Germany Drains Spain’s Brains

In a ghoulish plan to intensify their already ironclad grip of an anemic Europe, depraved German industrialists have now begun luring unsuspecting southern European engineers to Germany by offering them well-paid jobs which will allow them (the depraved Germans) to drain their brains at leasure.

To make matters worse, if that were possible, another grisly gimmick has also been introduced in which so-called “blue cards” (green had already been taken) are being offered to skilled non-EU workers, as well. Although ostinsibly intended to “make the immigration process” easier, this “blue card” babble is clearly just another cynical euphemism for more German brain draining activity.

The gruesome brain-sucking capitalist bastards.

In December, a planeload of 100 Spanish engineers flew to nearby Stuttgart for a weekend of job interviews. Within a month, about a third of them had been hired. And some German companies have been making connections over the Internet, simply plucking Spanish, Portuguese, Greek and Italian professionals from sites like LinkedIn.

We’re Helping Greece To Help Ourselves

It’s undeniable that Germany has great interest in helping Greece. Why just look at the great interest they’re getting back by doing so.

Despite all the perpetual bitching and moaning about having to foot the bailout bill for their bankrupt buddies in the bottomless pit, German tax payers raked in some 380 million euros on Greek aid interest payments in 2011 and are likely to pull in a whole lot more this year. It’s good to be the king, I mean lender.

Geez. With generosity like this, who needs extortion?

Im Rahmen des ersten Griechenland-Hilfspakets hat die Bundesrepublik dem Euro-Partner Darlehen von insgesamt 15,17 Milliarden Euro gewährt, um das Land vor der Pleite zu retten. Der Zinssatz habe zwischen 3,423 und 4,528 Prozent gelegen.

Thanks But No Thanks

Undank ist der Welten Lohn (nothing is so hard as man’s ingratitude).

What were you expecting, Germany? The Greeks have politely but firmly said no to a recent offer made by 160 German tax collectors who were ready, willing and able to fly down to Greece and help their Greek tax collector buddies gather Greek taxes in a more efficient and Teutonic-like manner.

The Greeks may be broke, but they’re not crazy. Not even Germans can stand German tax collectors

Als Begründung müssen die “hart arbeitenden griechischen Beamten” herhalten.

“Tax Advice Mission” Impossible

How about a little more sensitivity here, Greece? Germans are only trying to help.

And it doesn’t look like they’re going to stop trying to help you anytime soon, either. That’s why if they can’t get that “budget commissioner” they proposed to help monitor the Greek government’s (lack of) management of its finances, some 160 German tax collectors have now selflessly volunteered for assignments in Greece to help gather Greek taxes more efficiently. And as you can imagine, when it comes to taxation and tax collection, German efficiency can really hurt.

A recent flurry of acrimonious exchanges between Athens and Berlin reflect deepening doubts among mainly northern members of the 17-nation euro zone about Greece’s ability and willingness to overhaul its economy to satisfy lenders’ demands.

Merkel To Discuss Human Rights While In China

Very, very, discretely, that is. If at all.

After all, what are draconian measures against Chinese civil rights activists, state censorship and unrest in Tibet compared to all those trillions of dollars of Chinese currency reserves just waiting to be invested in debt-ridden euro zone countries like, well, her own? And waiting and waiting and waiting, I might add.

Who says grovelling will get you nowhere? Maybe I did. But at least it’s worth a try.

“Chinese investments are expressly welcome. They will be sought, used and appreciated — both in Germany and in the rest of the euro zone.” 

Those No Good Greek Tax Evaders!

Greece’s finance ministry has named 4,152 individuals as major tax dodgers that owe the state a combined 14.9 billion euros in unpaid back taxes as part of a campaign to name and shame tax evaders.

And Germany is empört (indignant), as usual. The interesting thing about the list though are some of the Greek names, I find.  These are names like Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. They almost sound like, I dunno, like German names. But that can’t be. Germans don’t evade taxes, right? Not unless they live in Greece, they don’t.

Einige der Namen klingen für hiesige Ohren seltsam vertraut: Namen wie Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. Schulden Deutsche den Griechen Geld?

And The Downbeat Goes On

Yeah, Angie Merkel has a New Year’s hangover, too.

The German chancellor warns us, I mean you, that the year ahead will “undoubtedly” be harder than 2011.

Yeah, prost Neujahr to you, too, lady.

Some 22 percent of the (German poll) respondents expect the region to abandon the euro and return to national currencies while 90 percent said in response to a separate question that other euro member states would join Greece, Portugal and Ireland in needing aid.

A Fistful Of Euros…

Won’t buy you what it used to.

Remember when the (place your favorite currency here) used to be worth something? I guess it’s the euro’s turn now. Hey, what goes up must come down, right? There must be something going on in the euro zone these days or something.

Die Gemeinschaftswährung sank am Mittwoch erstmals sei Mitte Januar unter die Marke von 1,30 Dollar. Am späten Nachmittag wurde der Euro  bei 1,2988 Dollar gehandelt.

United We Fall, Divided We Stand

Women and children first! No offense there, Nicolas.

It looks like Germany and France may have had enough of broke weeny Europeans (other than themselves) already and now appear to be planning a secret and very “exlusive stability pact” just for the crème de la crème of ze Europe. You know, for that handful of European countries that can still pay their debts, maybe. But don’t tell anybody yet. This is still a secret, like I said.

Deutschland und Frankreich sind nicht mehr gewillt, auf eine Einigung aller EU-Länder zu warten. Notfalls wären sie bereit, mit einigen Ländern voranzugehen und so innerhalb der Währungszone eine Art Klub der Super-Europäer zu gründen, deren Mitglieder sich strengen Sparauflagen unterwerfen.