Back To Nature

This story bears a resemblance to the wolf pack incidents.

Bear

Bear in mind, Germans have this need to get back to nature. But one guy had to bear the brunt of this romantic nonsense while his girlfriend was forced to bear witness.

A German PhD student was mauled and bitten by a female bear while hiking in the Romanian mountains. He managed to drive the animal away after his girlfriend told him to “punch it in the eye.”

A PhD student, huh? So this guy was smarter than the average bear, was he? Hope the bear doesn’t bear a grudge. That would be noble savage of both of them.

“Then I remembered that you’re supposed to punch a bear in the eye, so I yelled that and the bear turned around and left him. Andi’s so lucky to be alive.”

Back To Nature

Or don’t turn your back to it, I should say.

Ah, the wolf. What a romantic, wonderful, mythical creature. Until recently, that is, when things started getting real again. Wasn’t nature supposed to be warm and cuddly and friendly and nice? These new wolves are turning out to be real pricks, however. They must have been ruined through their contact with human civilization.

Wolves

Wolves are making a big comeback in Germany, which is making some Germans uneasy.

Farmers and hunters drove the species out of the country over 150 years ago, but conditions for wolves became more welcoming in 1990, after Germany’s reunification extended European endangered species protections to the eastern part of the country.

… He says government officials are insensitive to the worries of people living in the countryside. He thinks urban Germans have come to romanticize the returning wolves. “They think, ‘Aww, it’s a nice wolf, and he needs to be in nature and be free.’ But people raised in the countryside, they don’t need the wolf anymore.”

Eco-Death Zone Idylle

Put back up the Berlin Wall again already. For nature’s sake.

Wall

Bombweed. Yum! Wild Thyme, Burdock and Evening Primrose shimmy through concrete and broken stone…

As part of our new series The Illustrated City, Ali Fitzgerald reveals Berlin’s hidden spaces, where the flora and fauna are wild – if you know where to look.

Save The Wolves!

Save the wolves? So they can attack us at… cemeteries?

Wolf

These romantic visions of nature everybody fosters these days are all fine and good, I guess, but sometimes they can get a little creepy.

The German news agency dpa reported Wednesday that a 55-year-old man was working on the cemetery in the village of Steinfeld in Lower Saxony on Monday when he felt something biting his hand from behind. When he turned around, he saw a wolf attacking him and three other wolves watching from a distance. He managed to free himself from the wolf’s bite and shooed all the animals away. Then he went to see a doctor, who bandaged his injured hand.

Man oh man. This time there will definitely be consequences.

Auf einem Friedhof in Niedersachsen hat offenbar ein Wolf am Dienstag einen Menschen angegriffen. Nach Polizeiangaben soll das Tier den 55-jährigen Gemeindemitarbeiter in den linken Unterarm gebissen haben.

Germany Going To The Dogs

Or is it to the wolves? Or to the foxes maybe? Sheesh. Nature at its finest again.

Flamingos

When wolves aren’t killing deer down in the Bavarian outback these days, foxes are breaking into the Frankfurter Zoo at night and biting the heads off of flamingos. Bad animals! Bad!

Die am Wochenende im Frankfurter Zoo getöteten Flamingos sind keinem Tierquäler zum Opfer gefallen – sondern einem oder mehreren Füchsen.

PS: But now let’s move on to some more like totally unrelated unnatural type stuff. No Nukes, No Russian Gas, No Solar, No Fracking: How Exactly Does Germany Plan to Keep the Lights On?

Germans Pissed Off At Natural Catastrophe

Who’s in charge of this flood, anyway? Many wet Germans have begun asking themselves and others this question as the worst flooding the country has seen in over a decade moves northward through the country but not nearly fast enough if you ask them.

Flooding

Normally in rapture with everything and anything that has to do with nature and the natural environment, this flood is the second Jahrhundertflut (flood of the century) within the past 12 years and patience for this excessive outpouring of nature’s splendor is rapidly wearing thin.

Germans simply cannot stand things that are not planned well, you see, and this cataclysmic inundation was clearly an organizational nightmare right from the start. The flood waters refused to stay in designated tributaries and caused chaos and hurt feelings pretty much right from day one as the rainfall that caused the flooding came all at once. Causing the flooding. Like I said.

The responsible party for this natural catastrophe has yet to be located (except for the usual suspect global warming, yawn, but that doesn’t really count because global warming is responsible for everything), but when he or she is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Piss off!”

The Green Shirts vs. The Environment

Guess who’s going to win?

Green

One would assume that ecology and the Energiewende, Germany’s plans to phase out nuclear energy and increase its reliance on renewable sources, were natural allies. But in reality, the two goals have been coming into greater and greater conflict…

Since the party’s founding in 1980, it has championed a nuclear phaseout and fought for clean energy. But now that this phaseout is underway, the Greens are realizing a large part of their dream — the utopian idea of a society operating on “good” power — is vanishing into thin air. Green energy, they have found, comes at an enormous cost. And the environment will also pay a price if things keep going as they have been.

“We should overcome the temptation to sacrifice environmental protection for the sake of fighting climate change. Preserving a stable natural environment is just as important.”

Bye Bye Birdie

Those damned Americans again. The shocking news just came out over here that some 6.8 migrating birds die each and every year over there due to all those awful and yucky radio towers they feel compelled to put up all over the place all the time (for conservative talk radio shows, we must assume).

When will they ever learn?

And when will anybody over here ever learn to start publishing the numbers for all those birds that get killed each and every year due to German wind turbines? Hey, you know the deal. One standard for North American radio towers, another for green energy sources.

Wenn die ständig leuchtenden Lampen an den 4500 Türmen, die höher als 150 Meter sind, durch blinkende ersetzt würden, könne die Zahl der daran sterbenden Vögel um 45 Prozent sinken.

Is this enough “nature” for you?

No other animal has as many friends and foes, or is the source of so much friction.

The presence of wolves (in Germany) is turning upright citizens crooked and driving otherwise well-mannered conservationists berserk, triggering a wave of harassment, denunciations and lawsuits. Politicians, biologists, forest rangers, hunters, farmers and even city dwellers are involved.