn’t happen here yesterday during this years “Day of Rage.” Some broken glass, a handful of arrests, a little pepper spray and some guy with a pie. Pitiful.

It looks like a history of violence has now become a history of violence.

The real May Day demonstration was taking place somewhere else this year, I guess.

“Wann geht es denn endlich los?”

Anarchists these days. Like where’s the action already?

Scores of riot tourists in Berlin and Hamburg are now demanding their money back after violent clashes between anarchist hot heads and the Polizei failed to materialize last night.

“And this is supposed to be unbridled chaos?” asked one disappointed Berlin visitor. “I’ve seen more action at a funeral parlor. We’ve been waiting around here half the night and not a single Benz is burning. Anywhere. Berlin is poor but sexy, huh? Well it’s boring too.”

Sehr zum Unmut vieler Schaulustiger bleibt es dann an diesem Abend im Schanzenviertel weitgehend ruhig. Bei Bier und Cocktails warten sie darauf, dass Autonome sich mit der Polizei anlegen. “Wann geht es denn endlich los”, fragt ein Mädchen in engen Jeans und braunen Lederstiefeln ihren Begleiter im Polohemd. Eine Digitalkamera baumelt an ihrem Handgelenk.

Warm-up Time!

Berlin’s linke Szene (left-wing scene) is ganz aus dem Häuschen (giddy with excitement) and already on the street warming up for Sunday’s big May Day Riot.

The popular annual event, also known as the International Workers’ Day Riot, was originally celebrated as a senseless orgy of radical left-wing violence but has long since mutated into a senseless orgy of radical any-kind-of-violence-you-want dominated by agitated “Autonome“, participants without any political motivation whatsoever.

The Berlin police department is not permitted to intervene in any meaningful way that could possibly hurt the protestors’ feelings, however, this out of respect for the event’s radical leftist origins and the many aging left-wing romantics who will still somehow manage to take part if not vacationing on Mallorca.

All are welcome to attend. Barricades and stones will be furnished for free. You will have to resist arrest on your own, however. And PLEASE leave your cars at home.

Die Aktion sei “nix außer Selbstinszenierung” gewesen.

Let’s get this party started!

It’s official. Berlin police will act immediately and systematically as soon as there is any violence – tomorrow.

You know, tomorrow during Berlin’s vaguely political and completely nonsensical annual May Day riots.

And just in case you’re in town and interested, please get in touch with this guy. He’s your friendly neighborhood left-wing extremist tour guide. The capitalist Schwein.

Die Polizei wird konsequent und unverzüglich einschreiten, sobald Gewalt da ist.”