es wulfft…

January 12, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Humor, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Christian Wulff, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Language, Politicians, Politics, Presidents, Satire 1 Comment

Not that anybody out there knows who the German President is or could really care less if they did, but a new German verb has just entered the language (in his honor?) referring to, well, referring to what, anyway?

The new German verb refers to the manner in which scandal-plagued President Christian Wulff has sought to manage revelations that he accepted a favourable home loan from a businessman, holidayed at the villas of the wealthy and left a threatening message for the editor of Bild newspaper.

It’s called wulffen and actually has two meanings (at least two), according to the director of the German Language Association in Dortmund. The first is to talk on and on unprompted. The second means to be evasive about a particular issue without actually telling a lie.

Damn. I really had no idea that politicians the world over have actually been wulffen with me the whole time.

“It means something in-between.”

As The Energy Turnaround Turns

January 8, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Alternative Energy, Berlin, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Green Jobs, Humor, Nuclear power, Satire, Solar Power, The Green Shirts 1 Comment

Now that the German Energiewende (energy turnaround) is here, tens of thousands of new green jobs have been created. Well, not quite yet actually. But it won’t be long now.

After all, once Berlin decided to permanently switch off the country’s eight oldest nuclear reactors and close the remaining ones still online by 2022, everyone here was absolutely ecstatic (at least those who didn’t work in the energy sector were). Sometimes you just have to give the people what they want, you know? And now they’ve got it. What they wanted, I mean

The same day the Energiewende was announced saw the first case in Germany of a solar panel manufacturer (Solon) announcing it was going into liquidation, threatening the loss of some 500 jobs. Then you had EON, Germany’s biggest power supplier, deciding to cut up to 11,000 jobs worldwide while its rival RWE shed 8,000. Then you had Solar Millennium. Then you had, oh I forget which one (there have been so many recently), solar something or something.

Hey, what’s a little job loss when it comes to the common green good (rhymes with Robin Hood)? These jobs are coming, people, sooner or later or maybe not even at all because, well, not even green jobs grow on trees.

Optimistic predictions that Germany’s decision to turn its back on nuclear energy will lead to the creation of hundreds of thousands of jobs in the renewable energy sector have met with scepticism.

Why Stop At Three Knut Memorials In Berlin?

January 6, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: An Inconvenient Truth, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Humor, Knut, Polar Bears, Satire Leave a comment

Why not 40 instead?

It could have been a lot worse, though, believe it or not. This Knutmania stuff, I mean. Just imagine if he would have drowned in the Arctic instead?

Knut arrived on the scene at a moment when global warming was a growing topic, born the same year that the climate-change film “An Inconvenient Truth,” starring Al Gore, was released… Gore’s “An Inconvenient Truth” claim that polar bears were drowning in the Arctic because of melting ice packs has since been discredited.

Bis zum Ende der Ausschreibung in dieser Woche seien 40 Ideen, Skizzen Bilder und Modelle beim Verein der Freunde des Berliner Zoos eingegangen.

We’ll Import Power From Anywhere

January 5, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Austria, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Nuclear power, Satire, The Green Shirts, Wind Energy Leave a comment

Even from Austria, if need be. And need there be.

“Missing power lines” are the cause behind the missing energy being missed in Southern Germany these days, we are told. That’s why Austria is being asked to help big buddy Germany out with a little “emergency energy,” pretty please.

But Austrians do this gladly, I think, because they know that if those missing German power lines weren’t missing than those missing power lines would be transporting tons of wonderful wind energy from the high German north to those energy-hungry factories in the south (and beyond to Austria?) where it’s missing at the moment, the energy. Like I said. Or so the theory.

The missing German nuclear power plants that were shut off after Fukushima (that’s in Japan) aren’t being missed by anybody here, though. Forget about them. It’s not the missing German nuclear power plants. It’s the missing power lines that are missing, I mean messing everything up around here.

Die Bundesnetzagentur hatte vor langfristigen Engpässen bei der Stromversorgung gewarnt. Die Versorgungssicherheit bleibe durch den Atomausstieg für eine Reihe von Jahren angespannt.

Politically Incorrect Incorrectness (Correctness?)

January 4, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Helplessness, Higher Education, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Free speech, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Islam, Islamification, Politically Incorrect, Satire Leave a comment

As you may be aware of, if you take a critical stance toward Islam in and/or the Islamification of Germany, you are a very way bad person indeed and may even be what some here would call an intolerant and politically incorrect dirt ball.

But if you call yourself Politically Incorrect (PI) to begin with and make a big deal about thinking that way REAL LOUD then you’ve been outed for good and will eventually end up with the German Verfassungsschutz (Office for Constitutional Protection) on your tail.

That’s happening now, for no particular reason as far as I can see, other than the folks at the Verfassungsschutz suddenly have the need to think that the free-speaking Politically Correct just developed a dangerous and “disturbed relationship with the constitutional state.” That certainly took them awhile. PI has been around for years and hasn’t pulled any punches yet. Hmmm, and here I thought that free speech was as constitutional as apple PI, I mean pie, I mean Apfelkuchen.

Es gebe Anhaltspunkte dafür, dass etwa die Betreiber antimuslimischer Internetseiten “ein gestörtes Verhältnis zum demokratischen Rechtsstaat” hätten.

Too Much Sun, Son

December 22, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Alternative Energy, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, The Greens 1 Comment

Now if we could only learn to harness the power of falling solar energy company stocks…

Solar Millennium AG plunged by a record in Frankfurt trading after becoming the second publicly traded German solar company to file for insolvency.

Let’s face it, people: The sun and Germany just don’t mix.

Solar Millennium war ein grüner Börsenstar. Beim Solarkraftwerk-Hersteller klang immer alles nach Weltrettung, ständig ging es um die Zukunft der Menschheit. Seit Donnerstag ist das Unternehmen pleite und es wird klar: Viele hundert Millionen Euro sind weg. Es droht einer der größten Anlageskandale der Geschichte.

This Just In: Britain Distrusts Germany

December 20, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, History Tags: Berlin, Britain, EU, Euro Crisis, Europe, Financial crisis, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, UK Leave a comment

Wow, talk about a news item.

This must be the scoop of the century. Are Woodward and Bernstein back? Did the CIA finally do something right? Where on earth do Spiegel journalists uncover such unexpected and volatile information?

Always remember, folks: If it’s not in the Spiegel, it didn’t happen.

“Welcome to the Fourth Reich”

Phase Out vs. Cash In

December 19, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire, The Greens Leave a comment

“Fukushima changed my attitude towards nuclear energy,” she said.

Now, though, it would appear that German industry is relying on government assistance to pursue the construction of nuclear power plants abroad.

Four applications for government export guarantees on nuclear power plant projects are currently under consideration. Known as Hermes guarantees, the program protects German companies from non-payment on overseas deals. The four projects are located in Finland, Great Britain, China and India.

“The nuclear phaseout must also apply to export guarantees.”

Malfunction Is Better Than No Function At All

December 18, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, S-Bahn, Sekt, Trains 3 Comments

When Berlin’s entire S-Bahn commuter train system isn’t down and out due to power outages, ice and snow (yet to come this year) or just plain good old fashioned traditional mismanagement, Berliners are asked to show understanding for S-Bahn train drivers who call in sick en masse, about 10 percent of the workforce at the moment.

They don’t do substitute train drivers, I guess, and that 10 percent is enough to cause massive delays on a number of lines here and tens of thousands of commuters to come in late to work, should those folks not have had enough sense to call in sick too, I mean. It’s been about three days now. S-Bahn drivers are sick here, alright. Sick of working. Merry Christmas to you too, pal(s).

“Unsere Personaldecke ist eben nicht hundertprozentig gedeckt, da machen sich krankheitsbedingte Ausfälle sofort bemerkbar.”

PS: Or maybe these guys have just been hitting the Little Red Riding Hood too heavy this week.

Bad Kanada, Bad!

December 13, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Activism, Berlin, Canada, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Kyoto, The Greens 5 Comments

Remember when Canada used to be one of the good countries (as seen from a German point of view)?

Well now those crazy canucks went and done it and have formally withdrawn from the Kyoto Protocol on climate change ITSELF, just like that, and just days after that cheesy last-minute el cheapo compromise on climate change in Durban that got German environmentalists over here (and everywhere else) all hot and bothered and globally warmed up and stuff. Sheesh.

And all for the love of money!? Why those no-good-dog-sledding-pill-pushing-maple-smokers. Can you imagine that? Is nothing sacred anymore? Since when has money made the world go around, people? Oh. That long, really? Damn.

So now even the Canadians are acting like, well, Americans. Talk about the wheels falling off your dog and pony show climate change bandwagen. What does this mean? Where do we not go from here? Like, other than Germany, who’s going to be next?

“Canada’s obligations under Kyoto would cost $13.6bn (10.3bn euros; £8.7bn): “That’s $1,600 from every Canadian family – that’s the Kyoto cost to Canadians, that was the legacy of an incompetent Liberal government.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Category Archives: Helplessness