German of the day: Unschlagbar

That means unbeatable.

Like Germany itself. Germany is unbeatable when it comes to beating Germany. Take German bureaucracy, for example. Please.

Germany is becoming expert at defeating itself – Bureaucracy and strategic blunders are starting to pile up.

In “the twelve tasks of asterix”, an animated film from 1976, one of the feats the diminutive Gaul must perform is to secure a government permit. To do so he must visit a vast office called The Place That Sends You Mad. In a recent open letter Wolfram Axthelm, the head of the German Wind Energy Association, likened modern Germany’s infuriating bureaucracy to Asterix’s challenge. A particular gripe was the 150-odd permits demanded by Autobahn GmbH, a state-owned firm that runs Germany’s vaunted motorways, for transporting outsize components of wind turbines, such as blades. Between byzantine rules on load dimensions, faulty software, perennial roadworks and a lack of personnel to process complaints, a backlog of some 20,000 applications has built up. A company that recently trucked a turbine from the port of Bremen to a site in the northern state of Schleswig-Holstein found that although the distance is barely 100km (62 miles), road restrictions made the journey five times that long…

How Progressive

Right, ladies? Different strokes for different folks and all that?

But maybe you ought to ask yourselves just what this is progressing to? I’d say it’s already progressed to the point where you can hang up those old swimsuits of yours for good.

Swimming World Cup 2023: Transgender swimmers to compete in new open category in Berlin – World Aquatics will debut a new open category for transgender athletes at this year’s Swimming World Cup event in Berlin.

Last year, the world governing body voted to stop transgender athletes from competing in women’s elite races.

The open category will feature 50m and 100m races across all strokes.

“Berlin is Germany’s hub for diversity and inclusion and therefore the perfect location for such a progressive project.”

Shouldn’t a Green be taking a sailboat anyway?

To Australia? I know. But she does seem to have a lot of time on her hands these days.

‘More than annoying’: German minister cancels Pacific trip after plane mishap – German Foreign Minister Annalena Baerbock was forced Tuesday to call off a foreign policy trip to the Pacific region after two failed attempts to fly from the United Arab Emirates to Australia on a government aircraft.

The canceled visit is just the latest in a string of trips by German officials to be affected by problems with aging government planes. Some experts have ascribed the problems to the policy of buying used aircraft to economize.

Let’s get back to nature!

Where the birds chirp, the bees buzz, the flowers bloom and the wolves rip your sheep apart.

You know. Natural stuff like that? Ah, nature is so Green (and sometimes red). And Germany is so Green it hurts.

Wolves, once confined to fairy tales, are back in Germany, stirring debate – “It took me a moment to realize what was coming out of the forest,” said the 37-year shepherdess, recounting one eventful day last summer in northwest Germany.

She was grazing her herd in a tree-lined field when she saw the wolf pounce.

“Aiiieee,” she screamed, recording with her phone as she launched herself toward the shaggy, slinking figure that had locked on to one of her ewes.

German of the day: Gestrandet

That means stranded. You know, like your govenment after a few of your wacky Green policies?

Or like your govenment plane that won’t fly any more?

Some call her Annalena of Arabia.

Breakdown on government jet – Baerbock stranded in Abu Dhabi. There is a mechanical problem with the plane carrying the foreign minister – shortly after a stopover it had to land again. The Foreign Office reports that the trip will be continued in the evening.

But everyone is underpaid in Germany

Why should refugees be treated any different?

And every German I’ve ever known is overqualified too. So, like, what’s the problem?

Refugees overqualified and underpaid in Germany – A new study has found that refugees in Germany have overall integrated well into the workforce. But many are overqualified for the jobs that they do.

More German De-Escalation

The German government is still doing everything it can to prevent the war in Ukraine from escalating.

This time by sending Taurus cruise missiles.

Germany, a leading arms supplier to Ukraine, could soon supply Kyiv with Taurus cruise missiles. But differences between Chancellor Olaf Scholz and Defense Minister Boris Pistorius could delay delivery, as could potential modifications to the system.

Berlin doing everything it can to prevent war escalation by sending more German tanks to Ukraine

These are tanks of peace or something.

Well, tanks for nothing.

Germany pursues a responsible policy in providing military aid to Ukraine and ensures that the war remains the one between Ukraine and Russia. German Chancellor Olaf Scholz said this on Thursday as he spoke with residents of Erfurt, Thuringia, Ukrinform reports.

“With all the decisions we make, we prevent escalation, the war between Russia and NATO; we make sure that the war remains the one between Russia and Ukraine. But we support Ukraine, which is defending itself,” said Scholz.

It’s a cover-up!

I mean, a makeup! A makeup cover-up? I don’t make this stuff up. Just look at the before and after photos.

The one on the left was taken before she ripped German taxpayers off of €55,000. The one on the right is after. She pocketed that cash, people.

Germans funded £47k in hair and makeup expenses for Angela Merkel since leaving office – Despite stepping down from her prominent role almost two years ago, Merkel continues to submit expense claims to the federal government.

As revealed in documents obtained by Tagesspiegel through a Freedom of Information Act request, the former German Chancellor keeps filing her expenses to the federal government.

Second-Hand Tanks 4 Sale

Never been used.

They’re a real steel, I’m sure.

Deal struck to send German-made Leopard 1 tanks from Belgium to Ukraine – Dozens of second-hand Leopard 1 tanks that once belonged to Belgium have been bought by another European country for Ukrainian forces fighting Russia’s invasion, the arms trader who did the deal said Tuesday.